babygirltamara Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 I need some advice becuase me and my ex are going through alot and i odnt' knwo what to do. You see he just lost his grandpa on thursday and he came right away to my house because he needed me and that understnadable since we are very close friends who happen to love eachother. Well we are both 17 years old and you know how people like to talk about stuff that isn't true. Well yesturday one of his friends told him that when we where going out I went to his friend Rays party which he knew about but that we where wrestling which was true beucase he started wrestling with me and that my shirt some how came off and I was exposed. While I never was exposed and so now there is a rumor going around about that and I told that it was just a rumor and he is super sensictive about this stuff. While his friend Ray also told him that I kissed him when I didn't. So know my Ex keeps hearing about stuff that I supposling did and that I go down on guys which I don't. I think that is so disgusting and so desrespectful to both people involved, The only person who has seen my breast is Colin (my Ex) and yet some how he doesn't trust what I say. I have to keep telling him over and over and I am getting tired of trying to show him that I am telling him the truth but it me against a bunch of people and no one was there at the party but me, ray, Clliena, and rays friend John. Celina was with me the whole time and she has stuck up for me but Ray keeps speading the rumor. Now i am worried becuase I feel like the anger Colin has about his grandpa is being taken out on me. and he is just using all these things as reasons to get mad at me. I just want to advice on how to stop teh rumors and help Colin biuld trust in me again. Right now we are not talking which bring me to pieces becuase I know he is having a hard time and is pushing me away. So please someone help with some advice on what I can do. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 Is to confront the people who are spreading them. NOT in an angry or confrontational manner, but rather approach them face to face, WITH your boyfriend present and have them explain what is being said and "why". I think you'll find that the people who are so quick to talk behind other people's back don't have the courage to stand behind their propaganda when forced to face their victim. In defense, these cowards will usually point an accusing finger at someone else and blame them for starting the gossip, admitting that their information is "second hand" at best. So you follow the rumor train, one person at a time, you may find out with whom and where it started. And HOPEFULLY the trail won't lead right back to your own boyfriend, who may be inventing excuses to avoid giving you the commitment you seek. Your boyfriend may even discover for himself that the terrible things being said about you are not based on *fact* at all. But you must decide if going through so much trouble to PROVE your innocence to this boy is really worth it?? After all, if he is so quick to believe lies and hear-say without investigating it further, then he really isn't worthy of your companionship at all...be it a friendship or otherwise. You're worth far more than that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author babygirltamara Posted August 11, 2003 Author Share Posted August 11, 2003 Well you are right abotu the chain thing but when i knew who started it last time and me and my ex went to meet the guy..well the guy was a no show. This guy Ray is the one who started the rumors and I know that but we will never meet in the same room to talk about ti although I Would love that. Ray is the type of guy that will sit and say no you here drunk and blah blah and still put blame on me and I would sit there saying you are lying and you know it. I mean my ex got so hurt over the lie ray told him that my ex passed got form being drunk...he blacked out and no one knew about not even ray. My ex came to his senses yesturday in a e-mail. He said that he was sorry and that he knows that people make me out to be someone I'm not and he knows who I am and that he has trust in me. He also said he wasn't just saying sorry to save the friendship but becuase he was wrong and really is sorry and it takes alot for him to say sorry. He alos said that he had no real reason for being angry with me and was sorry for that as well. Don't worry I won't be so quick to be best friends again or something more. I am taking my time and I am taking back my heart untill I am ready to let it go and that won't be for along time. Thanks for your help. I just may do something about but is Colin trust me I odn't see the point in causing more drama. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 when i knew who started it last time and me and my ex went to meet the guy..well the guy was a no show. ...well, that should be a good indicator that Colin's friend (a.k.a: partner in crime) indeed lacks integrity. And Colin lacks character himself if he chooses to call this trouble-maker a "friend," and continues to trust anything that he says. Given the situation, it seems that Colin has to accept responsibility here. It's one thing to apologize for a mistake in judgment, but if this is something he continues to do over and over again, then all of his apologies and excuses will soon loose merit. It seems as if Colin is the one who's the most critical of you, and if in your situation, I would certainly be questioning his agenda and/or motives. Perhaps he just needs to grow up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author babygirltamara Posted August 12, 2003 Author Share Posted August 12, 2003 when i knew who started it last time and me and my ex went to meet the guy..well the guy was a no show. Well the last guy that we where supposed to meet wasn't colins friend and that was a whole other mess that idn't really have anything to do with me. The guy though colin didn't like becuase oneo f colins friends would sit there and tell this guy that colin didn't like him. I knew the guy and so the person put blame on me instead of herself. Colin finally figured out what happned and thought I talk behind is back which was never true and he knnows that. Colin hasn't apolgized befor about this and It was me saying sorry becuase I felt bad for going to the party wihtout him there. HE actulyl is truly sorry and know this. As for him and ray..well they don't talk much anymore and they only reason why the whole subject was brought was becuase colins friend Sean heard the rumor from ray and told colin about it. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 How good of a friend could Colin be if he doesn't trust you? Especially since, I'm assuming you gave him no reason to believe you ever cheated on him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author babygirltamara Posted August 12, 2003 Author Share Posted August 12, 2003 Sorry if i never updated but he wrote me a letter saying sorry and that he relizes that people make me out ot be someone I am not and that he does has trust in me. I know he is telling me this form his heart and I love him and I know he is saying the thruth. I am still not going to run into his arms or call him. He will haveto call me. I want to save are friendship and I hope we can but I am not going to be a clingy person. I will give him space. Link to post Share on other sites
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