a promise ring now?

[Kamille]

 

In my defense though, he DOES tend to add fuel to the fire by dropping little hints. Like yesterday he saw Jared's jewelry store and said that maybe he should look at other jewelry stores besides Kays for me for jewelry. And he already told me my present for our anniversary was earings, and yesterday he asked me if I looked for the present and I said "no, I already know what it is though." And he said "Well maybe you don't, maybe I lied about what I got you." (I suppose that's a possiblity, but come on).

 

So maybe I am reading too much into those things, but it's hard for me to not obsess over it when he drops odd hints like that. If he isn't ready to get married then fine, but I wish he wouldn't add fuel to the fire.

 

I think you are reading too much into it. He's talking about jewellery (general category). He's bought you jewellery in the past (I believe) and is likely offering you some for your anniversary. Since you want a ring, you are likely to look for clues that he is preparing to buy you one where it is best to assume that a duck is a duck.

 

The joke about "maybe I lied" is a common one where gift giving is involved. For instance, if a partner guesses the other got them an Xbox, then it is common for the other to say "you don't know that for sure." I would do this in the hope that my partner would still be excited to receive the Xbox.

 

Always best to take things as they are.

[Lauriebell82]

I think you are reading too much into it. He's talking about jewellery (general category). He's bought you jewellery in the past (I believe) and is likely offering you some for your anniversary. Since you want a ring, you are likely to look for clues that he is preparing to buy you one where it is best to assume that a duck is a duck.

 

The joke about "maybe I lied" is a common one where gift giving is involved. For instance, if a partner guesses the other got them an Xbox, then it is common for the other to say "you don't know that for sure." I would do this in the hope that my partner would still be excited to receive the Xbox.

 

Always best to take things as they are.

 

Yeah, you are probably right. I guess I am reading into things a little too much. I suppose I may be "seeking out" clues as opposed to him actually giving them to me. I am really excited to get the earings, they are really beautiful. I guess that upset me because the only other jewelry that he hasn't gotten me (other than the earings) would be an engagement ring. I need to try to relax here though, I'm already driving myself nuts. Like I said, when I don't think about it and just enjoy our relationship I am so happy! I have to try to keep that in mind.

[Star Gazer]

I think you are reading too much into it. He's talking about jewellery (general category). He's bought you jewellery in the past (I believe) and is likely offering you some for your anniversary. Since you want a ring, you are likely to look for clues that he is preparing to buy you one where it is best to assume that a duck is a duck.

 

The joke about "maybe I lied" is a common one where gift giving is involved. For instance, if a partner guesses the other got them an Xbox, then it is common for the other to say "you don't know that for sure." I would do this in the hope that my partner would still be excited to receive the Xbox.

 

Always best to take things as they are.

 

All very true. I don't think he's really fueling the fire at all. Rather, I think LB reads into hints about jewelry IN GENERAL in the same way she reads into GENERAL conversations about marriage.

 

If she'd just chill out and enjoy the relationship for what it is now, it will make a proposal (whenever it's made and by whomever it's made) that much more exciting and worthwhile.

[Star Gazer]

I guess that upset me because the only other jewelry that he hasn't gotten me (other than the earings) would be an engagement ring.

 

Don't make me call you an ungrateful princess again.

[Lauriebell82]

All very true. I don't think he's really fueling the fire at all. Rather, I think LB reads into hints about jewelry IN GENERAL in the same way she reads into GENERAL conversations about marriage.

 

If she'd just chill out and enjoy the relationship for what it is now, it will make a proposal (whenever it's made and by whomever it's made) that much more exciting and worthwhile.

 

Yeah, I know. I suppose the reason why I read so much into his comments are because he has always been so "wishy washy" about the subject. He told me once that he discussed marriage with his ex gf all time and after a year and half she cheated on him with a doctor and it destroyed him. So that's why he theorizes that detailed discussed regarding weddings and personalized marriage conversations should be discussed after engagement.

 

I think I get so happy when he actually DOES discuss anything related to marriage that I overthink the whole thing. It's really hard to not discuss marriage with the person that you wish to marry.

[Lauriebell82]

Don't make me call you an ungrateful princess again.

 

Nah, I'm happy to get the earings that are absolutely beautiful. He spent a lot of money on them as well, and he did it for me, so I'm grateful for that.

[melodymatters]

I DO belive in marriage, very much. I think it comes from being Italian and part of such a close family. To me, getting married makes that person FAMILY, and the rules for family are much different than for BF's who may come and go.

 

MY sister was with a guy for 13 yrs who didn't " believe" in marriage. She was willing to deal with that, buy a house with him, etc, and then he cheated on her with a 23 yr old cocktail waitress. Could that have just as easily happened if there was a piece of paper in the courthouse, and a ring in their fingers, sure, But she would have had more legal redress and perhaps they would have tried harder to get through the affair to make their MARRIAGE work.

 

I had a BF that proposed TWICE within a couple months time, and THEN decided he "didn't believe oin marriage.

 

That caused me a lot of hurt and pain as I am SO very much the " Say what you mean and mean what you say type" person.

 

So, I think I would, like touche said, be a little more upfront about the " Dude, if your not ready to get married, that's cool, I love you and will wait for you, but It's kinda UNCOOL to show me ring catalogs, try on promise rings etc".

[Lauriebell82]

I DO belive in marriage, very much. I think it comes from being Italian and part of such a close family. To me, getting married makes that person FAMILY, and the rules for family are much different than for BF's who may come and go.

 

MY sister was with a guy for 13 yrs who didn't " believe" in marriage. She was willing to deal with that, buy a house with him, etc, and then he cheated on her with a 23 yr old cocktail waitress. Could that have just as easily happened if there was a piece of paper in the courthouse, and a ring in their fingers, sure, But she would have had more legal redress and perhaps they would have tried harder to get through the affair to make their MARRIAGE work.

 

I had a BF that proposed TWICE within a couple months time, and THEN decided he "didn't believe oin marriage.

 

That caused me a lot of hurt and pain as I am SO very much the " Say what you mean and mean what you say type" person.

 

So, I think I would, like touche said, be a little more upfront about the " Dude, if your not ready to get married, that's cool, I love you and will wait for you, but It's kinda UNCOOL to show me ring catalogs, try on promise rings etc".

 

Well, I did confront him regarding the promise ring issue, therefore he bought me earings. Maybe I am reading into what I think are his "little hints" but I feel like he is either toying with me or is just really dense when it comes to discussing engagement rings. (probably the latter)

 

I still don't even know where he stands on the whole marriage issue, he never actually even answered my question when I asked him at the bar. I thought he might even say something since he was drinking, but of course after I had already answered him he avoided my question. Does someone who isn't ready to get married ask their gf what she thinks about the two of them getting married?

[melodymatters]

LOL, well apparently, they even PROPOSE, TWICE, when they don't "believe in marriage, so who knows what those nutty b*stards will do ! LOL