tommiw Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I know there's been alot of threads about individual cases where someone has become friends with his/her ex, but still wants more. Now I know that most of you will say "go NC", but is there anything else to try to get your ex notice you also physically, not just mentally. I think that the first thing to do is to show your ex that you would be fine even without the friendship. Like show him/her that their companionship isn't that necessary. Make them realize that they need you in their life. But what then? Should we show our full charm or what? Tell them how attractive they are or what? Thanks in advance!
nopainnogain Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 If ure cool being friends go for it. No luvvy dubby crap tho. Date woman. But could u handle her dating?
nowhereman82 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 If she finds you as a friend and nothing more, acting like more might creep her out and have her push you away. Maybe try dating other people to make her jealous
0hpenelope Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I know there's been alot of threads about individual cases where someone has become friends with his/her ex, but still wants more. Now I know that most of you will say "go NC", but is there anything else to try to get your ex notice you also physically, not just mentally. I think that the first thing to do is to show your ex that you would be fine even without the friendship. Like show him/her that their companionship isn't that necessary. Make them realize that they need you in their life. But what then? Should we show our full charm or what? Tell them how attractive they are or what? Thanks in advance! Hah! I agree with the creep factor. Compliment when appropriate, but when you do things like this... it's almost like a game? Wait, the way I see it... it is a game. "How do I flirt without letting him know that I'm flirting?" is the question I'd ask myself. But I'm so bad at flirting. In fact, I never really find out for myself that someone's hitting on me - I have to be told! I'll admit it: I have very little game. When you're having a conversation, don't give her details of your activities. Give her enough, but not too much - we can't tell you how to do that, you have to feel it out. With exes that I flirted with, I always ended the conversation first. I don't initiate conversations and if they're thinking the same way, I just say to myself "Be the tougher one. Don't contact him first." It takes days, sometimes weeks for them to get in touch with me. But no contact for too long - and since I don't initiate conversations - and my interest is already long gone. I get to the point where I don't care if they get in touch with me ever. That's one perspective. Anyone else?
Green Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 how are you going to show your olright with out the relationship with out going nc... anything else is going to be many times less affective.
MichiganMan222 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I would think if you want them back, being 'friends' would be the worse thing. It would basically help them get over you. Nice smooth landing for them.
nopainnogain Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 This one chick that friendzoned me asked me to go to the grocery shop with her. Its not my job,so I told her "no siree bob."
Yamaha Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Being friends with someone that you want more from is just a stupid idea ( for you ). All it does is keep you from seeing,dating others that do want more than friendship. If your looking for a love interest then don't settle for a friendship that only benefits the one wanting the friendship.
Author tommiw Posted August 22, 2008 Author Posted August 22, 2008 Being friends with someone that you want more from is just a stupid idea ( for you ). All it does is keep you from seeing,dating others that do want more than friendship. If your looking for a love interest then don't settle for a friendship that only benefits the one wanting the friendship. I have to agree, my case is now even worse, I've become a somewhat friend with benefit.
Green Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 I have to agree, my case is now even worse, I've become a somewhat friend with benefit. now your just bragging, whats the benefit you get to pay for her lunch's?
Author tommiw Posted August 23, 2008 Author Posted August 23, 2008 now your just bragging, whats the benefit you get to pay for her lunch's? hahah
Author tommiw Posted August 24, 2008 Author Posted August 24, 2008 But seriously, what should I really do. I don't feel like this for anyone else than my ex. I've grown alot and realized that I can live without her, but would still prefer living with her. She really likes to hang out with me and we've had sex and shared kisses, but she still goes out and ****s the first person she sees at a bar (yes I know, she's a party girl/whore), so would she be the person I could trust? No But maybe I could make her to realize that all she needs is right here, with me. Some girls just don't want to settle and want to have fun 24/7, so there is nothing you can do with them. I just hope she really isn't like that, because when she was with me, she was this kind and nice girl. Her friends made her what she is now (she is quite manipulative), so I know that old person is still hiding there somewhere deep inside. I won't loose my sleep over this and will continue my life, but there's still this little hole inside me that needs to be filled
Yamaha Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 but she still goes out and ****s the first person she sees at a bar (yes I know, she's a party girl/whore), so would she be the person I could trust? She has no respect for you, man!! She knows she can act however she wants and when she decides to hang out with her you will be there waiting. YOU will even give her sex. Man up and tell her you will not hang out with her and let her know it is not alright to treat you as the back up. Sometimes you have to respect yourself before others will respect you.
Author tommiw Posted August 24, 2008 Author Posted August 24, 2008 She has no respect for you, man!! She knows she can act however she wants and when she decides to hang out with her you will be there waiting. YOU will even give her sex. Man up and tell her you will not hang out with her and let her know it is not alright to treat you as the back up. Sometimes you have to respect yourself before others will respect you. Nice reply! I know I should do this, but at the same time I fear that I'll lose her. But I got to man up just like you said!
Yamaha Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Nice reply! I know I should do this, but at the same time I fear that I'll lose her. But I got to man up just like you said! The thing is you don't have her. You can't lose something you don't have.
nopainnogain Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Just friend zone her back and pimp other chicks. That simple
Mustain2234 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 What I've always wondered about this friend-zone is what exactly defines it? We all have varying degress of friendship in our lives: those you are with every weekend, those you rarely see but still consider a friend; and perhpas those you only know through work. Is it impossible to belive there are degrees of friendship for exes as well? If my ex girlfriend and I text maybe once a week, talk once/twice a month, and hang out once every two months -- am I within the friendship zone? It's obviously not telling her I'm fine with a friendship in the sense of going to her house to watch movies every weekend. She sure hasn't stopped me from seeing other women. Hell, she even told me the day of our breakup to see other women. Yes, she's on my mind -- and I'd like to believe we'll get back to together some day -- but it's not interfering with me life.
A CHICK WITH TEETH Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I can see your point here Mustain....but what if your "friend" is telling you they have hopes for something more in the future....yet they do NOTHING to work towards that...but still want you in their life as a "friend". In other words, they want you in their life on THEIR terms and conditions. That is my conundrum. The "friend" can't have it both ways...it's selfish.
Mustain2234 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I can see your point here Mustain....but what if your "friend" is telling you they have hopes for something more in the future....yet they do NOTHING to work towards that...but still want you in their life as a "friend". In other words, they want you in their life on THEIR terms and conditions. That is my conundrum. The "friend" can't have it both ways...it's selfish. I don't know everything about your situation, but maybe this "friend" is hoping for something in the future. Is this guy in college? Beginning a career? It may be years before you two are together. Even in my situation, I've forced myself to accept that it may be years before we have another chance. What I wouldn't do is ask him for a timetable. That's why I'm seeing other women now And about having it both ways, that's why I've avoided my ex girlfriends advances. I'm not giving her the benefit of having sex after dumping my ass; meanwhile not having to worry about any committment. I'd soon go from a friend to a friend with benefit, which is then a fasttrack to leaving her life when she feels regret.
nopainnogain Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Hell, she even told me the day of our breakup to see other women.. most likely she was bangin another dude. Thats what this statement means.
Author tommiw Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 most likely she was bangin another dude. Thats what this statement means. exactly :/
Author tommiw Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 Tomorrow I'm going to see her and say that I don't want to be just friends with her. I don't want to share her with others. I know that the answer will be "whatever" but at least I'll be free to move on completely. Or should I just do NC and try to play some games (make her jealous) and get her possibly to beg for my love?
nopainnogain Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 Best bet is from this moment on forget her. Dont bother telling her anything. Its not a game anymore,shes not worth it. Dont go n/c to get her back. Go n/c to improve your life ,be succsessful and the best you can b.
Author tommiw Posted August 27, 2008 Author Posted August 27, 2008 Best bet is from this moment on forget her. Dont bother telling her anything. Its not a game anymore,shes not worth it. Dont go n/c to get her back. Go n/c to improve your life ,be succsessful and the best you can b. I know that she isn't worth it, but I still want her back badly.
nopainnogain Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 But what do you wnat more......her or a happy life ????? you cant have both........
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