I found out he is cheating

[hotpinklove85]

ok so my boyfriend and I have had some trust issues (mainly me with him). He had an EA last year and said he has felt bad ever since. we were looking at some of the jokes/texts in his phone 2 weeks ago and he came across one he had sent to someone and I asked him who it was and he said it was a girl at work. Ok I might have over reacted but his EA was from a girl at work so i got a little upset. and he left, I tried to call, no answer, and I texted him and told him that i had never left when I was mad, dont walk out on me. He writes back that the next time he feels like he is being accused of something like this we are through.

 

Ok so I had time to think while he was gone and I know I had overreacted I just felt like he was hiding something from me and I wanted to trust him so I have been trying, letting him go out with thhe guys and I havent questioned him about it, I held it all back. I then noticed that he wasnt the same, he talks to me different. Kinda like "I dont care how you feel" and we havent been intimate at all! so I had these parinoid thoughts running through my head that I was trying to shake. and today I was thinking to myself, "you are being stupid, he is not hiding anything from you" well the parinoid side got the best of me and I said to myself "he is always on Myspace and if he is hiding something I will probably see it there, but since I dont think he is, to see nothing will ease my mind...boy was I wrong...

 

I found messages between him and the girl he had the EA with talking about how bad they want each other and how she hopes he will forgive himself from straying.....

 

Someone please help me, I need some advise!!!

[dazed.1]

I can imagine how you are feeling and I am very sorry, that is an aweful thing to go through.

 

I think you know what is going on with your bf. Basically you need to decide if you want to put up with a straying bf or not, because he obviously doesn't care about your feelings, that is obvious from his actions.

 

A guy who cheated once and wants forgiveness and wants to work on the relationship should be an open book, no secrets, nothing to hide, and he should be willing to do anything he can to minimize your insecurites. You have good reason to be insecure: he has already cheated! And if he wants to make this work he should do anything and everything to make sure you know he won't do it again.

 

He has no right to make you feel like YOU"VE done something wrong, you have every right to be suspicious, and it turns out your suspitions were right! Get away from him, don't let him disrespect and mistreat you ever again, you don't deserve that!

[whichwayisup]

I found messages between him and the girl he had the EA with talking about how bad they want each other and how she hopes he will forgive himself from straying.....

 

Only thing you can do is break up with him. He has fluffed this off and distanced himself, in hopes he can sweep it under the rug.

 

How long have you two been together? Do you feel he's worth the effort, is the relationship worth saving? Does he deserve a chance to make things right with you again? To regain your trust and faith? I ask this because you two haven't been together that long, it might be best to end it.

 

Especially because of this:

 

. He writes back that the next time he feels like he is being accused of something like this we are through.

 

He is deflecting it on you, making YOU the bad guy.

 

I know it'll be hard to do, but you need to break up with him. You deserve better.

[Lolodelight]

I'm two days in after my break up (after seeing this guy a couple of years). I found out the true situation of our relationship after seeing a text, too. Our relationship, my opinion, was great but for his love for his child's mother, which truly became apparent to me in the last few months. But I called it a day.

 

One thing I have learned is that you 'feel what you feel', reactions are born out of an action. Ask why did you behave/feel the way you do?

 

Personally, I suggest you call it a day.

[verve]

I think you would be best off getting out of the relationship. It sounds like things could potentially get pretty messy and you'll end up getting hurt even more if you stay with him much longer...

 

Good luck with things.

[bish]

ok so my boyfriend and I have had some trust issues (mainly me with him). He had an EA last year and said he has felt bad ever since. we were looking at some of the jokes/texts in his phone 2 weeks ago and he came across one he had sent to someone and I asked him who it was and he said it was a girl at work. Ok I might have over reacted but his EA was from a girl at work so i got a little upset. and he left, I tried to call, no answer, and I texted him and told him that i had never left when I was mad, dont walk out on me. He writes back that the next time he feels like he is being accused of something like this we are through.

 

Make his stupid little threat a reality. he obviously can't be trusted. And since you know he is messing around and he throws out that silly little threat....just ditch him. he isn't worthy of you.

 

The whole "you accuse me again and we are through" after finding out he IS cheating is really idiotic on his part. Someone caught cheating needs to learn the meaning of humble and humility. For him to react like that after being found out....simply means he needs to be kicked out the door.

 

If you dont, you WILL regret it. I guarantee. You deserve better.

[orangesean]

Yeah don't even sweat over this guy, he's a total idiot. First off he doesn't even attempt to cover his tracks, and continues to lie.

 

Here's a tip though, communicating major relationship problems back and forth through text messages is a sign of immaturity. I don't know if you think it's okay, but I'd avoid anyone who thinks that's how you talk to someone you are in a relationship.