toyed feelings?

[kelina]

hi all,

 

i posted much earlier in the year on 29th Feb about having mixed signals from a really good guy friend. i need urgent help now. my friend is back and i decided not to take on the overseas posting. however, i'm beginning to feel toyed by him. i didn't manage to meet him at the airport when he was back as i was away on a business trip and missed his email on whether i would need him to pick me up from the airport when i'm back. he called me immediately when i replied his text the next morning as i touched down late in the night before. we were talking as per normal with him saying things like i would have to take care of him for the rest of his life as he was ill then.

 

after which i met him the next day for lunch near our workplaces. it was relatively awkward after not meeting for a year but soon we were comfy with each other's company. he was a little touchy here and there but i just brushed it away.

 

the next whole week he would call or text me to meet for lunch even though his friends and/or colleagues have all asked him out for lunch and i was pretty uncomfortable about it as I had my own plans and it made me seemed like a baddie when i reject his lunch dates and so i comply to them.

 

However, he made me pretty upset the other day over his work and I was really disappointed with him. we talked things out but since then, things were never the same. at times he'd text or talk to me alot, at times he'd just reply me coldly or not talk to me at all. just the other day when we were talking he just placed his hand on mine and after which touched my head and was pretty touchy but after which he pretended like nothing happened. shortly after, he asked me to accompany him to entertain his bosses who were coming from the other part of the country and i went along but was introduced only as a friend which the bosses found totally hilarious. and that was only 2 weeks ago.

 

recently, he hasn't been contacting much and does not bother calling, texting or even IMing me. i feel very frustrated and lonely as i didn't think that anything was wrong...

 

anyone please kindly advise me what to do. i'm thinking of talking it out with him asking him what's wrong but i'm afraid things will screw up. I'm really confused about what he's thinking. what exactly am i to him?

 

 

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previous post:

hi all,

 

i really need some help here! been pretty confused and lost for the longest period. i have a really close friend for the past 5years. we were both staying in our university's dorm back then. he'd always come to my room to talk, laugh, hang out and just enjoy each other's company. nothing sexual or intimate just occasional pokings and hittings here and there. however the next year we both had different commitments in school and i was with another guy and we soon drifted apart. just occassional texting here and there.

 

i broke up and was going through the most terrible time of my life and that was when we started being close again. he'd always call me every night to talk and listen to me complain about life. he'd bring me out and insist that i go out because he's feeling down even though i don't feel like going out. (i only realised recently that he was lying that he was feeling down just cause he wanted me to go out and not feel sad alone) soon we were hanging out every day, watching movies, talking to each other over the phone and also going to each other's houses just doing nothing but bumming around and watching tv. sometimes i feel as though we are dating but there was never chemistry of such. at times when we're out he'd put his arms across my shoulders but i'd just convince myself that its merely a friendly gesture. he started asking me for help as he was interested in this girl and i'd enthusiastically help him. once, he bought her a present and to my surprise he actually bought 2 presents and he said one was for me and he told me i could choose which one i'd like to have first. (is that normal between close guy/girl friends? i assumed it is.) however the girl rejected him and told him that the girl he really likes is me and not her and his other friends also supported that argument which i felt was just an excuse to reject him. he was upset and i was the first person he called but he got over it.

 

we graduated and he was supposed to work overseas and we spent alot of time together before he flew and he even gave me a birthday present when my birthday was not even due till a few months later. i was really touched even though it was a small and simple gift. and that's because he told me was supposed to get a gift for another friend's birthday and asked me for advice on what to get and little did i expect it was a gift for me. he always remembered my birthday and take the effort to celebrate it with me despite his busy schedule but this was the first time he didn't celebrate it with me and to be honest i was a little upset until on the actual day i received another gift from him through another friend as he posted it back as a surprise! i really missed his presence. when he was overseas (he still is) he'll always call me once per week and we will exchange alot of emails despite the huge time diff and in all the mails he sent me he'll always start off with "my dear". i never thought much into it but a gd friend chanced upon the email and internet text and she started telling me to think of him in a different light since guys do not use endearing terms un-necessarily. (is she right?) i do not use such terms back on him.

 

throughout this period i realised i've grown more and more reliant on him and i told him that we got to distance ourselves a little bit as we will each have our own siginifcant other in time to come and when the time comes, we won't be able to maintain such a close friendship anymore. he agreed and said we should treasure the time we have with each other now then. he started asking me to go over to visit him and all expenses paid for. however i'm still tied down with some work commitment and hence took a longer time to give him an answer which resulted in him bugging me constantly for an answer which eventually irked me out and i told him i decided not to go over. He started bugging me to reconsider and we had a tiff recently. initially he gave me full support in whatever my decision may be however after i decided to go overseas to advance my career. that was when he started claiming that i do not have the capabilities and that i should stay put (i'll fly off before he gets back). I got really fired up and decided not to talk to him for some time. he told me he'd send me something when he gets his pay but i do not believe he'd.

 

recently, he internet text me to say that he stayed up for the whole night wanting to call me but yet i did not appear online and thus he didn't know whether i was awake or not. i felt that he's very fickle and its making me starting to feel a little weary and tired. all our mutual friends is dissuading me from going overseas and persuading me to go over and to have a good talk to whether our friendship is moving towards another direction. i do not believe he's interested in me but yet i can't be 100% confident. pls kindly advise! i really need help because i do not know how to react to him anymore. to be honest i kinda miss him since i stopped talking to him a few days back. PLEASe helpppp!