confused and broken Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 I don't know what possessed me but I relapsed and texted him... He called me right away saying he still thinks we are a good match.. but I just have to work on my issues and he was sorry blah blah blah... He wanted to see me right away but I couldn't and so he said contact me when you have time so I sent him another text and he hasn't replied this is ridiculous........... I am sooo confused my god I feel so much worse I am so lost why is life so tricky I excel in everything except relationships and that is where I am terribly sucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 I can't believed 75 people viewed this message and no one had a response????? Link to post Share on other sites
A CHICK WITH TEETH Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Hi C&B....not sure if you wanted a response or was just venting. Also not sure if you want validation for what you did? I DO know how you feel though.........breaking NC almost ALWAYS sets you back. Keep posting though. It's helping me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 Ok so as I mentioned before I texted him on Monday like he asked me to asking if he had plans for this week and he never replied.... Its like FU*(K how hard is it to text back... and I notice some of my other friends are like this as well.... They say they want to hang out but you never hear from them.... and then they miss you blah blah blah.... WHY this is why I broke up with him to begin with... and when we talked on the phone this time he called me a bad communicator... well let me see he can't even return a text AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... YEs I aM extremely frusterated Link to post Share on other sites
A CHICK WITH TEETH Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 And if he isn;t even making the effort to change NOW...do you think he will? Not to be negative...but it kinda puts things in perspective, you know? I know it's frustrating...but if this has been a long standing problem and it is causing issues, then you need to accept this is the way he IS.....(cause only HE can change it) and accept it...or decide it is something YOU can't live with. I used to have this problem with an ex. He was ALWAYS late....no matter what. It used to drive me up the wall.Finally I just decided to start just planning on arriving 30 minutes later than I said I would be there. I stopped nagging him and I wasn't annoyed anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 Any DECENT human being would have texted back saying "I don't know I am busy this week" OR whatever the F*&K BUT AS I ALREADY KNEW HE IS NOT A DECENT HUMAN BEING..... so I want to get over him and the response is always run skip and jump... buy a vibrator eat chocolate and ice cream hang out with your friends... well personally I have started smoking again after having quit for two years and even that is not working Link to post Share on other sites
A CHICK WITH TEETH Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 C&B....I know you're upset.It is coming through in your posts. I wish I could pummel him for you.. but we know that's not an option. So what are your options? Allow him to control your emotions and feelings? Or take control of the situation and YOU determine the outcome. Easier said than done I know............but TELLING him he's not a decent human being isn't going to MAKE him one either. YOU are a decent human being, and you can only control you. The first step is to decide he is no longer going to be in your life.... and take it from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 C&B....I know you're upset.It is coming through in your posts. I wish I could pummel him for you.. but we know that's not an option. So what are your options? Allow him to control your emotions and feelings? Or take control of the situation and YOU determine the outcome. Easier said than done I know............but TELLING him he's not a decent human being isn't going to MAKE him one either. YOU are a decent human being, and you can only control you. The first step is to decide he is no longer going to be in your life.... and take it from there. Thanks I wish you could too... trust me Man I have made that decision so many times.... he's like a bad drug that I keep going back to... Link to post Share on other sites
A CHICK WITH TEETH Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Hahaha....girl read my posts......you are preaching to the choir here!!!! I'm right there with you. I just have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. We both can get through it....I know we can.. Link to post Share on other sites
Biker2007 Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 CB, I don't remember all the specifics of your story, but you said you did the breaking...correct? And now, you are only texting the guy. My x resorted to sending me texts...this is such a bad way to communicate. If you really want to communicate go see him and talk! Again, you did the breaking, so you need to make the effort. My .02 worth... Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 I don't know what possessed me Probably the phone is pocessed. You should get a new one:D Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 CB, I don't remember all the specifics of your story, but you said you did the breaking...correct? And now, you are only texting the guy. My x resorted to sending me texts...this is such a bad way to communicate. If you really want to communicate go see him and talk! Again, you did the breaking, so you need to make the effort. My .02 worth... He told me to call or text him though...... I can't just creep up on him and go see him... that would be weird Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 Probably the phone is pocessed. You should get a new one:D Yeah my phone is definitely possessed lol Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Just call him. If he doesn't answer, leave a message. That'll be an answer for you. I do have to say that texts are not 100% foolproof. Now if he has a history of not responding, then that's probably what he's doing now. But texting is not the way to go when you want to be certain that someone has gotten the message. Calling and leaving a message does 2 things - he'll see that he missed a call, and he'll have another notice that tells him he has a voicemail. Calling is more personal than a text anyway. If you have to leave a message, or if you talk to him, don't sound pissed off right off the bat. Just let him know that you texted him on Monday but now you're not quite sure he received it since they can be unreliable. Say, "I should've called anyway. Sorry about that....." etc. BTW, lots of smart, capable people can't make sense of the screwed up world of relationships. Not even most therapists or psychologists. So no need to feel like the Lone Ranger. Relationships are not about intelligence, they're about the crap (or non-crap) that goes on inside of us - what we believe about ourselves and life. Relationships seem to be a mirror image of those things. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Relationships are not about intelligence, they're about the crap (or non-crap). I love this! Its so true Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 Just call him. If he doesn't answer, leave a message. That'll be an answer for you. I do have to say that texts are not 100% foolproof. Now if he has a history of not responding, then that's probably what he's doing now. But texting is not the way to go when you want to be certain that someone has gotten the message. Calling and leaving a message does 2 things - he'll see that he missed a call, and he'll have another notice that tells him he has a voicemail. Calling is more personal than a text anyway. If you have to leave a message, or if you talk to him, don't sound pissed off right off the bat. Just let him know that you texted him on Monday but now you're not quite sure he received it since they can be unreliable. Say, "I should've called anyway. Sorry about that....." etc. BTW, lots of smart, capable people can't make sense of the screwed up world of relationships. Not even most therapists or psychologists. So no need to feel like the Lone Ranger. Relationships are not about intelligence, they're about the crap (or non-crap) that goes on inside of us - what we believe about ourselves and life. Relationships seem to be a mirror image of those things. I just talked to him and he has been busy blah blah.... but how do I know if I even want to do this....... Alot of other things in my life seem crystal clear I have a great job great place great car career goals good cook good baker great family lots of hobbies great friends and all of that makes sense but I'm lost when it comes to relationships lost lost lost Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 I just want someone to share my life with there is room in my life lots of it trust me so........... Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 I love this! Its so true yeah there about the crap but how do you know if there is too much crap Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 I think i want more but why do I keep going back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 I think what I really want to know is how do you know when its time to quit or time to keep trying Link to post Share on other sites
gd26 Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 I think what I really want to know is how do you know when its time to quit or time to keep trying Sometimes you just have to listen to your gut and inner wisdom.... not the desperate clingy child that resides within us.... but the intelligent, wise, responsible person that leads us in the right direction. Perhaps take some time to close your eyes and really look into this. What does your inner wisdom say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 28, 2008 Author Share Posted August 28, 2008 My inner wisdom says that I want someone in my life who is there for me and puts in equal effort... And I can not turn him into that person Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted August 28, 2008 Author Share Posted August 28, 2008 I think what happens with me is I know he is not the guy for me.... I wish he was but he's not but it turns into my other option is nothing And nothing seems to suck after a while and then I go back to not what I want but at least something I have no faith that I will ever meet Mr. right Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I think what happens with me is I know he is not the guy for me.... I wish he was but he's not but it turns into my other option is nothing And nothing seems to suck after a while and then I go back to not what I want but at least something I have no faith that I will ever meet Mr. right Its easier to go back to something comfortable than to venture into the unknown. Let's face it, the first 1-2 dates are usually a little awkward and you dont have any level of comfort. With an ex, you bypass all that. But its really a waste of your time. The more time you waste with him, the less time youre out there meeting some one else. If you know hes not the one, move on. Life is too short. If there is one thing I've learned from relationships is that people do NOT change. Sometimes the person you fell in love with isnt the person you ended up with. Link to post Share on other sites
Mending1985 Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I think you're a bit like me, you know it isn't right for you, he isn't good for you, but you don't want to totally break away because then you're ALONE. And that's a f*cking scary thought... Link to post Share on other sites
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