I'm 27 with breast cancer and frustrated!!..

[smiley23]

Heyyy ya all, well its still hard to believe but yes I have breast cancer, I found a lump last feb, was diagnosed last march,never ever in a million years did it occur i had breast cancer..I have been out of work since mid-march and I'm sooooooooo bored..I had a masectomy and reconstruction the same day in april , life is sooo surreal I dont really know whether im coming or going its the weirdest experience EVER, I had my third chemo last week so I'm half way through my chemo..I'm extremely grumpy lately I was all fine really well as fine as I could be until I lost my hair and I feel just like I have lost myself, yes i have bandanas etc but I'm just so self conscious about it its unreal, I feel like people are looking at me, everybody knows and thats fine but I just dont feel like talkin about it I just wanna be on my own and get over it and have my hair back so I can get on with things..The thing is i broke up with my boyfriend the same week I found out..Thats another story in itsself, my mother has bi-polar and has left my dad but comes and goes practically every week driving me nuts so basically I miss my ex now ALL the time, my mother is doin my head in..Actually everyone is doing my head in I just want to get back to normal I try and walk everyday when I can I now this is all just short term but how do I get by day by day without going insane and constantly thinking of my ex... I feel like im soooo alone even though all family are there for me i just want to cuddle up and be loved :-( I feel so angry.. ( i wrote about my boyfriend in second chances if you wanna see tha long entry!!..)

[whichwayisup]

I am sorry to hear that you have to go through this. Just know that so many people survive this disease!

 

Please make sure you have friends nearby if you can't rely on your mom. Also, get some counselling because this ride you're isn't an easy one, so all the support you can get, the better..

 

I want to go read your thread about your recent break-up, then I will comment over there on that situation.

 

Stay strong, you can fight this! Don't ever give up hope!

[smiley23]

Thankss a mill, i know i was thinking maybe i should get some counselling..Its good to talk to someone probably who isnt saying what they just want you to hear as your family :-) My thread is in second chances!! Thanks :-)

[whichwayisup]

You're welcome.

 

As I said on your other thread, you need to focus on you and only you. Too much drama and emotion is a waste of energy, and that energy has to be spent on healing and gettingt through your treatment.

 

Definately get counselling to help you cope, someone to talk to and help you through this. Many cancer patients need that support.. This is a scary time for you, let alone all the other stuff with your ex..Just keep things light.

[quankanne]

no advice, just some well-earned hugs for the trials you're facing. My best friend's sister in law just finished up chemo, and BF has just let me in on what's really going on with paying for treatment, the toll it's taken on the little ones and the lack of support her SIL has from her own family.

 

hope healing comes quickly, and by all means, don't hesitate to come here to share or to vent, we're family here!

 

quank

[LucreziaBorgia]

One place that helped me was the youngsurvival.org boards. I found a lot of help and support over there from young women all over the world who are going through this. I found LS to be a lifesaver too - just keep getting it out and don't let it fester inside. Rant, rave, cry, scream, bitch, moan, etc - the more you express yourself the better off your mental state will be.

[marlena]

Hello,

 

Like the others, I just felt the need to step in and wish you a full recovery. There are people on here who understand and will help you through with this. It's unfortunate that your mother can not support you with this. If you have friends, now, is the time to lean on them. I am a strong believer in not holding back emotions when under extreme strain,so, yes, do let off steam here or anywhere if you feel the need to. You can beat this thing, I know, as I have a few girlfriends who came out winners and are leading happy and productive lives. Now, is the time to be selfish and look after your own interests and well-being and no one else's, not your mother's, not your ex's, no one's. You must become the centre of your own universe. Stay on the board and look into LB's link. We'll all be here for you.

 

M

[redfathom]

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. I can see why you are so frustarted. I think you should try to turn that frustration into hope, just think about getting through this and everything you will do after you succeed in getting rid of this awful disease. It's easy to feel lost now, but I know you will find yourself again at the end of this. If there is ever a time to be selfish, this is it. Worry about yourself and not anyone else.

 

I read your other thead and you ex sounds so selfish. Everything in your relationship was about him and you both as a whole. It's not fair for him to send you mixed signals either, that's just playing games with you. Try not to worry about him, just take care of yourself and get some counseling, it does wonders!

 

Good luck.

[smiley23]

Thanks Guys :-) Today I seem to be wayyy better, it was like I was really in a panic the last few days all of a sudden but I think that all your advise ( LB,quankanne,marlena,redfathom)I need to look after me and only mee its only another few months of treatment and Ill be bran new I just know it..I took sleeping tablets for two nights in a row as I was staying in a friends and you know what I think that these really threw me off track into panic mode,I didnt take one last night and I feel way better..Plus all the advise I got made me think I need to think for myself for once and stop tryin to focus all my energy on someone who only really thinks of themselves..All will work out in good time I just have to take it a day at a time ..

 

Quick question anyone that has had breast cancer or any kind of cancer have all your bills been high? I have health insurance and im lucky that it is all covered by this I wouldnt be able to handle the bills too!!..

[quankanne]

if you don't mind, I'm pasting below what BF wrote about her SIL in a recent email and the cancer ... I'd assumed that Elizabeth had health insurance, but it turns out that her husband (BFs brother) is working odd jobs to bring in additional income. I know medical treatment is costly with serious illness, but this almost seems to be like salt getting poured into the poor girl's wounds:

 

and according to her, she's not receiving the really "bad boy" stuff,

she refers to it as the "red bag". Several people had "the red bag"

when we went for her treatment; and she said I can't look at it or

I'll start having nightmares. This is the really harsh stuff they use

for people whose cancer metastasized.

 

That and the worry over the growing pile of medical bills, since their

insurance doesn't cover much. The day we were there for treatment she

was told that her insurance would not cover the shots she's given the

day after chemo to boost her blood cell count (4 shots @ $6,000 a

pop). And because of being so sick from the chemo she had to quit

working so they lost her paycheck.

 

She's very resourceful though and is applying to all sorts of

organizations who could possibly provide some $$ for cancer patients.

The Susan Komen Foundation was able to give her $300.

[redfathom]

Wow!! That is very sad.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I was on the Breast and Cervical Cancer Medicaid program. I didn't have insurance at the time. The costs were astronomical. Even with insurance, I would not have been able to afford 20% of roughly 200K.

[quankanne]

thanks, LB, will tell my friend about the program you've mentioned. I think what's really hurting her brother's family is that just before SIL was diagnosed, their five-year-old son was having seizures, so hospital costs were already run up from that!

[sparkleson]

Oh my god thats awful thats the last thing she needs on top of the cancer, I get that same injection but here in ireland we have a drug payment scheme so if you are paying more than €90 a month on medication you can apply for this card and everything over €90 is paid by the government so all my injections are covered that way..

[FranklyJones]

Thats very sad, i think life is taking your exams.Its just having the thing that how much courage you have to play with these kind of things.I can only advice you to buck up don't step back,future will be yours.