The Collector Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 I presented you with a factual article. Take from it what you will. You can discuss the information that was presented in the article or avoid it by trying to deter the subject. I am discussing the article. I'm not surprised that if you show a group of men a woman they'd rate an 8, then show them a 10, then show her the 8 again, they might readjust their score on the 8. And my response is that women would do that exact same thing. You could do the something with cars, houses, movies, whatever. I don't see what it proves. And I don't care for having to repeat a point I made perfectly clear the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
morelaugh Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Ok morelaugh, let's say I accept your scenario. There's just two questions - How do you do it? And how do you know when it has been done? Mr. Lucky The same way you know if it was actual physical infidelity. You trust your partner. You ask them. You trust them. Sometimes/some people trust their insticts... sometimes/some people doubt and search for some proof... etc... I’m telling you, it’s the same thing, just different level. When you (or anyone else) can explain that to me, then I'll start worrying about my partner's thoughts... Mr. Lucky It’s not my intention to make you to start worring about your parter’s thoughts. You said you don’t understand that other people do, so I tried to explain. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 The same way you know if it was actual physical infidelity. You trust your partner. You ask them. You trust them. Sometimes/some people trust their insticts... sometimes/some people doubt and search for some proof... etc... I’m telling you, it’s the same thing, just different level. So how does your partner legitimately reassure you that his thoughts and fantasies meet your standards and merit your approval? And if it's so critically important to you, what do you do when he "falls off the wagon" and notices one or two of the other females on the planet? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 I am discussing the article. I'm not surprised that if you show a group of men a woman they'd rate an 8, then show them a 10, then show her the 8 again, they might readjust their score on the 8. And my response is that women would do that exact same thing. You could do the something with cars, houses, movies, whatever. I don't see what it proves. And I don't care for having to repeat a point I made perfectly clear the first time. The only problem here is if you are the unfortunate "8" married to a person who's constantly knocking your score lower and expressing increasing amounts of marital unhappiness with you on that score. If we're only good enough till you think your chances of getting someone better have improved, why bother even getting married? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 It’s not my intention to make you to start worring about your parter’s thoughts. You said you don’t understand that other people do, so I tried to explain. Why would the idea that your partner "thinks" about someone else be so threatening to you? If he fantasizes about someone else, what harm or loss have you suffered? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 I am discussing the article. I'm not surprised that if you show a group of men a woman they'd rate an 8, then show them a 10, then show her the 8 again, they might readjust their score on the 8. And my response is that women would do that exact same thing. You could do the something with cars, houses, movies, whatever. I don't see what it proves. And I don't care for having to repeat a point I made perfectly clear the first time. The only discussion you are trying to have is no discussion by using they "they would do it too!" argument. Which does nothing to open up a discussion or talk. We could sit here all day on the forum finding another social group that "does it too" and use that as justification for anything and we would never get anywhere. The article is about a clear cut specific subject with clear cut evidence about the way men questioned responded to porn and their partners. If you don't understand why it would hurt for a woman when the man she cares for makes the choice and takes the action that purposely puts him a mindset to think less of his own partner by viewing porn, I don't know what to tell you. It seems simple to understand if you ask me. Do women do the same thing? I really am not so sure they do. Even if they do, I don't see how that addresses the point the article is making about men, porn use and their throught process when it comes to porn and their own women. I think you want to avoid addressing the specific topic the article addresses. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Why would the idea that your partner "thinks" about someone else be so threatening to you? If he fantasizes about someone else, what harm or loss have you suffered? Mr. Lucky The expectations and fantasy world that men give themselves a free pass to indulge with, despite your thinking, do to varying degrees take away from the real life relationship and focus things on a impossible expectations. Check out the article that I posted about how men could feel about their own partner after viewing porn. I don't think fantasy is always bad. I think the amount and degree that men do it today is. I in turn could ask you in what way are men harmed by not viewing porn? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 I don't think fantasy is always bad. I think the amount and degree that men do it today is. I in turn could ask you in what way are men harmed by not viewing porn? This isn't about porn Jersey, although I understand that subject always seems to be on your mind (an interesting fact in itself ). I was asking morelaugh about one's perceived need to control their partner's thoughts and fantasies. But I will ask you the same question - if you think your partner's thoughts and fantasies hold potential harm to your relationship, how do you plan on controlling them ??? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 This isn't about porn Jersey, although I understand that subject always seems to be on your mind (an interesting fact in itself ). I was asking morelaugh about one's perceived need to control their partner's thoughts and fantasies. But I will ask you the same question - if you think your partner's thoughts and fantasies hold potential harm to your relationship, how do you plan on controlling them ??? Mr. Lucky Well obviously you can't control anybody's thinking Mr Lucky, you just exercise,diet and learn to smile when cum is being shot all over your face or you're getting 8 inches shoved up your arse and you pray, you pray that after looking at a never ending parade of 20 yr olds that he doesn't decide that you are too old for him,that you don't look good enough to excite him anymore,that the over whelming numbers of young women paraded by a man's eyes via porn who are seemingly willing to do literally anything means he can do a lot better than settling for you. In my case, from what I've seen thus far, my ex was 100% correct, he can do better than me, a lot better, he's out there now boning women a good 20 yrs younger than I, women who are so much better looking than I am that lumping them and me together in the same group and calling us all women seems laughable. And yes, I know your response.. he's a jerk, I chose my man poorly,yada, yada.. a quick look thru the dating sites tells me though that men in their early 50's, my male age peers aren't interested in settling either. They're looking for women in their mid 30's to early 40's and they best be ""open"to things like anal or the money shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 In my case, from what I've seen thus far, my ex was 100% correct, he can do better than me, a lot better, he's out there now boning women a good 20 yrs younger than I, women who are so much better looking than I am that lumping them and me together in the same group and calling us all women seems laughable. So now, it's not just men that are your enemy, it's women also? Or at least those women willing to date a man older than them. You should get help, soserious1. You've had to deal with a lot and it has distorted your view of life in general and people in particular. I hope you find a way through this... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 This isn't about porn Jersey, although I understand that subject always seems to be on your mind (an interesting fact in itself ). Hey, I never denied that I didn't have my completely charming and lovable issues. I was asking morelaugh about one's perceived need to control their partner's thoughts and fantasies. But I will ask you the same question - if you think your partner's thoughts and fantasies hold potential harm to your relationship, how do you plan on controlling them ??? Mr. Lucky I don't plan to control them. And I do not want to control them. That is your great mistake Mr. Lucky. You think by expressing contrary opinions that it's a voice of control. What I would hope, whether the subject was porn or something else, a person would want to work with their partner and exhibit signs of self control. I have heard many men complain about the lack of control their woman has used in turning to food and packing on the pounds. Men complain because I think they see it as a sign that their SO doesn't care to look attractive any more for him. She doesn't want to be beautiful for him, as most men preceive it. It is also about issues of lack of control and caring about taking care of yourself. For him, as a man, it can easily frustrate him. I would say you can see the same side effect in some women when it comes to men and their sometimes and often lack of control towards porn and fantasy. If I ate cheesecake and ice cream at the same rate the average man looked at porn, I would be over weight. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 So now, it's not just men that are your enemy, it's women also? Or at least those women willing to date a man older than them. You should get help, soserious1. You've had to deal with a lot and it has distorted your view of life in general and people in particular. I hope you find a way through this... Mr. Lucky Help with what Mr Lucky, finding some man who will consider me his cum guzzling grannie dream girl? Finding some guy who's so hard up he'll lower himself enough to fsck me. Perhaps help with resigning myself to the fact that nobody wants a wrinkled,scarred used up middle aged broad like me unless it's to use her for money? I'm looking thru the dating sites Mr Lucky, all the men in my age group want younger women, they want nothing to do with a beat up old pig like me.My viewpoint isn't "distorted"in the slightest as I'm quite able to read and understand the english language and I can see what prospects are now out there. I wished I'd been told years ago that my reward for being faithful and loyal, for being supportive and caretaking would be to end up tossed out just like garbage. There's no way "thru this" Mr lucky, no way at all. Perhaps I can content myself with the knowledge that scores of young women are being fed well on the alimony I pay,that I'm fiscally subsidizing all sorts of sexual happiness for other people. I wonder if I went down to skid row,waving money and vodka if I could find a guy hard up enough and get him drunk enough to bone me? Probably not, at least not if he's accessed a computer in a library recently. Porn, fueling men's dreams of a better life with the fine,hot women they so richly deserve,women better in every single way than those pigs they've settled for called wives! Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Hey, I never denied that I didn't have my completely charming and lovable issues. I don't plan to control them. And I do not want to control them. That is your great mistake Mr. Lucky. You think by expressing contrary opinions that it's a voice of control. What I would hope, whether the subject was porn or something else, a person would want to work with their partner and exhibit signs of self control. I have heard many men complain about the lack of control their woman has used in turning to food and packing on the pounds. Men complain because I think they see it as a sign that their SO doesn't care to look attractive any more for him. She doesn't want to be beautiful for him, as most men preceive it. It is also about issues of lack of control and caring about taking care of yourself. For him, as a man, it can easily frustrate him. I would say you can see the same side effect in some women when it comes to men and their sometimes and often lack of control towards porn and fantasy. If I ate cheesecake and ice cream at the same rate the average man looked at porn, I would be over weight. My best advice to you is the following Keep yourself up, spare no expense on your personal upkeep, never,ever,ever give up $$$ needed for your personal care in order to provide things for "the family" it won't be appreciated and will only be thrown in your face as he walks out the door to be with a younger woman. Obviously,you cannot control anybody's thoughts but you can make life a lot easier for yourself by always going with the general rule that he's basically never thinking of you,unless it has something to do with something he wants from you,something he'd have to pay other people to do for him, ie: cooking, cleaning, his laundry,looking after his elderly mother. Sexually whenever he reaches for you chances are good all he's thinking of is your sister, your best friend or how he wishes he was plowing somebody else right now. He's also probably wondering how quick he can get the act over with and go do something he likes better.To him.you're basically a human kleenex, a fleshlight that comes in handy sometimes and also does the grocery shopping, useful to keep around till the hottie that he REALLY deserves comes his way. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Obviously,you cannot control anybody's thoughts but you can make life a lot easier for yourself by always going with the general rule that he's basically never thinking of you,unless it has something to do with something he wants from you,something he'd have to pay other people to do for him, ie: cooking, cleaning, his laundry,looking after his elderly mother. Sexually whenever he reaches for you chances are good all he's thinking of is your sister, your best friend or how he wishes he was plowing somebody else right now. He's also probably wondering how quick he can get the act over with and go do something he likes better.To him.you're basically a human kleenex, a fleshlight that comes in handy sometimes and also does the grocery shopping, useful to keep around till the hottie that he REALLY deserves comes his way. That would be an example of the distorted view I was talking about... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 That would be an example of the distorted view I was talking about... Mr. Lucky what's distorted about it? From where I sit it's pretty clear that men only think of you when they want something or when they're angry and dissatisfied,feeling ripped off that there are so many fine,fsckabkle women out there that they're missing out on, women they could have have if they just hadn't settled for that boring old pig otherwise known as "the wife" Personally given a choice between having a hearts and flowers romantic view of men and taking the stance that sexually,once the early days are over that a man is NEVER thinking of me, I'll go with the latter, a lot less heartache that way. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 what's distorted about it? From where I sit it's pretty clear that men only think of you when they want something or when they're angry and dissatisfied,feeling ripped off that there are so many fine,fsckabkle women out there that they're missing out on, women they could have have if they just hadn't settled for that boring old pig otherwise known as "the wife" You're understandably bitter after your recent trouble but that's a very distorted view of men you have there. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 You're understandably bitter after your recent trouble but that's a very distorted view of men you have there. Really? I prefer to think I'm embracing reality. Men look at the never ending parade of porn hotties and then look at their wives and feel disappointment, anger at having been forced to settle, they look at their wives and feel ripped off,cheated out of all the really hot women. They deserve better by God! So collector, no overly romantic view of men from me, no expectations that they won't look at porn, no expectations whatsoever, just the stone cold acceptance of reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 From where I sit it's pretty clear Based on your survey of 1 man ??? Perhaps we should base our assumptions of the female sex on Lorena Bobbit... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Based on your survey of 1 man ??? Perhaps we should base our assumptions of the female sex on Lorena Bobbit... Mr. Lucky I'm going by my own experience and by what I read here and on other sites. There won't be a more in depth survey though, after looking over dating profiles of over 200 men close in age to myself, it's pretty clear that my ex was correct, I am indeed sexually "finished at 50" unless of course I'm willing to totally degrade myself, get all my teeth pulled in an effort to appeal to the grannie porn fetish crowd. Link to post Share on other sites
wellanydaynow Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I am sorry you are so bitter. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Ss1, you are obv iously hurting a great deal, but I am over 50, in fact am closer to 60. I'm a woman and can definitely tell that you are wrong to sell yourself - not to mention all of mankind so short. Granted, there are not as many men as there were who are both eligible and interested in older women, but there are definitely men out there. Nice men. I had marriage problems a while back and while we were separated I got asked out many times - often by men younger than I. Though you don't know it yet, your judgement is skewed. Take care of yourself, learn to be happy again and all kinds of good things can happen. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I am sorry you are so bitter. not "bitter" at all, just facing reality finally,seeing relationships without hearts and flowers, totally devoid of any romantic notions. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Ss1, you are obv iously hurting a great deal, but I am over 50, in fact am closer to 60. I'm a woman and can definitely tell that you are wrong to sell yourself - not to mention all of mankind so short. Granted, there are not as many men as there were who are both eligible and interested in older women, but there are definitely men out there. Nice men. I had marriage problems a while back and while we were separated I got asked out many times - often by men younger than I. Though you don't know it yet, your judgement is skewed. Take care of yourself, learn to be happy again and all kinds of good things can happen. The only "good thing" that could happen to me would be a nice,fast moving cancer. At this point, I'd opt for pain relief only. Link to post Share on other sites
manugeorge Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 The only "good thing" that could happen to me would be a nice,fast moving cancer. At this point, I'd opt for pain relief only. I look forward to a year or two from now when Soserious will come back with an update that she has indeed met a nice man who appreciates her for who she is and all that baggage of the past has been incinerated:D It'll be nice to still be on LS to see that. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 I look forward to a year or two from now when Soserious will come back with an update that she has indeed met a nice man who appreciates her for who she is and all that baggage of the past has been incinerated:D It'll be nice to still be on LS to see that. Don't hold your breath. Men won't be getting a chance to "äppreciate" my paycheck or other fiscal assets, my caretaking or home making skills. I now have nothing left to offer to men beyond very casual,hopefully nameless,sexual encounters. I've seen the light, I've been pornalized, fidelity,loyalty? sacrificing your interests for the benefit of a romantic partner? Totally old fashioned, out of date concepts. Sworn to fun, with allegiance to none, now that's the way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
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