BrownMike Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hi folks, My girlfriend and I got engaged just over 2 weeks ago. I bought her a nice ring which she picked out. We have a long distance relastionship. I am waiting for a job transfer to her town, which should have real soon. Anyway, we talk on msn and use the webcam everyday for a good 6+ hrs, however I have noticed for the last 3 days that she is not wearing her engagment ring. Did ask her about it yesturday. She suffers from eczema, so I was joking around saying...you not wearing your ring as your hand is itchy..... She replied, that she took it off to do the dishes in the morning, which I understand. Today, I noticed she is not wearing it again. This does bother me a little. Should I be worried or anything, or just laugh it off, so to speak. Thanks Mike Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hi folks, My girlfriend and I got engaged just over 2 weeks ago. I bought her a nice ring which she picked out. We have a long distance relastionship. I am waiting for a job transfer to her town, which should have real soon. Anyway, we talk on msn and use the webcam everyday for a good 6+ hrs, however I have noticed for the last 3 days that she is not wearing her engagment ring. Did ask her about it yesturday. She suffers from eczema, so I was joking around saying...you not wearing your ring as your hand is itchy..... She replied, that she took it off to do the dishes in the morning, which I understand. Today, I noticed she is not wearing it again. This does bother me a little. Should I be worried or anything, or just laugh it off, so to speak. Thanks Mike How often do you see each other? Did you ask her in person? Anyway, I think you should just ask her straight up if there is a reason she isn't wearing it. Don't make a joke out of it, just seriously say something like "hey I noticed that you haven't been wearing your ring when we are on the webcam. Is there a reason you aren't wearing it?" Just say it in a really supportive way. Oh by the way, how long distance are you guys? Like did you get engaged in person? How often do you see each other? You are on the webcam for 6 hours a day you said? How do you do other things? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrownMike Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 How often do you see each other? Did you ask her in person? Anyway, I think you should just ask her straight up if there is a reason she isn't wearing it. Don't make a joke out of it, just seriously say something like "hey I noticed that you haven't been wearing your ring when we are on the webcam. Is there a reason you aren't wearing it?" Just say it in a really supportive way. Oh by the way, how long distance are you guys? Like did you get engaged in person? How often do you see each other? You are on the webcam for 6 hours a day you said? How do you do other things? Hi, Thanks for the reply and the advise. I'm not sure if I am over reacting or anything, so I thought I would seek some help. I was up there for 10 days and proposed halfway though the week. Left her a card with a riddle and a key, left some gifts and more riddles around the house, which lead to a dinner invite in a little wooden chest. Cooked her favourite meal and had her favourite wine and then proposed. I fly up about every 5 or 6 weeks when I am on leave from work or have a long weekend. We live 500 miles aparts, takes about an hour on the phane. Just waiting for my transfer to come though. When I get home from work, we get together on msn and webcam. Thanks again Mike Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 nothing to joke about - i would pose it as a serious question; expecting a straightforward answer. something like... i notice you haven't worn your ring for a while... is there a reason why? do you have second thoughts about our future? Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 nothing to joke about - i would pose it as a serious question; expecting a straightforward answer. something like... i notice you haven't worn your ring for a while... is there a reason why? do you have second thoughts about our future? Yeah, thats what I think too. It's all about communication, ESPECIALLY if you two are going to get married. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Other thing might be that she just doesn't normally wear jewelry in the house(?) I hardly ever wear rings, earrings or watch at home. Or, she hasn't yet gotten used to having the ring -- first time we went out as an "official" married couple, I forgot to wear my rings!!! I was so pissed at myself cos I seldom forgot to put on rings before that, but for whatever reason THAT day my brain left town. As you mentioned, could also just be that the ring does aggravate her eczema. Not sure why she would not just have 'fessed up to that...maybe didn't want you to know that the ring bothers her skin condition to that extent that it's uncomfortable to wear(?) I think though, even when she's not wearing her engagement ring it isn't an indication that she doesn't love you more than ever before and/or isn't thrilled about becoming "Mrs. BrownMike" . Congrats on your engagement! Link to post Share on other sites
bluebabe_95 Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Maybe she is just not a wearer of jewelry. Personally, I dont like wearing jewelries at home. As soon as I get home, I take off my engagement ring. especially when I do chores, I don't like wearing the ring, for fear of losing the ring or damaging it. My fiance' used to nag me about this all the time but he's used to it now. I always have the ring in the special box and I know i always wear it before I go to work. You mentioned that she has eczema, which is really not comfortable with the ring. If it bothers you though, just ask her why she does not wear the engagement ring, and just accept her answer and move on to a happy engaged life. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
NewSunrise Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 First thing come to mind is did you not know she had skin disorder? If she does, I think she would have come out and told you that she might have a problem with wearing jewelry. Next, If I were her, newly and blissfully engaged, I'd be wearing that ring to bed! But to give her the benefit of the doubt, if she's like most women, I or we take all jewelries off. So it may be just habit and nothing to be concern with. What would be a concern is to move to her town with doubts. So, clear the air with her before you pack up and move your entire life. Just ask. Don't assume. This is not a poistive step to start a relationship with question. So.....just ask. Congratulations and Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
ed-205 Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I look at it this way, if she was trying to hide something from you, she would probably make it a point to NOT let you see her without it! Always look for the positive. Bad news will find you all by itself. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Maybe she was retaining water, or lost some weight? A woman's finger size fluctuates in a monthly cycle from puffiness to dropping nearly a size smaller. Perhaps her ring just didn't fit for a few days? That happens to me all the time. Or... is she having second thoughts about the ring itself? Perhaps it gets in the way of daily chores, or she thinks she will damage it? Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I think you should evaluate the situation against the relationship as a whole. Are there any other indicators that she could be having doubts about marriage? Has she said or done anything that made you question where her thoughts are? Have her actions been consistent with pre-engagment? I don't like wearing rings very much. When my H proposed, I only took the ring off to have it cleaned or repaired. Occasionally I'll take it off if I'm doing some kind of manual labor work that could damage it. When I got engaged the first time (previous marriage), I really didn't like wearing the engagement ring. I'd take it off all the time. However, the rest of my actions were saying I wasn't sure about the marriage too. It wasn't just the ring. For one, I'd told him I was having doubts. Two, I wouldn't set a date for the wedding. Three, I was indifferent about the wedding planning. etc. There were lots of other indicators that I wasn't sure about getting married. It wasn't ONLY that I didn't wear the ring every day. So evaluate the 'ring wearing' along with the rest of her actions. And also talk to her about it. It might be as simple as her adjusting to a large diamond sticking out from her finger. Maybe she's having issues with it catching on things. Or she's been doing a lot of things that could ruin it, and it's still so new that she wants to protect it at all costs. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Other thing might be that she just doesn't normally wear jewelry in the house(?) I hardly ever wear rings, earrings or watch at home. ! I am the same way. I love my ring very very much, but once I am home I take it off. I wouldn't dare leave the house without it on but for some reason it has to come off when I get home...just like my business clothes come off. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Her not wearing her ring while at home after getting home from work is really no big deal.. My wife takes her ring off during the day.. it just depends on what she is doing at the time.. She takes it off at night before bed too and puts it in her jewelery box.. she takes it off to do the dishes and then leaves it off till she remembers to slide it back on.. Now.. If she is going out of the home without it then you might have a problem.. A person who won't wear the ring in public has a reason and normally it is because they don't want to give the " I'm Taken " vibes to everyone.. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 If she is going out of the home without it then you might have a problem.. Unless she just forgets it...or her ring-finger/palm eczema is really acting up. Those are legit reasons. OP could get around any anxiety by just asking, "Hon, is your eczema acting up again?" That would show concern for her skin condition, that he is observant, and that he places significance on their engagement -- kill 3 birds with one stone, why not? Link to post Share on other sites
almost famous Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Unless she just forgets it...or her ring-finger/palm eczema is really acting up. Those are legit reasons. OP could get around any anxiety by just asking, "Hon, is your eczema acting up again?" That would show concern for her skin condition, that he is observant, and that he places significance on their engagement -- kill 3 birds with one stone, why not? He has to really care about her skin condition, though. Your little smiley face is showing me that it's all a game to play. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Your little smiley face is showing me that it's all a game to play. All I can do is hope not everyone interprets it as you have...though, of course, they do have the right and power to interpret as suits them best Link to post Share on other sites
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