What's your take on taking the opposite sex seriously that they're interested in you?

[monkey00]

Reflecting upon myself, recently the past couple years it seems the quality of women I've met has gotten worse. I know many of them like to flirt for fun and many are indecisive and carry some kind of emotional baggage or like to keep their options open. They probably did like me but not enough.

 

For me, if I meet a girl and notice certain things about her - these are often red flags for me, which has mostly been on spot:

 

a) she flirts and is chummy with guys or has many guy friends

b) women that complain about not being able to meet the right guy, but they themselves are hardly ever willing to commit

c) she calls out of the blue and suggests/make plans, but flakes out on me or changes plans last minute..leaving little room for integrity and trust the next time around, which I could never take her seriously. Just a silly reminder to me that she still exists or is attention whoring in some kind of way.

d) She's a party animal and goes to parties every week / gets wasted every friday night.

e) Sends mixed signals / flirts for fun but is taken, which I learned isn't worth the bother

 

I'm sure I could add more to the list, and this probably doesn't apply to just women. I'm not pessimistic, insecure or unconfident in the dating scene. But with bad experiences like this, honestly I've been feeling pretty hopeless about finding the girl who's good LTR material.

 

Does anyone else care to share their list for good will?

[CommitmentPhobe]

a) she flirts and is chummy with guys or has many guy friends

Most girls I meet are like this. Not a red flag for me.

b) women that complain about not being able to meet the right guy, but they themselves are hardly ever willing to commit

That's a definite ried flag. If you even get to the stage of discussing "guy problems" you're just not a romantic interest.

c) she calls out of the blue and suggests/make plans, but flakes out on me or changes plans last minute..leaving little room for integrity and trust the next time around, which I could never take her seriously. Just a silly reminder to me that she still exists or is attention whoring in some kind of way.

Agree red flag

d) She's a party animal and goes to parties every week / gets wasted every friday night.

In the UK I think you'll find it a struggle to meet a woman that doesn't do this.

e) Sends mixed signals / flirts for fun but is taken, which I learned isn't worth the bother

Being taken is a no no

 

To add to that If you hear the "F" (Friend) word get the hell out of dodge.

 

Actually I think women make it blatantly obvious when they're genuinely interested in you so I don't tend to bother with these things any more. There's a much simpler rule, if you have to ask if she's interested or find some way of getting her interested... she's probably not

[4dviceJunki3]

Here's my list of red flags:

 

NOTE: Mind you these are all my personal factors)

 

1. If she mentions still having contact/feelings with/for her ex.

2. If she mentions, from the beginning when you guys are talking, that if things don't work out, can we still be friends?

3. If she flirts a lot

4. If she has a lot of guy friends or states that she doesn't get along with girls

5. If she constantly has a "girls night out"

6. If she is always coming up with excuses as to why she didn't call you back or text you back

7. If she's talking to anyone else in her life (dating multiple people)

 

Here's my list of orange flags:

 

1. If she has a myspace/facebook with a bunch of guys on their friends list; constantly posting her "hey let's hang out!".

2. If she seems to be materialistic

3. If she's not a phone person.

4. If she has a "guy friend" that she always has dinner with every other week.

5. No sense of humor could fly for me but it's definitely not fun when they don't have it.

6. If she makes plans and cancels a lot.

7. If she's a smoker

8. If she doesn't excerise at all

9. If she doesn't have a job

10. If she doesn't have any goals in life or doesn't ever plan on going to school.

 

That's just about it. I got a few for yellow flags but I won't get into them because then you would think that "Jesus, no wonder this guy cannot find a girl" LOL.

 

Remember that just because a girl poses a red or orange flag for me, I'm not going to go for it, no, but it's more of the "proceed with caution" tape that is wrapped around her package.

[paddington bear]

monkey00

 

You're not being pessimistic, I guess the phrase 'you have to kiss a lot of frogs' springs to mind 'frogettes' in your case.

 

We all hone down what characteristics we do and don't want in someone by looking back on past experiences - either that or you go for the same type of person over and over again in a horrible loop.

 

It's only natural and human to learn from our mistakes. And the things you've all listed here so far are not stupid things like 'doesn't have blonde hair and big boobs' - they are really related to how you deserve to be treated by a potential girlfriend and are quite right in my opinion!!