cougars and cubs - how young is too young?

[soserious1]

Ladies, why don't you listen to the gist of what every man is saying?

 

Basically it is ok for fun, but not for long term.. Why are you so insistent that younger men must want to marry older women? They don't. So? Have fun with them.

 

"I want to pursue random flings with older women"

 

"Age is important in a relationship"

 

The cruel reality is younger men will look at you as just for sex, and some company. if you want to settle for that, then go ahead.

 

 

you say that as if there's some fabulous other option for older women

but according to you no man is going to want us anyway, at best we MIGHT find some elderly man who figures that the best way to avoid the nursing home down the road would be to marry some old gal who can be in charge of providing him with home care.

 

I'd saying "settling" for sex and company is a lot better.

[vonerik012]

you say that as if there's some fabulous other option for older women

but according to you no man is going to want us anyway, at best we MIGHT find some elderly man who figures that the best way to aoid the nursing home down the road would be to marry some old gal who can be in charge of

providing him with home care.

 

I'd saying "settling" for sex and company is a lot better.

 

Then do that.. You don't like older men obviously.. But you are insulted if younger men do not like you? makes no sense at all.

[soserious1]

Then do that.. You don't like older men obviously.. But you are insulted if younger men do not like you? makes no sense at all.

 

no, what I said is that I want to be with somebody who's in approxiatmately the same state of physical health and fitness that I am in and who shares similar interests, most of the elderly men you keep urging me to look for don't.

[Jilly Bean]

I don't find him amusing at all and I quit reading his crap long ago. But whatever makes you happy. I do think that if everyone would stop taking the bait he would get bored with talking to himself. Just my thoughts.

 

And that's fine, hon - we're on the same side, here. I'm just saying that no woman here is actually upset by what he is saying. It's no different than listening to a KKK speech or any other type of 'ism - it's just pure drivel and becomes white noise.

 

And honestly, I think his comments have had the absolutely opposite effect of his intentions. The women here seem to be feeling MORE secure and fabulous with who they are, their age, and station in life. And I think that's awesome.

[vonerik012]

I never said you should find an "elderly" man. i don't even know how old you are.

 

Lets say you are 50. 49-57 seems like the best idea to me. 43? I don't think so.

[Yamaha]

Are you saying, right at this moment Yam.. that two people same age is a guarantee that they will have an ever-ending 'till death do us part' relationship...

 

You know me.. I don't believe in those.. so why not have it if the chemistry is there.. who cares about the future.. we should always live as if it was our last day.. enjoying every moment.. one day at a time..

 

There is NO guarantee for longevity.. not even same-age relationships..

 

Many people are looking for a relationship. If your not then you can do as you please.

 

There is no guarantee for a healthy relationship. If you find someone, even if their 10-20 years different, it can work but this is not the norm. I'm just saying it is usually the older person that gets hurt in relationships of a large age so keep it in mind if your tastes run to the very young.

[soserious1]

I never said you should find an "elderly" man. i don't even know how old you are.

 

Lets say you are 50. 49-57 seems like the best idea to me. 43? I don't think so.

 

I am slim, have a resting pulse of 62, BP that runs 100/60, I take only one medication (allergies) I have no debt, no children living at home, I want somebody who can roughly match my lifestyle and health status. I'm not ruling out men either 7 yrs older OR up to 7 yrs younger.

[vonerik012]

Ok SOSO then go 7 years younger... Do you want a relationship, or just company? There is a difference.

 

While you are very generous in your offer to go 7 years younger, many 43 yr old men also offer that same generosity to women who are 7 years younger.

 

He can be with a 36 yr old.. or a 50 yr old. Thats a 14 yr difference. Men think of these things.

[soserious1]

Ok SOSO then go 7 years younger... Do you want a relationship, or just company? There is a difference.

 

While you are very generous in your offer to go 7 years younger, many 43 yr old men also offer that same generosity to women who are 7 years younger.

 

He can be with a 36 yr old.. or a 50 yr old. Thats a 14 yr difference. Men think of these things.

 

43 yr old freshly divorced men who are in the process of paying college tuition

for their own pre-existing teenaged, young adult children aren't apt to want more babies nor are they keen on assuming step-father responsibilities for school aged children or toddlers,a 36 yr old woman will most likely want babies of her own and soon or she's got young children that she has custody of.

[vonerik012]

Yes, I guess he would not pick a woman in that situation..

 

All the studies show that the older men get, the bigger the age difference between them and their next wife becomes (for the younger) so I do not know whom they are marrying.

[soserious1]

Yes, I guess he would not pick a woman in that situation..

 

All the studies show that the older men get, the bigger the age difference between them and their next wife becomes (for the younger) so I do not know whom they are marrying.

 

There's a couple factors at play here

 

There are a pretty fair number of divorced baby boomers who are in LTR with

age peers ie: people within 1-3 yrs , these folks are committed but they aren't counted in these surveys.. these people have ZERO interest in getting married again.

 

As you have very aptly noted one must make trade off's.. in my situation, if I were to meet a 43 yr old who otherwise met my requirements, I'd have to bend my stance mostly likely to allow for the fact that he has older teenaged children.if he's in excellent health, humourous and physically active that might be a trade off worth making, A 57 yr old expressing interest in me is more than likely going to have at least one ongoing health concern.. but if he also had a great wine cellar, loved fine dining and travel and was socially active, that might be a trade off worth making as well.

 

An older man marrying a much younger woman is also going to have to bend, most likely around the issue of kids, she's either going to want babies or she's going to have young pre-existing kids that the guy is going to have to pay for/help raise. My 57 yr old friend in the process of being divorced by his 43 yr old second wife made such a trade off.. he's now got 5 kids, the youngest aged 3.

[Tomcat33]

It's no different than listening to a KKK speech or any other type of 'ism - it's just pure drivel and becomes white noise.

 

 

 

Hey bitcheees I'm back!

 

That's so true it is very much akin to listening to a KKK member make a complete ass of themselves. Their level of ridculousness is so out there that it becomes a circus! The thing is in real life these types of men are just scared puppy dogs. That's another thing us "older broads" have, the abilty to see right through the nonsense.

 

Vonerik, of what I have read, your comments are drier than mummy spit. When you mature into a nice adult you will have a lot more to offer and in turn a lot more to gain.

[Jersey Shortie]

Then do that.. You don't like older men obviously.. But you are insulted if younger men do not like you? makes no sense at all.

 

 

Errr, aren't you basically saying the same thing. Pot meet kettle.

 

When you mature into a nice adult you will have a lot more to offer and in turn a lot more to gain.

 

Tomcat, you come out with some really intelligent stuff that is well worded.

[nowhereman82]

I'll post my face if you post yours..

 

What is great about this forum is that it is anonymous..

 

If you're not sure if the older woman that you like is into younger men.. you just need to approach her and talk to her.. simple.. just like any other women... they don't bite.. if she's not interested.. she'll let you know in a nice polite way.. no big deal..

 

But I am warning you: this could be DANGEROUS!!!!! you might never ever want to date a younger girl after her... they are addictive..

 

So you ARE warned.. sweetie..

 

Must of missed it, had it posted for one day! Well maybe half of one, haha. I might hold you to that though....

[vonerik012]

Tomcat, do you ever have an opinion on a thread, or just pick on mine?

 

If I was so off base, I am sure you would not be so offended.

[Tomcat33]

Tomcat, do you ever have an opinion on a thread, or just pick on mine?

 

If I was so off base, I am sure you would not be so offended.

 

 

Yeah, I gave my opinion on the second page, and no I don't just pick on you I picked on Art Critic's post too!

 

I'm not offended by your comments because I don't sleep with younger men nor do I have the desire to, it's not my thing. And your comments are not ALL off base some are pretty much on point. But other comments I disagree with. It just so happens you are the only one that has the extremist point of view so naturally you will attract more attention.

But you know that already.

 

Tomcat, you come out with some really intelligent stuff that is well worded.

 

Thanks JS. ;-)

[CaliGuy]

ok, what do we think about a 31 year old woman dating an 18 year old man?

 

Umm more power to the guy. He might learn a thing or two....

[nowhereman82]

This topic and Lizzie have inspired me to focus on older women for awhile.

 

I meet all kinds of older attractive women working. Think it would be a great opportunity to have some fun and not worry about anything long term

 

I will post some updates when I get a bite

[D-Lish]

Umm more power to the guy. He might learn a thing or two....

 

And that's why I like you... You look at things for what they are, and don't look to pass judgements or hurl unnecessary insults.

 

Look, when it comes down to it- physical attraction isn't universal.

People like what they like.

 

Some people in their 30's, 40's, 50's look freaking great- some look like my grandparents. Some 20 year olds have had more McDonalds and doritos than is necessary and that won't work for potential suitors either.

 

It's all relative. Who cares!

People should be able to date whomever they want to date- as long as it's legal.

 

Maybe Anna nicole Smith really did love her Billionaire 106 year old husband.

 

Ashton certainly seems to love Demi.

 

Whatever- people can look run down and undesireable at any age, and conversely people can continue to look good as they get older.

 

V- if you don't like older chicks- don't date 'em. But why bother bashing them.

[CaliGuy]

And that's why I like you... You look at things for what they are, and don't look to pass judgements or hurl unnecessary insults.

 

I thought it was for my sexy buns?!!!

 

Look, when it comes down to it- physical attraction isn't universal.

People like what they like.

 

Some people in their 30's, 40's, 50's look freaking great- some look like my grandparents. Some 20 year olds have had more McDonalds and doritos than is necessary and that won't work for potential suitors either.

 

It's all relative. Who cares!

People should be able to date whomever they want to date- as long as it's legal.

 

Maybe Anna nicole Smith really did love her Billionaire 106 year old husband.

 

Ashton certainly seems to love Demi.

 

Whatever- people can look run down and undesireable at any age, and conversely people can continue to look good as they get older.

 

V- if you don't like older chicks- don't date 'em. But why bother bashing them.

 

Live and let live. I don't care if an 18 year old man is dating a 35 year old woman or a 39 year old man is dating a 22 year old , all that matters is how they feel about each other.

 

Many are quick to judge......few are quick to understand.

 

What does it matter to others who is dating whom?!? You shouldn't live your life worried about others' approval. All you need is your own.

[vonerik012]

D-lish...

 

 

Now read what most men on here have said ....

 

"Would be great to have some fun and not think of anything long term"

 

"I would like to pursue random flings with older women"

 

"Age is important in a relationship, but not just for fun"

 

Many of you are getting the completely wrong idea of what I am saying. Ask Cali guy if his target market is women 7 - 10 years older for a relationship or marriage. probably not.

 

If you just want fun, sex, etc there is nothing wrong with it at all. I am just trying to clue women in on how men think. Men can be very sex driven, but men younger than you are not the vest candidates for a marriage or long term love. thats all.

[vonerik012]

But to address the original thread, many 18 year old guys just finished high school, and were dating 16 -17 year old girls.

 

 

When I was 21, I went from dating 18 year old girls, to a 24 year old girl. The age difference was huge in my mind, at that point in my life. So a 31 year old is borderline ridiculous..

[CaliGuy]

Many of you are getting the completely wrong idea of what I am saying. Ask Cali guy if his target market is women 7 - 10 years older for a relationship or marriage. probably not.

 

Nope. But I also won't date women who don't share similar goals and values that I do. So age to me is less important than WHO she is.

[melodymatters]

D-lish...

 

 

Now read what most men on here have said ....

 

"Would be great to have some fun and not think of anything long term"

 

"I would like to pursue random flings with older women"

 

"Age is important in a relationship, but not just for fun"

 

Many of you are getting the completely wrong idea of what I am saying. Ask Cali guy if his target market is women 7 - 10 years older for a relationship or marriage. probably not.

 

If you just want fun, sex, etc there is nothing wrong with it at all. I am just trying to clue women in on how men think. Men can be very sex driven, but men younger than you are not the vest candidates for a marriage or long term love. thats all.

 

 

Ok the 40 yr old woman with the 24 yr old fiance is finally chiming in here ! He keeps asking me when we're going to the courthouse, but lifes just been too hectic lately.

 

Not saying it would work for everyone, but he's been supporting himself since 13, while I have parents that STILL " gift" me on occasion. I still have many interests that could be considered " teenagey" ie: watching music videos online, smoking weed.

 

So, whatever, it works for us. This is apparently ONE case in which your theory is wrong von !

 

cheers !

[Shygirl15]

I'm not saying he doesn't love you, but could it also be that he's looking for a mother figure for himself? Does supporting himself from 13 means he had no family to look after him? I mean 13 is pretty young for someone to support themselves..

 

Anyway, all the best to you!