LoveLace Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 ...If I'm a no-show to somewhere he expects me to be? I've been posting about "C"...an old friend...saw each other couple weeks ago. Short version: he was very attentive to me and my friends said it was obvious that he was digging me. I dug him too. He made a comment suggesting the future that night, but that's all it was, and my friends were pretty convinced it was a reference to seeing me again...fast forward...he and I have been writing back and forth on MS since then, not everyday, but 4 or 5 times since seeing each other. Last we talked, we were on the subject of a show he's playing Sunday in a Park, then he asked if I had any plans that day. I responded to him that I only had vague plans for that day, but I would get friends together and join the show, buy him a birthday drink. I mentioned my winery plans for Saturday....after that he wrote back the band starts at 6pm and have fun at the wineries!! I DID ask him what time it will begin on Sunday, but we don't have each other's phone #'s. I didn't want to suggest meeting at a certain time or place in order not to appear anxious. But he will be the saxophone player on stage, not hard for ME to find once I'm there. So that means I'll have to approach, or hope he notices I'm there....I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. I've known the guy for 10 years, but I really don't want to look like a groupie.... What if I didn't go? My friends agree that his question about my plans was an invite, so I don't want to hurt his feelings (especially because he will be performing); yet I don't know how to do this without looking like a stalker....course, his band's schedule is on the internet, I guess a real stalker would go to like EVERY show, but I don't know. I'd be very excited to see him, but am I nervous because of the situation, or just because I like him? He'd be likely to ask me what happened if he doesn't see me, but even with a good excuse it doesn't mean he'd ask me about hanging out again...I so enjoy his company and I don't think a friendship could be ruined at this point. I guess thats why I'm feeling cautious? What to do! Just think if I wasn't there but he realized he can't call me because he doesn't have my number...hmmm...but would that be just playing games? Would not going be playing games? I know I WANT to go with my friends and that should be what matters?...ugh, maybe it doesn't even matter at all and maybe he could care less either way, but I want to consider him in case he does... AND THANK YOU in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Why are you thinking of not going? I didn't see in your post that you had anything else you were doing. Your not showing up to a show is neither going to ruin your friendship nor is it going to make him like you more or less. So I don't really get your issue at all, I guess. Why are you creating all this angst about this show? Personally, I think you're setting yourself up to get hurt. If he likes you and wants to date you, he could 1) ask for your phone number and 2) ask to take you out on a date. He's had ample opportunity to ask you on a date, hasn't he? Both at the show you went to, and as follow ups with all this myspace chatter. Yet all he's done is invite you to come see his next show, just like he's probably invited 100 other people he chats with. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I would go and have a great time with my friends and I would be sure to wish him a happy birthday - but... (because there has to be one but:p) But: I would take it as friendly invite and nothing else. Meaning: I would have one drink with him, flirt a little bit (try to let him know discretely I was interested) and then do my own things with my friend. The rest is up to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted August 29, 2008 Author Share Posted August 29, 2008 Why are you thinking of not going? I didn't see in your post that you had anything else you were doing --- I want to go because its planned with my friends, though we could easily do something else if we wanted. I just feel strange showing up at a 2nd show of his in 2 weeks...even though he seemed very glad about it last time... Your not showing up to a show is neither going to ruin your friendship nor is it going to make him like you more or less - Good, so I wouldn't be losing anything... So I don't really get your issue at all, I guess. Why are you creating all this angst about this show? I don't even know. Just because I like him, I guess. I don't expect that going could hurt me at all, but I don't want to make him uncomfortable if he isn't interested; but if he isn't then you would think he just wouldn't hang out with me when I'm there, or keep it minimal....last time he spent every free moment he had talking to me....he might think I expect that again, I don't know! Personally, I think you're setting yourself up to get hurt. If he likes you and wants to date you, he could 1) ask for your phone number and 2) ask to take you out on a date. He's had ample opportunity to ask you on a date, hasn't he? Both at the show you went to, and as follow ups with all this myspace chatter. Yet all he's done is invite you to come see his next show, just like he's probably invited 100 other people he chats with. I thought about that too, trust me. But, he works 6 outta 7 days/nights a week between 2 jobs. It could be that he invites tons of people, but I also think thats because its his biggest opportunity for socializing...which yes I understand would be difficult to date because of that. But I just really want to get to know him better for now...if it wasn't 2 jobs, it would be kids or some other inconvenience (in our 30's, that's the norm)...or challenge...and we're only friends anyway so no reason to weight it too heavy. I'm not thinking past Sunday, at this point. Well cr*p, I'm just going to go, because my friends want to, and because I told him I would, I'll say hi and say he did great just like every other fan, chat a few min. and get back to hanging out with my friends. That would be worst case scenario, so I guess I have my answer... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 join the show, buy him a birthday drink. ... that means I'll have to approach, or hope he notices I'm there....I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. I'd play it both ways...go and THEN wait for him to approach me. And be all happy and, "So glad you spotted me...now I can buy you that b/day drink I promised you!" If he's looking for you, he WILL spot you. (They ALWAYS do, when they are interested. You could be a mile away. I promise. Don't worry...if he's looking for you, he WILL spot you!) And if he's not looking for you/doesn't approach you..well, then you may as well find that out, too. But if it ends up like that, I owe you ten dollars ... or whatever is the legal tender here at LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted August 29, 2008 Author Share Posted August 29, 2008 I'd play it both ways...go and THEN wait for him to approach me. And be all happy and, "So glad you spotted me...now I can buy you that b/day drink I promised you!" If he's looking for you, he WILL spot you. (They ALWAYS do, when they are interested. You could be a mile away. I promise. Don't worry...if he's looking for you, he WILL spot you!) And if he's not looking for you/doesn't approach you..well, then you may as well find that out, too. But if it ends up like that, I owe you ten dollars ... or whatever is the legal tender here at LS. Excellent point. That's along the lines of what i was thinking...to just go with friends and let him do the approaching. Nature would take its course after that. I mean at the last show, I expected nothing more than saying hi, and maybe hanging out with a couple drinks after. But we said a lot more than "hi" and he "hung out" with me and only me the entire time. So if he's interested, it'll happen again, I guess..whatever! But thanks, maybe I'll make $10! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
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