anndorra Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 i just recently came home to finish my education. i have been traveling with the carnival for three years. i have started dateing a guy i was seeing in highschool. he is sweet and will do anything for me. i went last two weeks as a favor to my ex boss to work a spot with them. while i was there i ended up in bed with a close guy friend. i do not believe in cheating. and to make matters worse i do not even feel guilty. my boyfriend came out to see me and my friend made a snide commit . luckely i was the only one who heard it. then on his second visit my friend walked right past him to give me a ring he had found . dident even acknolege him. we have been friends for 3 yrs but every time we get too close my friend backs away. now im seeing someone. and im haveing truble with sex too. whenever im about to reach my peak during sex all the feelind dies. much less being able to orgasim. when i end up with my friend though i dont have this problem. he is the only one i dont it seems. any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
may Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 you love the close friend not the boyfriend. but the close friend is stupid and commitment shy and so you just pine away wanting something you cant have. That is a common aphrodesiac and one that most people find terribly attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
anndorra Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 ok i can take that. but what now? if i have so much truble with the friend should i keep trying? i have already told him im too close to him. he dident say much. just kept asking if i had his e-mail. and that no he dosent get physical just to prove he can. hes pretty sure at least. i said i do not understand him, and he said he dose not understand himself. or should i try to make the boyfriend thing work? what if it wont because my feelings for my friend? Link to post Share on other sites
anndorra Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 [color=blue][/color]no one seems to want to answer my questions and i really need some help clarifying my head. i have just come home from a job i travel with. i have a verry close male friend their. we have had a physical relationship for a long time now 3yrs. when ever he thinks im geting too close he backs away. this year he stoped doing this. we travel seperate routs that lead us apart some times plus he only travels some of the year. when he returned this year, hewas all excited . said a mutual friend of ours said he was all i talked about all winter. it was true i have realised i have verry strong feelings for him. we were apart for a week and next i saw him he told me he was cheating by being with me. so i stoped talking to him. i wouldent want it to be me. another week past and when we reunited agen he brought me a gift. a simple tin box , but he said he thought of me so it means the wourld to me. yet while we were apart i had decided i was leaving my job. this was going no whear. so im home and have started seeing a guy i dated in highschool. i went to work the last two weeks for my former job. and ended up in bed with my friend. i tryed to tell him i wanted to be good and even told him not to mess with me. i dont cheat!!! but somehow with him my rule never stands. i dont understand. i do not even feel bad. my boyfriend came to visit and both times my friend got jealous. the day i came back home i told him i am too close to him. he confuses me. all he could say is he confuses himself. and ask if i had his e-mail. someone has said im in love with him. but then what? do i try or try to make the boyfriend thing work? what if it cant because my feelings for my friend? i do not know what to do. and what dose my friend want? he wont tell. Link to post Share on other sites
MercyRose Posted August 15, 2003 Share Posted August 15, 2003 Tell the friend who is messing you around that you will never see him or contact him again because he is not offering you what you want-a relationship and that you decided to move on with your boyfriend. The friend relationship is unhealthy. If he really loves you he will do something about it. But have some respect for yourself and don't let this carry on as it is. The friend needs a kick up the backside, either to wake him up and take action or to get rid of him because he is offering you absolutely nothing. Its not the attraction or occasional sex or imaging they they are longing for you thats important. Whats important is that they want to be in a relationship with you and make sure that they manifest that desire into reality i.e make you their girlfriend and date you. Link to post Share on other sites
anndorra Posted August 17, 2003 Share Posted August 17, 2003 I understand that i asked for help and advice. i thank you. yet i do have to say i do not agree. if everyone i know had discarded me because i was confused or scared, i would never have had any of the grate relationships i have had. i pride on being open minded, and in doing so have to be open to what others feel and think. i have discused part of my problem with my boyfriend and he says he already knew i had feeling tward my friend and he is willing to waight and see what hapens. i told him that its not a good idea . yet who am i to tell someone they cannot do as they wish. he wants to help and i will let him. the friend has said himself he dose not understand himself. so he is confused too. i will not end our friendship over this. but should i keep trying and will my relationship suffer because i have feelings elsewhear are my two worrys. Link to post Share on other sites
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