How good of a person do you think you are?

[GrnEyedGemini]

Now as far as if I think I am a good person or not...I dont think I can really answer that question. I am younger than most here, I guess. I am 23. So I am still finding out what and who I am. I feel like I still have a lot to learn. But overall, I think I am a good person. At least I try to be.

 

There are things going on in my life right now that really make me question what I do and what my motives really are. I question if what I feel is right really is right. It's weird, I guess because all of this self-discovery is so new to me. I'm even questioning whether the way I was raised was really the right way or it just seems right because that's all I know. At this point in my life, can I really answer that question with complete honesty? I feel like I haven't experienced enough to know whether I am truely a good person or not. I know I have my selfishness tendencies, but doesn't everybody? Or do they not? I am the nicest person to most people, but to some people I am a total b!tch by choice....does that affect if I am a good person? Does a good person have to be nice to everybody? I have things in my head and heart that I believe are right/wrong morally, but because someone close to me is hurting and hating me because of my stance on my morals, does that make it right? Or good? I hold grudes against people that hurt me. But I also do eventually forgive and forget. Does that affect my judgement of whether I am a good person? I just don't know.

 

What do ya'll think? Am I just at the stage where I am learning about myself and that is why I am so confused as to whether I am a good person or not? Or is it that I am not but am trying to make excuses for myself to make myself feel better? Lol...I like this thread but now you got me thinking....

[Kasan]

This is very subjective...

 

I know I am a good person.. but for others, here, I'm a very bad, evil, person.

 

 

Now this brings up an interesting point. If you judge people does it make you a good person?

 

Where would this fit on Mustang Sally's list of criteria?

[Touche]

Touche, Touche!!!

Heck, where is that accent grave or whatever?

 

I just do this - touche'.

 

Kasan, we all judge people. So maybe we're all bad people.

[marlena]

I just do this - touche'.

 

 

Ok! I'll just do the same! Who gives a crap about accent grave or vertigule or whatever they are called?

 

Hey, where are Lizzie and Kamille when you need them most, huh???:)

[Ocean-Blue]

At this point, I'd say I'm a 3 or 4.

 

It's funny you ask this question, Sally...I was thinking about this myself (or have been for a while now). I realized that there is so much that isn't quite "right" with me.

 

Sometimes I feel like I'm lying to myself or others about who I really am...like I wear so many damn hats that I don't know who I am.

 

I've been trying to sort through my issues in the last year and I have seen *some* improvement.

 

My biggest problem seems to be that I'm so impulsive and extreme that it affects my ability to be consistent. One day I'm a sweetheart and a royal b1tch the next.

[The Collector]

I like, try to be good, because you know, being good feels kinda good, but then something bad looks really fun, and the next thing I know I'm doing the bad thing, but then after I feel a bit bad, so I try and be good again so I'm basically good I think. But sometimes bad.

 

The above describes me, and probably most people on this board who aren't deluded one way or another.

[Trialbyfire]

I have no aspirations towards 'selflessness'.

I couldn't agree more with this, although people do cloak self-interest in altruism, which can be disturbing.

[Lizzie60]

Ok! I'll just do the same! Who gives a crap about accent grave or vertigule or whatever they are called?

 

Hey, where are Lizzie and Kamille when you need them most, huh???:)

 

 

hahaha... for the accent grave you need a French keyboard I suppose.. and it's 'virgule'...

[Mustang Sally]

I am big into compassion and empathy. Understanding, acceptance, kindness.

Very worthy additions to the list of qualities to self-reflect on, Ronni.

Thanks for bringing these up.

[Mustang Sally]

I like, try to be good, because you know, being good feels kinda good, but then something bad looks really fun, and the next thing I know I'm doing the bad thing, but then after I feel a bit bad, so I try and be good again so I'm basically good I think. But sometimes bad.

 

The above describes me, and probably most people on this board who aren't deluded one way or another.

Thanks, Collector.

Good description, indeed.

[marlena]

hahaha... for the accent grave you need a French keyboard I suppose.. and it's 'virgule'...

 

I knew you'd come through for me!!!

[Mustang Sally]

Kasan, we all judge people. So maybe we're all bad people.

Thank you for making this point, Touche.

 

Here's another question (or several): Is judgement unequivocally bad? Do we really have no obligations to our fellow humans (and, ultimately to ourselves) to hold them to any sort of standard? Doesn't the judicial code do just this very thing? Does that make judicial code bad? Or is it necessary?

 

Rife with controversy, for sure.

[Lovelybird]

According to universal law, none of us can be called 'good person'

 

Everyone of us is dominated by universal laws, but many people don't believe that, it's like they don't believe in gravity, and jump from 20 floor and thinking 'it is ok, I don't believe in gravity'. That's why people have so many mental problems, depressions, because they do things against universal laws, and some laws are very subtle, you have to go into spirit and ask universe master about them

 

The sooner we learn the universal laws, the better we can get. Of course, we human being are so limited, but with Spirit anything is possible

[Trialbyfire]

Here's another question (or several): Is judgement unequivocally bad? Do we really have no obligations to our fellow humans (and, ultimately to ourselves) to hold them to any sort of standard? Doesn't the judicial code do just this very thing? Does that make judicial code bad? Or is it necessary?

 

Rife with controversy, for sure.

Well, there's no one on this Earth that doesn't make judgements, regardless of what they believe of themselves. Also, there are all sorts of societal codes we live by, whether they're enforceable in a legal fashion or through common courtesies.

 

With this in mind, either we're all good or all bad. You decide.

[j_hunt_12]

Well when you first popped that question I was thinking I am about a 7, but after I read your list I honestly would judge myself as a 4. There is a big part of me that thinks I am a perfect 10 and the most moral being on earth (my superego) which makes it hard to judge though. It is a hard question. I think everyone believes they are pretty high up - even the worst of people.

 

But anyways, good question. It is good to actually have to judge yourself in a non-biased manner. It is the only way to improve.

[underpants]

Thank you for making this point, Touche.

 

Here's another question (or several): Is judgement unequivocally bad? Do we really have no obligations to our fellow humans (and, ultimately to ourselves) to hold them to any sort of standard? Doesn't the judicial code do just this very thing? Does that make judicial code bad? Or is it necessary?

 

Rife with controversy, for sure.

 

Well, there's no one on this Earth that doesn't make judgements, regardless of what they believe of themselves. Also, there are all sorts of societal codes we live by, whether they're enforceable in a legal fashion or through common courtesies.

 

With this in mind, either we're all good or all bad. You decide.

 

Ahhh,

 

This sparked my mind.

 

*insert bad, bad, evil laugh*

 

I couldn't tell you how I rank on the goodness scale or if I even qualify.

 

What I can tell you that I have noticed. Unfortunately through experiences is that people come in all flavors. Most are good in my book.

 

With the tool of empathy I can, sometimes (most times, if I feel like it) gain trust and understanding into someone's core character.

 

Every once in a while you run across someone who is a (insert judgement) not so "good" person. In extreme cases these manipulative types will count on 'societal codes/common courtesies' to avoid accountability. If it wasn't so hurtful to their victims it would almost be comical.

 

I have been guilty of taking great delight in setting up a fall for those who are deliberately careless with others.

[Trialbyfire]

Every once in a while you run across someone who is a (insert judgement) not so "good" person. In extreme cases these manipulative types will count on 'societal codes/common courtesies' to avoid accountability. If it wasn't so hurtful to their victims it would almost be comical.

 

I have been guilty of taking great delight in setting up a fall for those who are deliberately careless with others.

Societal codes and rules of assorted kinds can create a fertile ground for the not so "good" person, to utilize passive-aggressive tactics in a malicious, manipulative manner. All you have to do is to watch LS for awhile, especially lately.

[Prodigal Princess]

I'm going to be honest. I'm a pretty amoral person. I dont have a problem lying, cheating, stealing etc to get my way. I havent dont anything like that in ages but it's only because I havent felt the need to. When I have done something 'wrong', I don't ever feel guilty. I'm probably a psychopath.

 

At the same time, I think anyone who knows me would be surprised to hear that. I come across as a loyal and generous friend, sister, daughter and colleague. But then again I really am only nice on the surface because its for my benefit that Im not a heinous bitch to those that support me. I can empathise with people but I only truly care about myself.

 

I never go out of my way to hurt others but if it happens to occur and I'm not negatively affected I don't really care. I live entirely out of self interest. I will never change, although I'm thankful that most people aren't like me - otherwise society would have imploded by now!

[underpants]

I'm going to be honest. I'm a pretty amoral person. I dont have a problem lying, cheating, stealing etc to get my way. I havent dont anything like that in ages but it's only because I havent felt the need to. When I have done something 'wrong', I don't ever feel guilty. I'm probably a psychopath.

 

At the same time, I think anyone who knows me would be surprised to hear that. I come across as a loyal and generous friend, sister, daughter and colleague. But then again I really am only nice on the surface because its for my benefit that Im not a heinous bitch to those that support me. I can empathise with people but I only truly care about myself.

 

I never go out of my way to hurt others but if it happens to occur and I'm not negatively affected I don't really care. I live entirely out of self interest. I will never change, although I'm thankful that most people aren't like me - otherwise society would have imploded by now!

 

 

I feel you.

 

However, my sparkplug of psycho/socio pathic behavior is usually not in my own self interest (my flaw), but in the unsolicited cry of the mistreatment of others.

 

It is really just an excuse to be bad.

[RecordProducer]

I think I'm somewhere between a 6.5 to 7.5 lately.

I really think that people can't be objective about this. Excellent question, but futile in most cases. The higher one thinks of themselves the more likely s/he is a complete jerk, but is convinced they are good. Many people totally forget about their bad traits, justify their lies with all kinds of excuses, and only compare themselves to the worst scumbags so that they appear as angels in their own eyes.

 

For example, when I don't keep my word (I have my own deep reasons, of course), my husband says I am a liar; and when he doesn't keep his word (for selfish reasons, IMO), it's my fault, cuz I did something to cause him to not keep his word. Or if he lied, he says he had a motive NOT to hurt someone or couldn't tell the truth because I would use it against him in arguments.

 

For example, I told him about three weeks ago "If you go dancing by yourself, find someone else to accompany you at the gatherings with your friends and family." He didn't go dancing that week and the following day, he asked me if I would go with him to some picnic. I said "yes." Well the next week, he went dancing again and the next day I said I wasn't going to the upcoming picnic. And he said I didn't keep my word, when in fact I did keep my word.

 

Al Capone once said (slightly improvised): "My whole life I've been helping people and done nothing but good - and all I've received from people is resentment and punishment."

 

When people do something wrong, they are convinced that there is a universal reason that justifies their actions. When a mortgage broker rips off some innocent people with a bad credit, he is convinced that he is doing it for a good cause: to send his kids to college and provide them with a good future. In his eyes, he is not a greedy shark (rating: 1) - he is a fantastic husband and father (rating: 10).

[RecordProducer]

I'm going to be honest. I'm a pretty amoral person. I dont have a problem lying, cheating, stealing etc to get my way. I havent dont anything like that in ages but it's only because I havent felt the need to. When I have done something 'wrong', I don't ever feel guilty. I'm probably a psychopath.

 

At the same time, I think anyone who knows me would be surprised to hear that. I come across as a loyal and generous friend, sister, daughter and colleague. But then again I really am only nice on the surface because its for my benefit that Im not a heinous bitch to those that support me. I can empathise with people but I only truly care about myself.

 

I never go out of my way to hurt others but if it happens to occur and I'm not negatively affected I don't really care. I live entirely out of self interest. I will never change, although I'm thankful that most people aren't like me - otherwise society would have imploded by now!

Wow! Are you serious about this or is this some kind of joke? Because if you're serious, it's a total eye opener: it means that all the liars and cheaters ARE aware that they're doing harm to people, but they just don't feel compassion.

 

On the other hand, your honesty and self-awareness of "only care about myself" is surprising. I always thought that people try to justify their actions before themselves; I never thought that they feel they are bad, but don't care.

 

PP, are you sure this is not just something that has been injected in your mind since you were a child, like repeated a million times by your (step) parents? You don't sound bad to me, so perhaps you used to lie and cheat just to justify somebody else's opinion of you! Maybe somebody who was supposed to love you, guide you, and protect you told you that you were too bad to be loved; and you accepted that you were not loved for a good reason, because you trusted them.

[Prodigal Princess]

Wow! Are you serious about this or is this some kind of joke? Because if you're serious, it's a total eye opener: it means that all the liars and cheaters ARE aware that they're doing harm to people, but they just don't feel compassion.

 

On the other hand, your honesty and self-awareness of "only care about myself" is surprising. I always thought that people try to justify their actions before themselves; I never thought that they feel they are bad, but don't care.

 

PP, are you sure this is not just something that has been injected in your mind since you were a child, like repeated a million times by your (step) parents? You don't sound bad to me, so perhaps you used to lie and cheat just to justify somebody else's opinion of you! Maybe somebody who was supposed to love you, guide you, and protect you told you that you were too bad to be loved; and you accepted that you were not loved for a good reason, because you trusted them.

 

I am deadly serious.

 

I think I might be different in that most people when they do something "bad", they feel the need to rectify it or justify it. I don't. It's not that I don't "feel compassion", as you say - I just choose not to act on that feeling unless it's in my own self interest to do so.

 

And I had the best upbringing possible - my parents are fabulous (and still sickly sweet to each other, urgh ) and I always felt (and still feel) loved and supported. It has nothing to do with upbringing. It's just the way I've always been. I think my parents would be aghast if they knew of some of the things I've done, but at the same time they are pretty forgiving and not exactly moral crusaders themselves.

 

I think there are a lot more people out there like me who are just not honest enough to admit things like they despise charity or would kill someone for money. I take life itself very lightly so none of this matters to me in the slightest. Its a lot easier this way to be unabashedly hedonistic.

[Taramere]

Altruism

Honesty

Work Ethic

Spirituality

Selflessness

Honor

Contentedness/Happiness

 

Oh God. Straight away I glance over this and think "I'm not a very good person."

 

I can be altruistic, but only if I feel like it. I'm as capable of walking past a beggar without a shred of guilt as I am of stopping and talking to them. I really don't enjoy doing things out of a sense of duty - and someone trying to instil a sense of guilt or duty into me is the fastest way to get the worst out of me. I help for what ever reason I want to. Usually because it would make me happy to see the other person happier and/or because I think it will be interesting to try to help them solve a problem. Or it can just be the urge for human interaction. Some kind of instinctive response.

 

Honesty - hmmm. I'm honest insofar as I don't lie about who I am to make myself look better socially, and I'm usually honest with the people I care about. I can often be quite secretive, though, and there are times I've lied about things because I didn't want people I cared about to worry over me - and ultimately caused more harm by doing that. That's something I've been working very hard on in recent months.

 

Work ethic. I can be incredibly hard-working when I'm absorbed in a task. I can work round the clock and turn in something really good...but if I'm given something I find dull I'll procrastinate, be a bit passive aggressive and eventually turn in something utterly mediocre at best. I've got to feel passionate about my work, and unfortunately passion for your work isn't always something that's encouraged. I'll never forget one boss asking me how I'd felt about a particular project I'd worked on. I said "it was a lot of fun" and he roared "it's not meant to be fun. It's WORK!!"

 

Spirituality. I'm not religious. I believe I have a spirit, but it's mine not God's.

 

Selflessness. No.

 

Honor. Honour! With people and animals, yes. I'm not very honourable when it comes to large, a-moral corporations. I'll be honourable if I'm dealing with them as a consultant or an employee. Less honourable if I'm dealing with them as a customer. That's something I should probably work on, but I'd need a reason more compelling than "being a better person."

 

Contedness/Happiness. As long as I'm not under a lot of stress or in the company of people I don't really gel with, then I'm usually quite contented and happy.

 

Also, because I know I've got lots of flaws, I'm usually quite forgiving when other people mess up, and I don't tend to hold grudges or (usually) engage in vengeful action.

 

Prodigal Princess - you're a psychopath? I think you should start up a thread about this. I'd like to hear from more people who think they're psychopaths!

[Woggle]

I may come across as a big jerk on the outside but deep down I really am a good guy. People who know me that I will give them the shirt off my back and I will drop what I am doing to help somebody. There was a time in my life when I tried not to be this way but it's just who I am. I am far from an angel but I do have my scruples.

[Mustang Sally]

I really think that people can't be objective about this. Excellent question, but futile in most cases. The higher one thinks of themselves the more likely s/he is a complete jerk, but is convinced they are good. Many people totally forget about their bad traits, justify their lies with all kinds of excuses, and only compare themselves to the worst scumbags so that they appear as angels in their own eyes.

I hear you, RP.

And, in fact, that was one of the points of my starting the thread in the first place....

 

But I do beg to differ from you in that I don't think everyone is incapable of any objective insight. On the contrary, I think some of the responses to this thread clearly support that there are, indeed, some that DO have some significant objective personal insight.

 

And I will continue to maintain that, though it is difficult to be objective about one's own "Goodness" vs "Badness," it does not invalidate the personal growth and benefit that can occur if one makes repeated, periodic honest attempts to do just that. Hence another point of my starting the thread.

 

Again. I have found this an interesting Rorschach, of sorts, for all who have taken the time to respond.

When people do something wrong, they are convinced that there is a universal reason that justifies their actions. When a mortgage broker rips off some innocent people with a bad credit, he is convinced that he is doing it for a good cause: to send his kids to college and provide them with a good future. In his eyes, he is not a greedy shark (rating: 1) - he is a fantastic husband and father (rating: 10).

See above. I do not believe that ALL people respond precisely this way, but perhaps in varying degrees of what you have described above. We are, after all, imperfect beings.

 

I also believe that it is a worthy (nay, even obligatory) endeavor, as humans, to hold ourselves to a higher standard of behaviour than merely satisfying what is best for our own interests in a given situation.

 

That being said, I do not believe that I even approximate achieving this lofty goal in the most complete manner as I am capable of. But it is something that I need to continue to value, and keep working towards and improving upon. Just my take on things.