Best friend

[TheUnmasked]

Here's just another little problem I needed advice on...and I guess it's pretty short and sweet.

 

My girlfriend of two and a half months, has a best friend who doesn't like me at all. This friend of hers is very hard-headed and slightly immature; my girlfriend is not. However, her best friend doesn't like me because "she knows how I am with girls...and doesn't want her to get hurt." I am not a player, but in the beginning of our relationship, I was stupid and may have let slip a "That girl over there is sexy", and stuff to that effect to "joke around". Big stupidity factor on my part. But her best friend just blows things out of proportion to the point where when my girlfriend and I are going to New York with her cousin and her cousin's friend, that her best friend won't go because I'm going. What can I do or say to my girlfriend to fix this situation, or to let her know that I'm not trying to cause problems with her friends. I guess I basically don't want to lose her because of her hard headed best friend.

[Arise_Serpentor]

Just explain it to your GF like you explained it here to us! and for super maturity points, explain it to BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME!!!

If your GF takes the side of her witchy GF, then you are just nipping in the bud what was inevitable!

 

Good luck!

[sandrawg]

Unfortunately, there's really not much you can do, other than do NOT lower yourself to her friend's level. Don't say anything bad about the friend. Just focus on your relationship and let the friend hang herself w/her own noose. She's being an unreasonable jerk, and your girlfriend will see that in time.

 

She might be jealous, in many ways, about your rel'ship.

[Arise_Serpentor]

Unfortunately, there's really not much you can do, other than do NOT lower yourself to her friend's level. Don't say anything bad about the friend. Just focus on your relationship and let the friend hang herself w/her own noose. She's being an unreasonable jerk, and your girlfriend will see that in time.

 

She might be jealous, in many ways, about your rel'ship.

 

Of course there is something that can be done! TALK to them!!!

Everyone is so scared of communication and confronting the issues head on in this site!!

"boo hoo! My marriage sucks! But I won't do marriage counseling!"

 

"boo hoo! I can't find a date! But I don't want to ask HIM out! How can I get him to ask ME out!"

 

 

"boo hoo! my girlfriend's friend hates me and thinks im a player! But I won't bring it up reasonably to both of them! They might not like it?"

 

If you just treat things like a mature adult and not wallow is denial, life is pretty simple!

 

What ONE thing is wrong with my original suggestion? Hmm? Anyone?!!

[whichwayisup]

If you lose your GF because of her BF, well, then she wasn't that into you.

 

Tell your girlfriend exactly what you've posted about here and sit down with the BF, your GF, sort this out.

 

Let your actions show them that you do care and love your GF. Don't flirt with other girls, especially when your gf is with you.

[TheUnmasked]

Okay, so good news. For me, at least. But before I was able to take your suggestions into consideration, my GF's BF decided to not go to NYC with my girlfriend, her cousin, her friend, and I for my GF's b-day; because I was going. To make a long story short, they got into a little conversation about me; her best friend even said that she didn't hate me, but that she was more jealous I was with her; and my girlfriend said the following;

 

"You need to stop. I wish that you would just TRY to make friends with him. I try to make time for both you of, but I want to be able to hang out with all of you. Don't worry, no boy or guy can get in my way of you, because you are very important to me. To tell you the truth, I'm not going to get attached to him, because I've been through that once already and it sucks. And don't worry about him hurting me, because if he does, that's his loss. But he's been good so far, so don't worry."

 

Now I guess this is good; but just one concern. Her saying that she's not going to get attached; is that bad? Wouldn't she get attached after a while, even if she says she won't? Her last/longest relationship was about a year on/off twice with a guy. She had problems with him, and was attached.

 

I just feel if she is saying something like that she won't get attached...that she may not put much emotion into our relationship.

[fubarred]

She is just trying to assure her jealous friend that she won't cast her away to the side because of her relationship with you. There is nothing bad there. People get attached for all sorts of reasons, and maybe her attachment to that other guy was for the wrong reasons and it led to problems with their friendship.

 

She isn't really saying that she is refusing to get attached to you, but rather trying to set her friends mind at ease that she isn't going to get prematurely attached to you and go crazy with it. I have a buddy who does this with the women he dates. Whenever he has a new girlfriend, we all know that it is pointless to even ask him to go off and do stuff, because every waking moment is spent trying to please the current girlfriend. He always comes crawling back after the woman leaves him(usually because he is too clingy and jumps the gun with his declarations of love and such). We always call him out on it, and he has basically started giving us the same speech that she gave her friend.

 

I doubt there is anything to worry about here. Don't read too much into such a small thing.

[sandrawg]

See? Didn't I call it?

 

The friend was jealous. Your GF got tired of her mess and confronted her, on her own. No worries!

 

I like it when I'm right