Penthouse magazines

[Jersey Shortie]

This has nothing to do with you.. and for your own sake, I think you should just leave him alone.. your jealousy will drive him crazy and away from you...

 

 

 

His porn use is already driving her away. You could just as equally advocate that he put the porn down. For his own sake, maybe he should leave the porn alone.

[Lovelybird]

I think this is normal.. most men love these magazines.. most men are visual and love to see women with large breasts... and lingerie..

 

This has nothing to do with you.. and for your own sake, I think you should just leave him alone.. your jealousy will drive him crazy and away from you...

 

Just let them enjoy his magazines.. it's better than actually going to strip clubs to see the real thing... plus erotic literature is very arousing.. you should read them too..

you are brainwashed by men, their excuses you totally buy, like a slave of men's excuses in order to please men

 

seems like you try to be a confident woman, but still you are a slave of men's lust, a sand goes where the tide takes you

[Lizzie60]

you are brainwashed by men, their excuses you totally buy, like a slave of men's excuses in order to please men

 

seems like you try to be a confident woman, but still you are a slave of men's lust, a sand goes where the tide takes you

 

not at all.. I love porn.. always did.. my last ex loved it too.. I never felt threatened by it.. but I can see that, coming from you... I'm a slave of men's lust..

[LakesideDream]

not at all.. I love porn.. always did.. my last ex loved it too.. I never felt threatened by it.. but I can see that, coming from you... I'm a slave of men's lust..

 

Lizzie, I am totally lost. When did Penthouse become pornography in the "real world". Maybe if you live in an Amish community.......

 

I'm so glad I'm old enough to not give a damn....

[mrsT]

I am resurrecting this from the dead. Cassnadra, it may be "normal" but it is not right. Like it is normal for people to keep extra change when cashiers make a mistake. It is "normal," it is "dishonest," and it is "wrong."

 

Pornography dehumanizes people; those pictured, those looking at it, and those selling it.

[reddog63]

I recall years back my brother had to hide his playboy magazines in the trunk of his car because his wife so adament about it being wrong. I could not see myself married to someone who has a problem with a magazine like penthouse.

 

Hey, that is how I learned......my dad had a stack of magizines in his work van. They are great for sex education...lol.

 

I agree with moderation.........but this is fairly tame.

 

If I had to pick one characteristic of women to change, I would wish they would not be so insecure.

 

OP........why dont you open your mind.......get a bottle of wine and you and hubby read some of those stories together.........that should make for an intersting night of fun. He would be so turned on and love you more for it.

[Jersey Shortie]

There is something we wish to experience in life that we normal can't. This is why we read, watch, or listen to the things we do. Can some take it too far? Yes. But, we are talking about normal things people do to make life even much more bearable. As a matter of fact, if it were not for fantasies, we would be some very bored and miserable creatures.

 

I do agree. But it's for that reason, the reason of fantasy being something someone wished they had that they don't, that makes so many women miserable. The message 1)She is not what he wants when compared to the pefect able bodied women in porn 2) She will never be womanly enough to please him. 3) No matter what she does, there is an elmeant of him that will always want a 21 year old getting it from behind.

 

Now to be harsh and real... Maybe if some men and women would be a freak in the bedroom, I mean like some of the women in the porn movies or stories, maybe the man or woman who need to turn to porn to fulfill that side will be less inclined to turn to other things like porn.

 

Should that also include the physical? Maybe men wouldn't turn to porn if more women looked like the surgically enhanced and contrived images in porn? Maybe more women should get surgery to please the fantasy ideal so that a maan doesn't turn to porn?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I could not see myself married to someone who has a problem with a magazine like penthouse.

 

I could not see myself marrried to a man that thought his porn was so important to warrent hiding it and lying about it. But that's just me.

 

If I had to pick one characteristic of women to change, I would wish they would not be so insecure.

 

If I had to pick one for men, I wish they would try to be more caring and understanding.

[reddog63]

I could not see myself marrried to a man that thought his porn was so important to warrent hiding it and lying about it. But that's just me.

 

 

 

If I had to pick one for men, I wish they would try to be more caring and understanding.

 

 

Men lie and hide stuff like that only because they do not want to hear the arguments over it. Women do the same .....for example, hiding how much money she spent shopping knowing her husband asked her to curb her spending. We all do this, this is not unique to men. Hide/tell white lies to avoid confrontation.

 

As far as men being more caring, your actually asking that men become more femine in thinking...........then when they do, they are too nice and boring and you want a "bad boy" type...........men can not win here.

[rainfall]

If I had to pick one characteristic of women to change, I would wish they would not be so insecure.

 

OP........why dont you open your mind.......get a bottle of wine and you and hubby read some of those stories together.........that should make for an intersting night of fun. He would be so turned on and love you more for it.

 

Not liking porn has nothing to do with being insecure. Men always throw this out there so that way the problem with porn can be placed on the women. They never stop to think that they are the one with the problem because they have to fanstasize about other people besides their partner.

 

Her husband would love her more because she is ok with him wanting to sleep with other people. How sweet.

[lonelyandfrustrated]

I wonder how many men would put down porn forever if they saw a spread of their own 18-yr-old daughter, or a homemade video online of her getting it in the rear from one guy while sucking off another.

 

I just wonder.

[morelaugh]

Not liking porn has nothing to do with being insecure. Men always throw this out there so that way the problem with porn can be placed on the women. ...

 

Her husband would love her more because she is ok with him wanting to sleep with other people. How sweet.

I tend to agree.

Demanding what you want (whatever that is) shows more self esteem than putting up with things just to please someone else.

 

A large percentage of men on this forum, routinely accuses women of being insecure when they express their completely legitimate desires. Translated to male terms it would be something like: You want anal? Why are you so insecure?

[Jersey Shortie]

You want anal? Why are you so insecure?

 

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao: Pretty much.

[LucreziaBorgia]

That wouldn't work or be accurate. Men aren't insecure about what they see as absurdities. If you want to really hit a man hard in the way that you feel hit hard, then you will need to find a way to insinuate that his penis isn't big enough for you and that you feel that someone else might give you a better orgasm.

 

Men aren't insecure about pictures and porn like women are. Now... bring penis size or the ability to please into the picture and you are getting closer.

 

Now, I wouldn't suggest actually trying it. You might get your man feeling insecure, but he will also be angry and hit you in a place where men seem to be immune: promiscuity. I suspect you would get called 'whore' or 'slut' or something along those lines, or there would be some sort of 'loose' comment thrown around.

[sxyNYCcpl]

Let me try to explain the insecurity thing, as I believe most objections to partners using porn are rooted in insecurity.

 

For someone to object to porn, they must feel that porn in some way, is either indicative of, or could ultimately become the cause of their SO wanting to actually replace them with another woman. "If they watch those other women, it's because that's what they really want, not me." Or "If they watch those other women, eventually they'll lose interest in me."

 

In order to have negative thoughts along those lines requires that the person not be completely happy about who she is. A woman who has confidence that her husband won't be trying to replace her won't be spending time worrying about it.

[Jersey Shortie]

Some issues with porn *ARE* rooted in insecurity...SOME. You can't have the type of industry of porn, that feeds the type of stereotypes about women that it does, and not expect it to have some effect. Lets realistically look at the messages and images women and men are fed about themselves and the other gender and then ask us if it's so far fetched to have insecurities.

 

Am I saying you should stay rooted in insecurity. No. But you can't have the opposite sex exploiting the natural insecurities of one gender and not expect a reaction. Porn can easily exploit the things that women already question about how they fit the standards men have. And there are things that equally are questioned by men for the standards women might have of men. How many women have you ever heard complain about a man wanting her for her money over how many men. *THAT* is also insecurity. So yes, sometimes porn is about insecurity. But porn is also about how women are belitted and devalued.

 

You want confident women? Try being on their side, emotionally and physically. Try building them up instead of tearing them down and then turning your back on them and saying they are "just insecure".

 

The irony is that when it comes to porn, I really think men end up shooting themselves in the foot. You want your woman to be more confident? Build her up. You want her to be more wild? Looking at 18 yar olds having a threesom ain't gonna do it. You want her to not feel bad about her pudgy normal body and just have and enjoy sex? Don't entertain images of 20 year old pornstars with fake boobs. Acknowledge as a human being that you have an affect on your partner as she does on you. Don't degrade their gender and then turn around and point a finger at how they are "insecure". Don't defend a medium that is made of of 20 year old implanted barbie types that cater to men's every whim and then wonder why she gee, actually might be insecure. Don't buy into a stereotype of female beauty that she probably struggles with everyday to not buy into herself. It's not rocket science.

 

 

A man who has the confidence to put something down that he claims isn't all that important anyway will win the respect of many women.

[sxyNYCcpl]

Some issues with porn *ARE* rooted in insecurity...SOME.

 

I believe when you ignore those whose fundamentalist religious beliefs have them objecting on those grounds, the overwhelming majority of having issues with porn is absolutely rooted in insecurity. Without insecurity, porn can not possibly be threatening.

 

You can't have the type of industry of porn, that feeds the type of stereotypes about women that it does, and not expect it to have some effect. Lets realistically look at the messages and images women and men are fed about themselves and the other gender and then ask us if it's so far fetched to have insecurities.

 

I've seen you routinely rant against young, super attractive porn actresses as a valid reason to be anti-porn. As I've said, I personally prefer amateur porn partially for the reasons you object to physical perfection amongst actresses, but this discussion is not about me.

 

Porn is certainly not the only place in our society where unrealistic youth and perfection is portrayed as the norm. Just take your average cop show compared to real cops regardless of gender.

 

I look nothing like your average male underwear model, but I am not even remotely concerned that my lovely bride will be leaving me for one of them, even if she does like looking at them.

 

Porn can easily exploit the things that women already question about how they fit the standards men have. And there are things that equally are questioned by men for the standards women might have of men.

 

Actually, no. There is no stereotype, no six-pack, no bank account, no anaconda sized unit on the planet that would lead me to be concerned about the status of my relationship. It seems to me you cannot say the same.

 

But porn is also about how women are belitted and devalued.

 

Men are participating in porn, too. How is sex on film belittling to women but not men?

 

Don't degrade their gender and then turn around and point a finger at how they are "insecure".

 

Repetitive, I know, but how does it degrade only one gender?

 

Don't defend a medium that is made of of 20 year old implanted barbie types that cater to men's every whim and then wonder why she gee, actually might be insecure.

 

If you're truly secure with your relationship, and truly trust your mate, then them being present while the porn is being filmed wouldn't be threatening, much less simply watching the resulting film. Hell, if you really trusted, you'd send them into the locker room of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders without a second thought.

[Mr. Lucky]

Don't buy into a stereotype of female beauty that she probably struggles with everyday to not buy into herself. It's not rocket science.

Jersey, I wonder why you continually place blame for the prominence of what you refer to as the "stereotype of female beauty" on men? There are deservedly many women in positions of power in all aspects of media, print and film. There are female publishers, editors, photographers and and decision makers. For example, many of the fashion magazines have a woman's name on the masthead. And yet they don't feature anymore realistic body types than Hugh Hefner does - if fact, if body mass is the defining characteristic, they make Playboy's models look absolutely mainstream. So why, in your mind, is this just another case of "the man" oppressing women ?

 

Mr. Lucky

[morelaugh]

Jersey, I wonder why you continually place blame for the prominence of what you refer to as the "stereotype of female beauty" on men? There are deservedly many women in positions of power in all aspects of media, print and film. There are female publishers, editors, photographers and and decision makers. For example, many of the fashion magazines have a woman's name on the masthead. And yet they don't feature anymore realistic body types than Hugh Hefner does - if fact, if body mass is the defining characteristic, they make Playboy's models look absolutely mainstream. So why, in your mind, is this just another case of "the man" oppressing women ?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

Many people make money out of it – men and women, no question about that.

 

But if men didn’t react the way they do to the "stereotype of female beauty", women would never want to look like that and the gold mine would't exist anymore.

[morelaugh]

That wouldn't work or be accurate.

quote]

I didn’t want to try and make men insecure (that ‘s not so hard).

I just pointed out that you can’t put insecurity label on everything you don’t like.

 

Let me try to explain the insecurity thing, as I believe most objections to partners using porn are rooted in insecurity.

 

For someone to object to porn, they must feel that porn in some way, is either indicative of, or could ultimately become the cause of their SO wanting to actually replace them with another woman. "If they watch those other women, it's because that's what they really want, not me." Or "If they watch those other women, eventually they'll lose interest in me."

 

In order to have negative thoughts along those lines requires that the person not be completely happy about who she is. A woman who has confidence that her husband won't be trying to replace her won't be spending time worrying about it.

I understand your point.

 

However, I can be very secure in my qualities and completely happy with who I am, still someone may still not like me, want me or find someone else better.

It happens all the time to everyone.

 

When you SO is so interested in looking at other women (especially if those women don’t look nothing like you), it must mean that, for his taste, they are better.

 

Let me emphasize that: It looks like HE would rather have sex with them.

It doesn’t mean a woman believes that every man would rather have them, it doesn’t mean SHE herself believes they are better (in fact, quite often, it is the opposite).

 

By looking at women, a man is showing HIS TASTE, not ours and not someone else’s.

 

Even if it IS about a fear that he will leave her for someone more to his taste (which is debatable), he can still leave her for someone BETTER TO HIM even if she and the rest of the world think otherwise.

 

It’s not that we are so scared that men will leave us for someone “better” – it’s more that they will stay with us wishing for someone “better”.

[Mr. Lucky]

Many people make money out of it – men and women, no question about that.

 

But if men didn’t react the way they do to the "stereotype of female beauty", women would never want to look like that and the gold mine would't exist anymore.

I think you sell women short in terms of their ability to define their own standards. And many of their standards are curiously like the "unrealistic" ones that Jersey claims that the "good ol' boys" network promotes...

 

Mr. Lucky

[morelaugh]

I think you sell women short in terms of their ability to define their own standards. And many of their standards are curiously like the "unrealistic" ones that Jersey claims that the "good ol' boys" network promotes...

 

Mr. Lucky

If you define a standard for yourself that makes you to develop an eating disorder or undergo a surgery for no medical reason whatsoever – there must be something wrong with the standard.

[Mr. Lucky]

If you define a standard for yourself that makes you to develop an eating disorder or undergo a surgery for no medical reason whatsoever – there must be something wrong with the standard.

I don't disagree. My point is that the notion that the standard is unique to porn and promulgated by males is flawed. Vogue magazine has long had female editors and staff and doesn't seem to be in a hurry to feature 200 lb. models. If porn went away tomorrow, it would not take with it the current cultural fascination with youth and beauty (for both men and women) that Jersey finds so oppressive. If one of the evils of porn is the oft cited "20 year old barbiedoll with implants", then how do you characterize the typical model featured in the female dominated fashion industry?

 

Mr. Lucky

[reddog63]

I will say......women do have it tough.

 

And what I mean is this: From being a small child to adulthood, women are bombarded by magazines, tv, music videos, tv adds, toys, etc showing for the most part, only beautiful women. So they grow up worrying if their ass is too big, do I look fat in these jeans, is my hair all right, are these shoes ok...........on and on. Men can understand this very well as it is universal.

 

So, you can not honestly say as some posters have, that there is not insecurity behind not wanting your man to look at porn. There may be other reasons, but deep down this is the main reason. And I am not talking about men talking it too far, this is in regards to the average man who may watch a video on occasion or subscribe to penthouse.

 

I applaud the women who posted who are secure enough not to let it bother them. They are secure enough in themselves not to take it as a threat. And just as a woman likes a confident man, men are more attracted to a confident woman.

 

For those who complain to their man, you would be much more attractive if you learned not to take it as a threat.

[rainfall]

 

So, you can not honestly say as some posters have, that there is not insecurity behind not wanting your man to look at porn. There may be other reasons, but deep down this is the main reason. And I am not talking about men talking it too far, this is in regards to the average man who may watch a video on occasion or subscribe to penthouse.

 

I applaud the women who posted who are secure enough not to let it bother them. They are secure enough in themselves not to take it as a threat. And just as a woman likes a confident man, men are more attracted to a confident woman.

 

For those who complain to their man, you would be much more attractive if you learned not to take it as a threat.

 

 

Again my reasons for hating porn have nothing to do with how I feel about myself. If a man is looking at other women imaging that he is having sex with them it is extremely insulting to his SO in my opinon. The fact that he would chooses pictures and/or videos over his partner is hurtful.

 

I don't see how compromising my beliefs would make me more attractive? If I was insecure I would just accept porn because I would think that I would never be good enough for a man to be happy without porn. If I accepted his porn use I would in my opinon only be weak and pathetic. (Now again if you are a women and you are ok with porn for whatever reason I am not calling you weak and pathetic.)

[sxyNYCcpl]

The fact that he would chooses pictures and/or videos over his partner is hurtful.

 

And IF he's doing that, you have a very valid reason to be upset. But if it's in ADDITION to instead of in LIEU of, that's a whole different situation.