Can't sleep, can't eat, can't concentrate. Someone talk some sense to me !

[Paralyzed]

Well, I haven't heard from my ex since Sunday night when she called looking for her things.

She drunk dialed me the night before, but I didn't answer it. When I dropped off her things Sunday evening I asked her if she had called me the night before. She looked somewhat embarrassed, and said yes. I asked her why and she said she just wanted to see how I was. She apologized for phoning.

We both apologized for the fight the previous Tuesday when we broke up. I did first of course. Her eyes almost filled up and she said she was sorry too. We hugged and kissed a little (major mistake) and I left.

Fast forward to 2 days later (this Tuesday). She had me removed and blocked on Facebook. Most likely because I wrote on a mutual friends wall that myself and another friend (who is female) would probably be coming up for a holiday to see him and some other friends.

My ex's cousin had posted some pictures on facebook the next day. I looked at the cousin's profile to see them and I noticed that my ex had written on her wall. I'm not sure why I could see what the ex had written, but, it said "Hey Cousin, I went on a coffee date tonight". My heart jumped into my throat, I was devastated. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. I tossed and turned the whole night. My heart raced and I felt like I was having a panic attack.

I know you are going to tell me to get off and stay off Facebook. But, I didn't bother since she had me blocked anyways. I didn't mean to see what she had written. Perhaps she had hoped I would see it, or perhaps she didn't think I would since I was blocked. I really don't know. But, I feel like I have been beaten with a stick.

I need a major pep talk from anyone and everyone today. Please help!!!

[glynnroy]

Hi there,i have got to say you sound like me...............I am too in search of answers to why we have broken up and I for soem reason always thougth there was another man involved physically.............I broke into her laptop the other day after she went out with my sister and she had a young guy ask her out,which she declined,I went searching on her laptop for more clues but there wasnt enough to justify her having an a fling with him.......................I rang her at work and confrunted her and well to be honest its knocked me back 4 months of healing,what an idiot............

 

My advice to you as I cant seem to do it my self is,stop looking for clues and answers and trying to find out what she is doing,you are wasiting far too much energy on this person instead of thinking about your self,it hurts like crazy when you love someone and they dont love you back,but I am trying again now to do the limited contact,whereby I dont want to know who she is with,what she is doing or anything...The hardest thing for me is that we are still good friends and I can thelp thinking that some where down the line we will get back together..............But you just cant think like that,terminate this relatuionship in your mind,move on,be cool abd enjoy the next 6 months while you can,as somewhere down the line you will be back in a relationship and your void will be filled.

[LateBloomer]

You've only gone back 4 months temporarily. You can get back quicker this time.

 

Work on yourself, bro.

 

- exercise

- keep a journal

- volunteer

- hang w/ friends and family

- get professional help if you're really stuck and disfunctional

- be ready to REALLY work on yourself

 

The new and improved you will attract a much better partner. I know, that sounds impossible, but it's TRUE!

 

When the storms hit, just hold on, it will pass. Develop constructive ways of holding on if you can.

 

Hang in there.

[glynnroy]

You've only gone back 4 months temporarily. You can get back quicker this time.

 

Work on yourself, bro.

 

- exercise

- keep a journal

- volunteer

- hang w/ friends and family

- get professional help if you're really stuck and disfunctional

- be ready to REALLY work on yourself

 

The new and improved you will attract a much better partner. I know, that sounds impossible, but it's TRUE!

 

When the storms hit, just hold on, it will pass. Develop constructive ways of holding on if you can.

 

Hang in there.

 

I dont want to jump on someone elses thread,but I am doing all the above except a diary,whats the advantages of this

[BCCA]

I dont want to jump on someone elses thread,but I am doing all the above except a diary,whats the advantages of this

 

Much like posting here, its very theraputic to write out how you feel. You can also write out qualities that you want in a partner, and things about yourself that you want to improve.

 

Lets face it, as much as everyone is willing to listen, there are some things its almost impossible to say outloud, and keeping a journal will not only let you say them, but you can keep track of your progress.

 

I knew some one who kept a journal for a year after his breakup, and going back to the first few days really put into perspective how badly this woman made him feel, and how much better off he is now.

[sfsassy]

When my last ex broke up with me I couldn't eat, sleep, and drank a bit more than I should. (I mean not dangereous levels, but just not quite healthy.) The thing that helped me the most was getting innvolved with this advocacy organization. It gave me something outside of myself and my personal problems to work on. For me journalling was ok, but a little too focused on me. I needed something to bring me out of myself. Within about three months I was eating and sleeping normally and within six months back to my regular drinking pattern. I think it will take time, doing stuff that you enjoy, and maybe seeing a professional. Although I would wait a few weeks to see how you are doing to do that. This sounds like a typical reaction to a breakup.

[sultry33]

allow yourself time to heal you will get there.. i barely ate or slept unless i was drunk during the first 3 weeks or so.. eventually you pick yourself up..

 

why stress it seems as if she is moving on already

im sorry to say that but a date so soon is really bad.. at least you will be working on yourself whilst she finds a block or rebound

 

im doing ok now some 6 months on and yes we are talking.. met up etc but im glad i didnt stay in bed an waste my life although i did wish i could stay there;)

 

get out and enjoy your life x

[yongyong]

Listen man,

 

Forget about your stupid emotion right now. follow logics people listed here.

 

it would be good for you and can make her come back at the same time.

 

If you look like sxxt when you meet her next time and tell her how your heart is broken and sxxt,

do you think she will feel sorry for you? you will realize how cruel someone who loved you, can be. and it will break your heart more.

[Ruff Ryder]

Well what can I tell you here over and above all this?

 

The coffe date thing - well start dating yourself... Get in shape look feel good take the above advise its the best you gonna get. Time will heal. We have all been there and felt that urge and pain but some people act out cause of it and others try to deal with it.

 

Personaly I take break ups hard I know I do so I put more effort into mysef after a serious break up. I just had one 8 weeks ago... I got stuck into training eating right and writing poems, I have not even posted here about my break up and thats cause Im dealing with it my way, I look and feel great I have been dating loads too (9 girls in 8 weeks) and number 10 tonight (im in South Africa).

 

So this is my advise and its the same as the rest LOOK AFTER YOU cause thats all you really have.... 2 things in life are certain....

 

1 - you gonna die

2 - you gonna get hurt - so make sure the people that hurt you are worth the pain if not walk away - this is about learning and growing mate not winning or losing....

 

If you want her back thats one thing but if you want to live and get someone better someone who deserves you, you need to let go and be ready for that...

 

Peace my friend good luck and yes it hurts like hell but its gets better day by day, no where to go but UP when you at the bottom.

 

Cheers