meablue Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 I have been dating a wonderful guy for eight months. We were friends for about a year prior. We are very serious- he has spoke of marriage... and although he has never given me reasonable cause to distrust him, I do. I don't have many specific ex., which I know would be helpful- but the most recent inconsistency involves money. We live together, and I was trying to budget- he's not always terribly responsible w/ $. He told me he withdrew only 20$ two days ago, when in actuality, he took out 100$. He only has about 30$ left, and he can't remember purchasing anything big. If I am simply looking to control him, or create drama, please let me know. I just can't imagine being frivolous like that and not remembering. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 two thoughts: - i'm alarmed by his lying to you about the amount - why did he do that? would you scold him if he told the truth? - $70 isn't hard to spend... expensive food, esp. with alcohol; clothes; perhaps a massage... - does he agree that budgeting is a good idea? are you guys struggling to make ends meet? Some people just like to spend without a plan... ok, that was three -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author meablue Posted August 13, 2003 Author Share Posted August 13, 2003 It's definitely possible that he thought I would be upset, and that he figured not telling me would certainly pacify any argument that may occur. I don't feel that I have too much ground to stand on sometimes, as I am takiing a full course load at university, and for the first time am not contributing much to our income. We are definitely on a budget. He made it very clear that he wanted me to finish my degree and that we would work out the financial picture together- even if I couldn't work or work much. Certainly not I situation I coerced him into. Could he just be absent minded or careless? (He loses his atm card on a seemingly monthly basis.) p.s thank/y yes for the reply...I am new to this and find it very encouraging to have non-judgemental people to talk to..... Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 he loses his ATM card that often? whoa... what else is he so absent-minded about? He probably senses your discomfort with not bringing in much money... If i were you, i wdn't worry about it unless there're other signs of trouble. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author meablue Posted August 13, 2003 Author Share Posted August 13, 2003 I appreciate the feedback- it's hard to push it aside, though. I'm the analytical, science type. He's the artsy-fartsy type. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 Hey Meablue, I can so relate to you with that with my hubby ..He will go to the atm and do the same thing and then ask him why he got it out and he say he don't know .. my h will get out 20 one day and 40 the next and i feel that he is paying his band rent and he isn't wanting me to know cause he tells me all the time the other guy paid his rent .. Men tell us what we want to hear in order to avoid a argument if they would just be open and honest with us we wouldn't think they was lying all the time. i don't trust too much my h says anymore cause he will tell me something and it will not be all true.. One time he went behind my back and paid for their bands recording and told me it wasn't going to cost i know better .. i found out after it flopped that they all did but he told me the guy was doing it for free.. I know it is little lies that he is telling but what makes me think he isn't lying about something else !! The little ones lead into a snow ball effect and so it is hard to believe alot that comes out of his mouth anymore.. Goodluck Link to post Share on other sites
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