Jennifer Posted October 28, 1998 Share Posted October 28, 1998 Hi Again: It's me Jennifer. I wrote is it really over and can he change....I has been over a week and he is still on his best behavior. He is telling me what a big jerk he was before and he doesn't consider our past relationship even a relationship because he realizes how bad he treated me. He is spending way more time with me not going out at all with his friends. When we are not spending the night together he is going home right away to call me. My 2 closest friends still don't like him and I have a feeling they wont anytime soon. I can'tr blame them since they were there for the last 2 months or so when I was really depressed. They are both worried I will blow them off and get back to the point where he was my whole life. I have to go eat but I would love any advice anyone can give... Link to post Share on other sites
JUSTAGUY Posted October 29, 1998 Share Posted October 29, 1998 Jennifer, People DO NOT change overnight. He *may* change, but it will take TIME, and maybe a LONG time. You can expect FLASHBACKS of the past sooner or later. It WILL happen, I can assure you. Don't blindly put your guard down so soon! You are under the influence of your emotions. While you certainly have to do what makes you happy, your friends may see something you don't. They could be a better indicator of reality than WHAT YOU FEEL. Take their observations into consideration--and watch those emotions--they will cause you to make some very foolish choices! A week is hardly ANY indicator of a changed person. A year, maybe. *MY* advice still stands. And that is: separate quarters and no sleepovers for a few months (3-6 recommended). If you want to see if he is REALLY motivated to change, suggest this and see what happens. I think you would see a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde response from him. On the other hand, if he was SINCERE, he would have no hesitation in doing this to prove his sincerity. Jennifer, your relationship will NOT be any different unless you do something DIFFERENT with your relationship! You both need some space--you can still see each other--just tone it down a bit, and live SEPARATELY. What POSSIBLE leverage do you have now if he starts acting like he did before? You've already given it all back to him--he's in your house--what does he have to WORK TOWARDS now? Nothing! He will most likely soon feel like he has nothing he needs to prove, he'll realize he's been missing his wild side, and you are going to be in another big mess. Something to think about, isn't it? Keep us up to date here on your progress. Good luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
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