We R Involved In An Email Battle!

[bigmanpayne]

My story is I guess the same as everyone in the 'long distance relationship' section but I will let you know what is going on anyway.

 

I recently met someone on an online dating site. She lives about an our and 45 minutes away. We haven’t talked on the phone or anything yet. We have sent each other the longest and most detailed emails over the last couple of weeks. We call it our own personal “email battle.” They are insanely long emails where we cover any and everything about our lives, ourselves, hopes, past relationships, dreams, etc. It is very time consuming but I look forward to receiving her emails and she has said the same about mine.

 

Here are my questions…

 

Can this ultimately work? It is only 1 hour and 45 minutes distance. (I am not looking for a relationship, like boyfriend/girlfriend but I do want some sort of relationship)

 

Will we be able to be compatible in person? We have been excited about our emails and I worry that it will be different in person, and maybe our “email battle:” is all that we will be able to enjoy.

 

Do these types of fairytales come true? Can this actually happen? I like this woman probably a little too much for someone that I have never actually met or spoken too but we write such in-depth emails that it seems as if I know her. Does that make any sense? I haven’t been in this particular forum and read some of the stories.

 

Help

[Rollercoasterr]

Things like this can, and have worked out in the past. If you read other members posts on here, some of them are in very successful, loving relationships, and even some are getting married. So it happens, you have to be patient and willing to try and make it work.

 

However, it is VERY easy to misrepresent yourself when chatting or emailing online, no matter how long and detailed the email may be. Some people do it without knowing that they do it, simply because it's not hard to write one thing, mean something else, and the reader take it as a completely different subject. So as long as you and her are both COMPLETELY open about what you want in the relationship, and leave those communication lines open, you should be just fine. Even if it doesn't work out to be anything romantic, at least you will have gained a really great friend.

[nopainnogain]

you might win the battle but you will lose the war

[bigmanpayne]

Things like this can, and have worked out in the past. If you read other members posts on here, some of them are in very successful, loving relationships, and even some are getting married. So it happens, you have to be patient and willing to try and make it work.

 

However, it is VERY easy to misrepresent yourself when chatting or emailing online, no matter how long and detailed the email may be. Some people do it without knowing that they do it, simply because it's not hard to write one thing, mean something else, and the reader take it as a completely different subject. So as long as you and her are both COMPLETELY open about what you want in the relationship, and leave those communication lines open, you should be just fine. Even if it doesn't work out to be anything romantic, at least you will have gained a really great friend.

 

 

thats the thing we both are completely honest. she tells faults and bad things about herself and i do the same. we are honest about everything and it has been different from most women i have talked too. everyone else tries to put their best foot forward and act as if they are perfect, but she doesnt do that which is something i love. yeah i think you are right, i think i will at least have a good friend... i hope.

[sfsassy]

My story is I guess the same as everyone in the 'long distance relationship' section but I will let you know what is going on anyway.

 

I recently met someone on an online dating site. She lives about an our and 45 minutes away. We haven’t talked on the phone or anything yet. We have sent each other the longest and most detailed emails over the last couple of weeks. We call it our own personal “email battle.” They are insanely long emails where we cover any and everything about our lives, ourselves, hopes, past relationships, dreams, etc. It is very time consuming but I look forward to receiving her emails and she has said the same about mine.

 

Here are my questions…

 

Can this ultimately work? It is only 1 hour and 45 minutes distance. (I am not looking for a relationship, like boyfriend/girlfriend but I do want some sort of relationship)

 

Will we be able to be compatible in person? We have been excited about our emails and I worry that it will be different in person, and maybe our “email battle:” is all that we will be able to enjoy.

 

Do these types of fairytales come true? Can this actually happen? I like this woman probably a little too much for someone that I have never actually met or spoken too but we write such in-depth emails that it seems as if I know her. Does that make any sense? I haven’t been in this particular forum and read some of the stories.

 

Help

Lucky boy! Good luck.

[Trialbyfire]

Call her and see if you have chemistry. No use wasting more email time.

[Touche]

You say this:

 

I am not looking for a relationship, like boyfriend/girlfriend but I do want some sort of relationship)

 

And then you say this:

 

Can this ultimately work?

 

My question to you is can WHAT ultimately work?

 

If you don't even know what kind of relationship you want then no, it won't work whether she's in front of you, or 2 hours away or around the world.

 

Seriously. Because you also say this:

 

Do these types of fairytales come true?

 

What fairytale? A fairytale of a relationship that's undefined? Uhm...no. Don't think so.

 

Make up your mind what it is that you want and then come back and ask your questions again.

[Angel1111]

I think if more couples spoke so openly and honestly with one another, they would be so much closer. Don't over-noodle it. Sounds like a really good thing.

[Rollercoasterr]

Well you are incredibly lucky if she is letting you get to see the real her before you've even met or talked on the phone. She's one of a kind. And I mean that in the best possible way!

 

I do agree with the poster who said that you should call her on the phone to see how you feel. 5 minutes talking to her on the phone could make a world of difference because you will be getting a bit more than what you have been. Instead of typed words you'll be hearing her voice, you'll be hearing exactly how she'd word things right after you ask her, instead of it coming to you after 10 or 20 deletes. As real as she's been, actually talking to her will make her much more so. Take baby steps with this.

 

Go for it, call her. You've got nothing to lose at this point.

[whichwayisup]

Get out there and meet her face to face. Go on a date. Take this thing OFFLINE because as much as she's being honest with you, (which is good) your reactions and feelings are based on words and your mind filling in the blanks because it's online.

[Trialbyfire]

Yup, talk to her on the phone first. What you'll find is that it's more difficult to pretend to be someone on the phone, than it is to email.

 

If you want to take it even slower than calling her, get her on IM, for some realtime interaction. She'll have to put her thoughts to immediate textual responses. You may find that she's unable to do so. If so, then she might not be the person she's purporting to be.

[bigmanpayne]

You say this:

 

 

And then you say this:

 

My question to you is can WHAT ultimately work?

 

If you don't even know what kind of relationship you want then no, it won't work whether she's in front of you, or 2 hours away or around the world.

 

Seriously. Because you also say this:

 

What fairytale? A fairytale of a relationship that's undefined? Uhm...no. Don't think so.

 

Make up your mind what it is that you want and then come back and ask your questions again.

 

 

fair enough. i dont want a serious relationship right now, but i wouldnt mind driving 2 hrs. every other weekend or something to see this person and have fun with her. when i say fairytale or can it work i mean can this come true. can she be who she says she is. can she simply just not be some crazy woman who emails strange men pretending to be something that she isnt. thats what i meant. sorry.

 

the fairytale is having her actually be who she says she is. i have seen a ton of pictures so i dont mean physically, i mean mentally. i have been staying clear of having a girlfriend but if something feels right in the future i wouldnt be opposed to having one... IN THE DISTANT FUTURE... as of right now i just want to have fun and hope that this chick isnt crazy. hope that helps

[bigmanpayne]

Get out there and meet her face to face. Go on a date. Take this thing OFFLINE because as much as she's being honest with you, (which is good) your reactions and feelings are based on words and your mind filling in the blanks because it's online.

 

 

you have good points but i like what everyone else is saying about calling first. its only been a couple weeks, i dont want to drive 2 hours for a date having never talked on the phone with her. you are dead on about things being based on words and my mind filling in the blanks.

[Rollercoasterr]

the fairytale is having her actually be who she says she is. i have seen a ton of pictures so i dont mean physically, i mean mentally. i have been staying clear of having a girlfriend but if something feels right in the future i wouldnt be opposed to having one... IN THE DISTANT FUTURE... as of right now i just want to have fun and hope that this chick isnt crazy. hope that helps

 

 

So don't meet her yet. You might get her hopes up for something more, and that would just end up in disaster. But before this thing goes any further than what it already is, I second my second motion of calling her. Just like Trialbyfire said, it's very hard to be someone you're not when you're engaged in a realtime conversation, even with IMs going on. I know that when I talk to my lovie on MSN, he can see the little thing on the bottom of the box that says "***** is typing a message(or however it goes)." If it takes too long, or if it suddenly goes away, he'll ask me what I was going to say. So even if you dont want to talk to her on the phone just yet, invest in some good IMing time.

[Meaplus3]

My story is I guess the same as everyone in the 'long distance relationship' section but I will let you know what is going on anyway.

 

I recently met someone on an online dating site. She lives about an our and 45 minutes away. We haven’t talked on the phone or anything yet. We have sent each other the longest and most detailed emails over the last couple of weeks. We call it our own personal “email battle.” They are insanely long emails where we cover any and everything about our lives, ourselves, hopes, past relationships, dreams, etc. It is very time consuming but I look forward to receiving her emails and she has said the same about mine.

 

Here are my questions…

 

Can this ultimately work? It is only 1 hour and 45 minutes distance. (I am not looking for a relationship, like boyfriend/girlfriend but I do want some sort of relationship)

 

Will we be able to be compatible in person? We have been excited about our emails and I worry that it will be different in person, and maybe our “email battle:” is all that we will be able to enjoy.

 

Do these types of fairytales come true? Can this actually happen? I like this woman probably a little too much for someone that I have never actually met or spoken too but we write such in-depth emails that it seems as if I know her. Does that make any sense? I haven’t been in this particular forum and read some of the stories.

 

Help

 

Try talking on the phone and see how that goes.

 

AP:)

[bigmanpayne]

Try talking on the phone and see how that goes.

 

AP:)

 

 

we started talking on the phone these past 2 days and it has been ok. i am supposed to drive the 2 hours to see her 2morrow and i am kinda nervous. any other advice for me?

[carhill]

Don't be late

[sfsassy]

we started talking on the phone these past 2 days and it has been ok. i am supposed to drive the 2 hours to see her 2morrow and i am kinda nervous. any other advice for me?

Have fun! Two hours isn't say like a day to drive or something, so if you like her, you can really make the LDR (OR lLDF for Fun) work for you.

[Rollercoasterr]

Dont be lateeeeee.

 

Have fun!

[Mary3]

I have found that those who write huge long emails are mostly full of BS.

 

Cases in Point : One man and I emailed in great detail and at one point I wanted to talk on the phone. Excuse after excuse and then he dissappeared. I think he was very shy , very weird or very married...

 

Next guy : Emailed in great detail. I wanted to talk on the phone. We did . NO chemistry. I tried to back away. He got insulting . End of story.

 

Done.

[Mary3]

Guy number 3 wrote long eloquent emails . I was impressed. We talked on the phone. He said " Would it bother you if I told you I had a girlfriend ? " And can we be discreet ?

 

End of story.

[Rollercoasterr]

Guy number 3 wrote long eloquent emails . I was impressed. We talked on the phone. He said " Would it bother you if I told you I had a girlfriend ? " And can we be discreet ?

 

End of story.

 

 

That just made me laugh so hard. I can't believe someone would think that you WOULDN'T mind that! Seriously...some guys are just so...so very stupid.

 

So I REALLY wanted to say something else instead of stupid, but I'm trying this whole being nice thing lately.

[Hoosier09]

It sounds like you guys are just getting to know each other. Sure it can work. You just have to both be willing to work at it. Definitely try something other than emails. MSN with a webcam is a great way to talk to people. I do understand it's a lot easier to talk on the computer though. It might be awkward when you meet or talk on the phone for the first few times but I'm sure you will get used to it. I live in the US and my girlfriend lives in England but we are making it work. It's very hard but we love each other and both want to do our best to make it work. Try talking on an instant messenger. It will allow you to have conversations that you can't have in emails very easily. A webcam makes it that much more personal. Don't give up on it. It can work out. You obviously have something there and if it makes you happy then there's no reason not to pursue it. One of the biggest points I stress in any type of relationship is communication. Communicate to her what you want and see where she is at. Especially in long distance relationships, you have to be truly honest with each other.

 

Also, don't listen to the people that say LDRs can't work. They can. Thanks to technology you can do almost anything. I am happily involved in one...and it's a lot further distance than an hour and a half. I'm so so jealous Only 4 months till I see my girl though

 

Good luck and I hope things work out. Just do what will make you the happiest. Don't question it.

[bigmanpayne]

I have found that those who write huge long emails are mostly full of BS.

 

Cases in Point : One man and I emailed in great detail and at one point I wanted to talk on the phone. Excuse after excuse and then he dissappeared. I think he was very shy , very weird or very married...

 

Next guy : Emailed in great detail. I wanted to talk on the phone. We did . NO chemistry. I tried to back away. He got insulting . End of story.

 

Done.

 

 

we have long emails and we have talked on the phone and things have been the same as the emails. i guess i am just lucky. right now i have about 4 hours until i leave my home to go and meet her. i am so nervous.