muse82 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 2 days ago i sent my ex this healing stone that supposedly cures anxiety(she suffers from anxiety) and wrote her a handwritten letter saying congrats with the new appartment. She texted me saying thanks for the letter and the stone.it was sweet of you.It made me really happy.I have been carrying it around in my pocket today. I have this gut feeling that we are gonna get together in the near future.Its hard to explain but something just tells me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Till she throws the rock thru your car windshield It does sound like there is some open lines of communication with you both.. and as such maybe fate will work in your favor... Is she seeing someone else ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 Till she throws the rock thru your car windshield It does sound like there is some open lines of communication with you both.. and as such maybe fate will work in your favor... Is she seeing someone else ? hehe I hope so. She also writes me on facebook and say stuff to me that we used to say to each other, a kinda funny quote.. anyways i dont think she i seeing anyone. you cant see on her facebook what her status is. I guess i am affraid to ask.. but the way she writes me indicates she isnt seeing anyone. I know i would get pretty upset if it were my gf that walked around with a gift from her ex that she hasn't spoken to for 6 months. Well i could be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Try not to put too much stock in her or getting back together. I am not trying to pee on your fire here, but the more eager you come off to her, the less chance you have of it working out. Think of her like someone new. Take it slow and don't rush anything. If she is to come back it will take time and ZERO pressure from you. You get what I am saying here? Let things happen naturally, don't try and rush them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 Try not to put too much stock in her or getting back together. I am not trying to pee on your fire here, but the more eager you come off to her, the less chance you have of it working out. Think of her like someone new. Take it slow and don't rush anything. If she is to come back it will take time and ZERO pressure from you. You get what I am saying here? Let things happen naturally, don't try and rush them. yeah i know cali. I was just sorta a rush and i did it..but anyway she seemed happy. She wants to know if i have any plans in the nearest future..i replied..nothing special just cleaning the addic(spelled right?) Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 addic(spelled right?) Attic:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 Attic:cool: Thanks:):) Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 well heres a little update.. So i sent her that gift. That evening we texted back and fourth. She sent me one saying she is looking forward to moving in etc.. I didnt respond to that one because i wouldnt wanna seem to eager. So a week later i write her asking how her first day at her new job went. Thanks for asking she replies and continues to ask me questions and tell me about her day. We text goodnight to each other. So 5 days later i text her asking if she has had a good week..she replies that it has been good but also hard. We text back and fourth and she is asking me what im doing right now and if i have any plans for the weekend.. I reply that i dont have any plans but probably going to watch some movies with my friend..Well she is going to bed and wrote me: sweet dreams sleep tight:) The next morning i text her goodmorning.. and she replies with the same and asking me what my plans for the day are..say i dont have any plans, and she says that she is going to go look for a fridge for her new appartnemt. So i ask her later if she found a fridge and she says yes.I write that i have been out looking at new cars and she asked me if it were any particular cars or just looking, must have been cool, i would like to do that as well. i reply what cars we looked at and stuff and i said that you should have come with then he he. Well she didnt reply to the last one.. I just sit here today feeling really bad, i knew i shouldnt have gotten myself into this but there was this little hope that maybe, just maybe she contacted me because she wanted me back or was thinking about it. I feel like **** for sending her that gift and i feel like a moron. But then theres the lingering question about why she contacted me in the first place and told me i was hot etc.. Wanted to be friends? catch up? she must have know that she could risk opening up a can of worms because of the way i acted earlier this year. She must have known that there were risk.That she could hurt me again because i wanted her back.She is a thoughtfull person and it seems weird to me that she would take the risk of hurting me again just to catch up. goddamn i feel so humiliated.. Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Don't beat yourself up. Alot of us have done the same thing and it took doing it to learn the importance of NC. It has been said many many times on this site and others, but if and when she wants to get back with you, she will find you no matter where you are. Just let it go and put this behind you and move forward. What's done is done and you learned a valuable lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Don't beat yourself up. Alot of us have done the same thing and it took doing it to learn the importance of NC. It has been said many many times on this site and others, but if and when she wants to get back with you, she will find you no matter where you are. Just let it go and put this behind you and move forward. What's done is done and you learned a valuable lesson. your right. NC is the only way. Just wondering what does she benefit from contacting me? why tell me that im hot and ask me what my plans are and all that.. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I guess I'm a little confused. You were texting back and forth for a day or so, maybe more, and then just because you suggest that she should've been with you car shopping, she went quiet and you think that's the end? I don't get it. Why don't you just pick up the phone and call her? It sounds like when she was asking what you were doing for the weekend that she was kind of hinting that she wanted you to ask her out. I think I must've missed something here. When was the last time you talked to her - thru text, email, whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 just be careful your not going into the friend zone you seem to be the one doing all the contact 1st..even if she mostly replies. either do as Angel1111 suggests so you know or wait it out.. til she contacts you:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 I guess I'm a little confused. You were texting back and forth for a day or so, maybe more, and then just because you suggest that she should've been with you car shopping, she went quiet and you think that's the end? I don't get it. Why don't you just pick up the phone and call her? It sounds like when she was asking what you were doing for the weekend that she was kind of hinting that she wanted you to ask her out. I think I must've missed something here. When was the last time you talked to her - thru text, email, whatever. yeah i have been thinking that i may have missed a hint. The reason that i dont pick up the phone is because she hates talking on it. Last time i spoke to her was yesterday afternoon. And if she didnt want to talk to me then she wouldnt ask me questions but just answer short and neat. Sultry, i think that i will wait it out and see if she contacts me. And if she dosnt then its NC all the way. And if she starts to contact me again then its just to bad. Its her loss.She will never be able to find such a caring and loving person like me again.And also the reason why i have been doing all the contact is because she is really insecure.Also because i wanted to show interest. Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 yeah i have been thinking that i may have missed a hint. The reason that i dont pick up the phone is because she hates talking on it. Last time i spoke to her was yesterday afternoon. And if she didnt want to talk to me then she wouldnt ask me questions but just answer short and neat. Sultry, i think that i will wait it out and see if she contacts me. And if she dosnt then its NC all the way. And if she starts to contact me again then its just to bad. Its her loss.She will never be able to find such a caring and loving person like me again.And also the reason why i have been doing all the contact is because she is really insecure.Also because i wanted to show interest. yea i know what you mean.. when i 1st started doing nc i thought he will thnk im ok about it and think i have moved on replaced him.. its hard to know whats best Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 yeah i have been thinking that i may have missed a hint. The reason that i dont pick up the phone is because she hates talking on it. Last time i spoke to her was yesterday afternoon. And if she didnt want to talk to me then she wouldnt ask me questions but just answer short and neat. Sultry, i think that i will wait it out and see if she contacts me. And if she dosnt then its NC all the way. And if she starts to contact me again then its just to bad. Its her loss.She will never be able to find such a caring and loving person like me again.And also the reason why i have been doing all the contact is because she is really insecure.Also because i wanted to show interest. You're over-analyzing this and letting it get too screwed up. First of all, it's a really bad idea to wait for a woman to call you. Bad. If a guy waited on me to contact him, he'd be waiting a really long time. My rationale is that I'm not going to chase him and if he cares enough about me, nothing will stop him from contacting me. You started out great with the gift, she responded and then you just let it die. If I were her, that's the way I'd see it. And P.S. - NC is nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 This texting/calling stuff is the wrong way to go in my opinion. Pick up the phone and ask her to go grab lunch with you. When you see her, see how it goes. If you really feel like you need to know where its at so you can make a definite choice about which way to go, that should tell you everything. If she wont even meet up with you, that should tell you something. If she acts all weird and standoffish when you see her, again theres your answer. I think you should make an effort to see her, and then see how it goes IF you really just need to know so you wont have any regrets. Prepare for the worst, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 muse, gifts shouldn't bear a pricetag so try not to get bitter or demonize her. You've opened the line of communications. Now let her come to you. While it does sound like she left openings for you, when you provided an opening for her, she didn't take up on it and withdrew. It seems to me that she's confused about whether or not she wants to go any further. Start NC again with the view to moving on. If she ever resolves and commits towards trying again, she knows where to find you. Link to post Share on other sites
nowhereman82 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Yea she needs to do some action beyond words. She knows exactly how you feel and what you want. Her action or lack of action will speak louder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 So i thought a little about what Angel1111 said.. And i think you are right, i need to do a bit of chasing.My ex is very insecure and very much affraid of rejection, so i guess i would be the one to initiate a meeting. She is not like other girls, far from it. So today i wrote her goodmorning, looking forward to kicking some ass in the tennis tournament? i am going clothes shopping today. She replied quickly saying she is at work and is on break and that she looks forward to kicking some ass. What clothes are you looking for? I am gonna get the key to my new appartment today and its just so so so so so good finally being able to open the door to my own place.Its gonna require some getting use to because i have not lived by myself for a year now. I then said i was going to join the party week in the city im in and she asked alot of questions regarding it and what it was.. So all in all quite positive responses with an interest for what im doing and such. I know this girl and when she dosnt want to talk to you she just plain ignores you or writes very very short messages.Trust me, i have been there:-) So i am gonna keep up with the texting and if she dont want it she can just tell me or ignore me, but she seems to enjoy that i show interest. Hard to explain but we have this very special bond.We are born on the same day, same year, ten minutes apart and we have never argued and called each other names. We have had our disputes but never anything serious. She is going to be very busy this week and weekend but when she is done moving her stuff at the end of the weekend i am gonna ask her out for a movie and some coffee. Its a good feeling today:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 and also i appreciate that you guys take the time to give me advice on this subject, means alot:) Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 you know her best at end of the day i hope it works out for you x Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 Today i received an moving notification from my ex..she obviously wants me to know her new adress.Dont know if you guys have it in the states but in Denmark when we move to a new place we send out these cards with a greeting and the new adress.Usually we send them to family and loves one:) Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Hey! I'm glad to hear that your messages were well received. Be sure to ask her at least 5 days in advance, or even a week in advance. It shows that you respect her and her time. Plus it gives you both something to look forward to. The thing about notifying you of her new address is very positive - glad to hear it. That's really cool about the two of you being born 10 min apart. What are the chances of meeting someone like that??? Yes, in the States we send move notices, too, but a lot of things are internet-based now. Well, keep us posted on how things go. I'm really rooting for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 Hey! I'm glad to hear that your messages were well received. Be sure to ask her at least 5 days in advance, or even a week in advance. It shows that you respect her and her time. Plus it gives you both something to look forward to. The thing about notifying you of her new address is very positive - glad to hear it. That's really cool about the two of you being born 10 min apart. What are the chances of meeting someone like that??? Yes, in the States we send move notices, too, but a lot of things are internet-based now. Well, keep us posted on how things go. I'm really rooting for you. Thanks Angel:-) I am gonna do as you suggest, asking her some time in advance.I think it would be the best thing to do. Yeah the chances of meeting someone like that is not that big:-) I am definitely gonna keep you posted, and thanks for rooting for me:) Thanks again for you reply:) ...Mick... Link to post Share on other sites
Author muse82 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 my mom added her as a friend on facebook:confused: weird.. not only has my ex appeared, and now also my mom..and now they are friends. they were not close.. Link to post Share on other sites
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