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addiction to deal with trauma


breakupunderachiever

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breakupunderachiever

i have been addicted to the same guy for six years. we met when i was 22 and had just moved out of home to get away from my abusive mother (she has schizophrenia). the last couple of years have been tough. my primary school aged brothers were stuck with my abusive mum so i have had to go back into that environment weekly in order to stay close to them.

 

our on again off again relationship has been terrible. he has been unwilling to get a job. binge drinks his way into strange locations the following day and doesn't know how he got there. is totally subservient to his extended family which is totally dysfunctional - mine is too but i don't LIVE with them or double as their butler!!!!

 

i am 28 now. have finished my degree. have a good job. i have taken custody of my brothers who are 14 and 16 now. i want to make a life and move on from this destructive relationship. i am scared that i can't.

 

i don't want to go back to him or the pain he caused me. i have good friends. but i am scared that in a weak moment anxiety will overtake me and i'll fold. it's been ten days since we spoke and that's the longest in a while. can i keep it up?

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