I feel really bad

[DontWorry]

So i dont know why i am posting this, maybe just because i need to talk about it with someone, or waiting for a magical advice that will help me.

So the story is.

2 years ago i went to my new school, and on my first day at school i saw a girl. I thought, oh my god.. Shes awesome! Asked a friend and got her phone no. Talked with her for a few weeks, and what do i see next week? She's sitting in my class room! She was moved to my class for some reasons. I called her out she allways told me the same sh*t. I dont know, i dont know, i dont know. After Half a year of this stuff she finally agreed to make a photosession for me and my acrobatical tricks and flips. After that we talked alot, but next we met was only at summer. She was photoshooting me again. After that, again.. I dont know. So i waited again, and called her out. This time she told me that she doesnt like me, and she doenst want to go out with me against her will.

So i decided to delete her phone no., skype, nad so on. But yeah, right.. Shes in my class, and i see her everyday. My feeling for her grown stronger and stronger. And on the Last Bell (this was my graduation class) i found out where she was meeting her friend, i waited for the moment she will come nad gave her flowers and told all my feeling to her. She said: I will think about it. I thought maybe she gave me a chance. We wewre talking for about a week by sms or skype and i called her out. She said again. But when the day came she said she had a tuttor on that day, the next day she said the same thing. I asked when she will be free, and everything came back.. The answer was i dont know. I got mad. This evening i wrote her a letter about how i feel when she does things like that and so on, why she couldnt say everything that day when i gave her flowers. She didnt answer me for about a week. And then a message came , that she felt sorry for everything she did, and she just didnt want to hurt me by saying NO to me that day. This really broke my heart, i went to bed and tears just couldn't stop falling. And the thing is that i NEVER cried in my life. So after that i felt a little better. I deleted all the contacts and everything that reminds me of her. But few weeks passed and we had a graduation party. I felt really bad there and got drunk ass hell because of her, and almost didnt end with a fight with a guy that she was dancing with. After that day i felt really bad. I saw her again on group meet after few weeks. It didnt end well again. After that i decided not to meet my classmates and so on, so i couldnt see her, and thanks god i graduated and wont see her again.

So the problem is.. That i really cant forget her. I watch her photos on the internet every day, i even got some on my mobile ( sounds sick yeah?).

I fully understand, that the best thing would be to forget her and move forward and so on.. Its the thing you all would say to me.

My Brain says FORGET her, and Heart says DONT let her GO, because you will never meet a girl like her in yor entire life. So i decided not to make any contact with her, and try again in maybe half a year, or even a year.. . Do you think its worth trying or not? I am ready for her to reject me again, but if there is even a 1 out of 10000 chance that i will succeed i will try it.

What is more she never had a boyfriend, and someone told me that she is afraid of being with men ( not as friends) and even afraid to to search for a bf. Maybe problem isnt fully in me? Maybe time will pass and she will change her mind?

[Ronni_W]

, and Heart says DONT let her GO,

Honestly, you cannot "let her go" because you never, EVER "had" her. What you do possess, to "let go" (eliminate), are your own misguided thoughts about any "relationship" with this girl, and what have turned into inappropriate feelings for her. Inappropriate because they have potential to interfere with YOUR ability to move on, and create a happy life for yourself.

 

Definitely 'no contact' is called for -- including 'no contact' with her internet pages, photos, etc. Delete them from your mobile. But also, do not contact her in the future. Not EVER. She has no interest in you, sorry to say. She hasn't done a thing for you to think there is a 1 out of 10,000 or even 10 million chance for you to get a date with her. There is NOTHING to suggest she will change her mind.

You've asked her out enough times for her to have gone out with you even once. She did not. That is a HUGE message that would serve you best to hear...and to respect her decision and feelings about it, as well.

 

The other thing is to be cautious of blaming your negative behaviour (like getting drunk) on someone else. That was your ineffective way of coping with your own thoughts and feelings. You chose it for yourself. SHE didn't have any personal influence or control over your getting drunk and acting obnoxious to point of almost fighting.

[CommitmentPhobe]

the problem is with you

 

1. she's not interested, accept it

2. you're obsessing it's not healthy. all this stuff about never finding another girl like her blah blah blah is complete bs

3. stop looking at her photos etc.

4. try to find some activities to keep yourself occupied

5. eventually, when you've grown out of this phase try to find a girl that's interested in you

 

you're way too heavy about this. you need to accept that there are some things in life you can't have and try to find the things you can