sailorsgirl Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 What do you do when you've been struggling w/ an X for over a year and a half? He has pursued me in every way possible, nice, ugly, emotionally raw, amazingly,,,,the guy has tried every trick in the book. I busily moved on w/ my life (as did he though not at my pace) We both got involved in other relationships, etc. But we have always come back to one another in most ways....we have talked about trying again many times and there have been lots of ups and downs along the way. There have been a lot of laughs, a lot of tears, a lot of ugly words and a lot of making up...families have been involved, children have been involved and it has been so dang crazy it's unbelievable......we talk about trying again, put the rest of our lives on hold, chicken out, stay away from each other, and then end up back at square one!!!! What do you do when this happens? Please someone tell me because I am physically, mentally and emotionally DRAINED....We have carried on w/ our lives, then talk yet again about getting back together but now we are both in committed relationships and that complicates things once again! How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel on everything else and just go back to each other? I'm scared on every side of the coin, yet I cannot control how I feel for him and after all of this time I feel like it MUST be right, or why would we still be bothering? In the beginning I chalked it all up to wanting something "familiar" or it being more "comfortable".....but this long later that doesn't seem to be the case! We both talk about recommitting but are scared to death to do so and a lot of that has to do w/ the fact that we have carried on somewhat w/ life...there is some insecurity involved there and I think that's normal, but then again it's all very frightening. I'm nervous yet excited about trying again, but yet nervous about rushing too fast. However, a decision HAS to be made soon because it's not fair to anyone involved. Not to us and not to them. I know I sound nuts, but if anyone can relate or offer some insight I'd sure appreciate it. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
serenityprayer Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 Damn, I can relate to you. You've tried many times to try to work things out and now you are confused whether you should call it quits or try again to make the relationship work. As I am dealing with very, very similar situation as yours, I ask myself this question: "If I was so happy this this person and it was meant to be, then how come we didn't stay together in the first place?" It sounds like you've attempted and is still willing to move on with your life. You sound like a strong person, mentally and emotionally, but just tired of this...Nobody can tell you what to do. Sure we can tell each other what we think of the situation, as i am doing now, but ultimately, you will make the decision. Whether you call it quits or try one more time, or 100 more times after the initial effort, remember that there is not bad or good decision. Any decision you make will follow a particular consequence and you will have to deal with it. My heart goes out to you. I am dealing with almost identical problem. Thank you for sharing your dilemma. Link to post Share on other sites
Thor Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 In my experience, it would probably be best if you were to NOT pursue this relationship any further. Your past experiences with each other have proved to be less than successful. You've already broken up with each other, and will probably do so again if you were to get back together. It's always important to realize that most relationships are not perfect. People do argue and have disputes. However, the relationships that do last are those that can reconcile those differences while still in the relationship. Since that has not happened in your situation then I truly believe that the best thing that you can do is to stay apart. Link to post Share on other sites
BklynGuy Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 My advice would be to leave it alone. I tried with my ex time after time and she was always quick to throw in the towel. I don't like to fail and would never have given up on her. The truth is once something ends a relationship once, it will probably happen again. You should move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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