Suonarelamusica Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 If I don't get this out of my system I'm just going to explode. What's wrong with a person who does something to hurt someone that they really care about, out of stupidity? I'm scared that there is something really wrong with me. I have loved my best friend for a long time, but he has a girlfriend now and he's in love with her, and he thinks of me as a best friend. A long time ago, I had a chance to get in a long distance relationship with him and I didn't take it and I'm scared that my chances with him are ruined. My best friend and I live in different countries, and I met him when I studied abroad in his country. Two years ago, I returned to his country to visit, and I fell for him, and he fell for me. He asked if we could have a long distance relationship. I really loved him, but I was planning on returning to his country for good, but I just didn't know when. I was scared that a long distance relationship would ruin the chance of a real relationship, and I decided to wait. I returned to the US but we talked on Messenger every night for a long time, and then for a long time I was without a computer and I didn't hear from him for several months. Then last fall I got on Messenger again and I found out that he has a girlfriend down there. My heart broke in a million pieces. I asked him if we could ever be together in the future, and he said that "I would have liked to share my life with you, but now I have another gf. This is the decision I had to make... I don't know if I'm going to spend my life with her... but you can't go back in time... in spite of that I love her more, I haven't forgotten you." He also says that when we were going to school together he wanted me for his girlfriend, but didn't tell me because he was afraid of ruining the budding friendship. He says he is to blame but I know he is saying that because he doesn't want me to suffer. I'm scared to death that there is something wrong with me because I have such terrible judgement. At the time I made my terrible decision I didn't realize that I was breaking his heart. I don't know what's wrong with me, if I'm just crazy or just a moron, but it's torturing me. What's wrong with me? Is there any hope of getting another chance with him in the future... or am I destined to be single for the rest of my life? I can't stop torturing myself. I feel in my heart that he is "the one." I'm not trying to be mean, but I have never been attracted to guys from my own culture... I've always loved latinos. But now, I've studied abroad and it's over, and I'm out of college, and I feel so lost. I'm scared to death that I've ruined my chance at true love. And what scares me more is that in retrospect I don't see how I could have made such a stupid mistake. I can't get peace at all. If you can help me thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kindle Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Time to move on im afraid. He wanted you and you didn't want him for whatever reason at that time. He moved on, got over you and met someone else, he's happy. If you really love him, you will be happy for him, not sad. Yes you hurt him but he got over it, and you will too given time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Suonarelamusica Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 I wanted him, very much. I didn't reject him because I didn't want him, but I was sure that I would return to Mexico and have a real relationship, and that a long distance relationship would ruin everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Kindle Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 I know It's really sad, but to him back then, he would have felt like you do now... i could sit here and tell you to go find someone else and all the other drivel that goes along with it, but i wont because it doesnt help when your hearts shattered and all you can think of is 'what if' or 'if only'. Its cookies, ice cream and good freinds round you that you need, so you can cry, and scream and let it all out. But dont beat yourself up over it. Im a strong beliver in it wasnt the right time for you, now is not the right time for him, but one day it might be the right time for both of you. *hugs* P.s if its a virtual party, mines double choc chip Link to post Share on other sites
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