Dancing...How the heck do you slow dance?

[A wanderer]

Ok I go to possibly the most high academic school in the nation. For Pennsylvanians you may know it: Moravian Academy. But that's not it.

I have 2 questions. 1. How the heck do you slow dance? 2. Is it wise to tell my public school girlfriend to where a dress?

Please any body mainly a woman help me I know you like this stuff.

[yes]

Your spelling doesn't speak too well for this famous highschool, but anyway...

 

Slowdancing - why don't you ask your parents to show you? It's hard to explain in typing, and very easy to demonstrate.

 

Why would you ask her to wear a dress? Are you afraid she'll wear something else? If so, why? You can dance in pretty much anything, as far as I know!

 

-yes

[A wanderer]

yes i know i shouldn't worry but this "Middle School" is very high maitenance and i don't want to liik like an idiot as the only guy with a girl in pants since even the school requires girls wear skirts. also this is a school for the rich or intellegent. im just intellegent it cost me $15,000 to go but they gave me a $10,000 scholarship. I am very worried that ill look like a fool no thanks to my mom.

[yes]

if the girl isn't aware of the rule that skirts are required, just let her know that there's a dress code, and that girls must wear a skirt or a dress... i don't see the problem.

 

and if u'r worried, try slowdancing with her at home. all it is, at a basic level, is hugging her, and swaying from side to side in rhythm with the music (shift your weight foot to foot to sway)

 

-yes

[CaterpillarGirl]

Slow dancing is pretty easy, just swaying side to side. You could probably watch people the first dance and pick it up.

As far as the dress code goes, just tell her the attire is semi-formal. She'll know this is code for "wear a skirt or dress."

[A wanderer]

hey thanks u galz r cool

[Tree]

I guess middle school means that you are 13-14 yo? Yeah, I can see why you may be nervous! I certainly was at that age, too. I bet that anyone answering on this forum who ever went to a school dance will remember how much a bundle of nerves we all were.

 

So, be rest assured that if you are nervous about the way that you or your girl will come across, that you are not the only one. Heck, at least you had the guts to ask someone! Imagine all those folks who didn't even have the nerve to do that.

 

So, you seem to be ahead of the game already.

 

And sure, I can see why you want to make sure that at one of your first dances (doesn't even matter which school!) you want things to go smoothly, both with your girl and your friends. I think that teenage years are so stressful b/c we are all so worried about what other people think about us.

 

Anyway, yes, just mention in a casual tone about the dress code. Or, you could say, "Oh, and in case you are wondering what to wear (BELIEVE ME, SHE'LL BE WONDERING!), this is a dress-up kind of dance, so it would be best if you wore a dress or something."

 

As for the dancing, if they are playing modern rock or pop music, then I figure you pretty much have that under control, right? (If not, let us know.) With that, you pretty much dance in front of the girl (and she in front of you). If you unsure about that, then you could always resort to the fave "sway and snap" or something. Faking that is the easy part.

 

Then comes the slow dances.... That is the hard part. Why? B/c it makes being physically close to your girl (which can make us nervous and excited) a public display (eek!). But here again, you will not be alone in your anxiety. If you have sweaty palms, or are worried about losing the beat, or don't know what to do with your hands, it may make you feel better that almost everyone out there feels the same way. They may LOOK calm and confident, but trust me, inside they are a bundle of nerves just like you.

 

About the slow dancing, the general run of things is that you and the girl face each other. You put your hands on the girl's waist and she puts her hands around your neck. Then you sway to the music. The stereotype for such slow dancing is that the guy is responsible for keeping the beat, but to tell you the truth, I'm a girl, and I do the leading a lot, so it is not a general rule.

 

By the way, I remember my 6th grade dance like it was yesterday (I'm now 30). I was one of the first girls on the dance floor (the teachers picked three people to dance with them at first and I was one of them. I was TOTALLY nervous. I felt like all eyes were on me (and I guess they were since everyone else was to scared to dance, so they were all standing against the wall looking at me (ack!). I felt very awkward, but I gulped hard and tried not to look at other people. Then, the teachers pulled more people onto the dance floor and by the end of the third song, I was the only one not dancing (since I needed a break). Everybody was so "into" the music that the first boy-girl dance was a raving success! By the end of the dance, we were all trying to out-do each other on the dance floor with the moonwalk (OK, I'm showing my age here!).

 

If you are too nervous about dancing, yeah, just stay on the sides and look at how other people are dancing. If you are still nervous, you and your girl could try-out some moves on the side before going to the main dance area. Or, you could let her know that you aren't the best dancer and could use some tips! If she knows how to dance, I bet she'll be happy to give you some pointers.

 

(By the way, as long as you don't break a leg while on the dance floor, no on will pay much attention to you. Why? They are all concerned about how THEY look!)

 

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Tree]

Oh, and if you really want to practice before getting there, maybe you could call her and ask her if she could practice with you? If you are friends, she'll probably be into this.

 

And please don't think that the only folks you can ask about this sort of thing are girls. Guys can be a lot of help, too!

 

You could ask an older friend, relative (cousin, aunt, uncle) or teacher about your concerns. Since we ALL had a nervous time at first dances, my bet is that most everyone would be honored to give their two cents worth.

 

As someone who has been a teacher, I would have been thrilled if any student had wanted some pointers before their first dance. It is such an exciting time for young adults, and I for one, would have been honored to have been asked to have been a part of that.

[A wanderer]

you have been asked and helped me much. however i just found out i can't take n e 1 who isn't attending my school darn! o well she has dances i can go to so it's all good thanks for the advice.