Mending1985 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I need to find myself and find what makes me happy, but I don't really know how to go about that...at the moment nothing makes me happy and I can't for the life of me figure this stuff out! Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 That's a tough one! What kind of stuff made you happy in the past? What types of feelings, situations, activities, people? What about that made you happy? Do you have some idea when you stopped being able to make yourself happy? What was going on for you at that time? If you could just create an ideal scenario or life (or bunch of them, for that matter), what would you put in it? What would you be doing? How would you be acting? What would you definitely have and definitely not have? Why did you choose those specific things (people, objects, circumstances, etc.)? That is, what pleasure did they bring...or what enjoyment do you hope/expect them to bring? I dunno. Was that useful at all? The ultimate goal is for your happiness to be about you and what you can create by and for yourself...so kind of try to find your answers with that in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 You could always focus on your strengths and talents and sort of use them as a guideline to find an intrest that makes you happy. Don't stress to much you will get there. Best wishes. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Has something recent happened in your life to make you feel dissatisfied with everything? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mending1985 Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Ronni: My life has always centred on being in a relationship and this is my first time to really look at myself on my own and I don't know what to do with myself! It's been almost 2 years since my ex and I broke up and I've been using the idea of me and him getting back together to cheer me up sometimes but that's never going to happen and I'm at a bit of a loss now! I've been trying to go out with my friends more, I've joined a gym, I like my new career, I'm practicing for my drivers licence, I'm trying to do all sorts of things but nothing really seems to make me as happy as when I used to spend time with him...I'm very stuck in a rut lol Trial: Nothing really recent, it's been a slow build up. I've finally cut ties with my ex (for the fiftieth time!) and am determined to stick to it this time, and I realised the reason I keep running back to him is because I'm not happy with myself because I don't really KNOW myself...and I don't know how to get to know myself I guess... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I'm trying to do all sorts of things but nothing really seems to make me as happy as when I used to spend time with him...I'm very stuck in a rut lol Well, you're doing a bunch of the right things to get very OUT of that rut! As for the rest, work with what you've got -- how did YOU used to feel about YOURSELF, when you were with him? What did he see in you that made you feel happy about what he saw? (does that makes sense?) What were you able to do for him, that made you feel good about yourself? What did YOU bring out in him? What did YOU contribute to that time you spent with him? What did he bring out IN YOU that made it a happy time? I know it's going to be a bit tough to take him out of the picture...but you do need to do that to get to your own feelings of happiness and contentment that you felt during the relationship. Lemme see if I can give an example: "I remember that evening we were at the park. And he looked into my eyes, held me tight, told me he loved me. I was SOOO happy that evening." But then you gotta break it all down. "Well...it was a beautiful sunset...not too warm or cold...and I was wearing my new blue sweater..." So okay...now I know beautiful sunsets ALSO make 'me' happy, AND wearing specific clothes that I like, AND moderate temperatures. (Are you getting the picture that it really wasn't just ALL him that added to 'my' happiness that night.) What else? "Oh, yeah...the way he looked into my eyes." (Well, that's just a piece of info you find out about yourself...that's something you like. Other guys are gonna do that, too. Or you can stare at yourself in the mirror sometimes, when you're feeling silly or like you need your eyes gazed into but there's no one around to do it .) See if you can work your happy memories like that -- trying to find out where you were/are in the piece...where/how YOUR OWN senses, preferences, likes and perceptions added to the your happy feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
CoachDoug Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Happiness is a ‘state of mind.’ Every one of us was blessed with the freedom and power to CHOOSE happiness. It is simply a ‘conscious’ choice we can make. To most people this seems extraordinarily simple. Guess what? It is, and that’s one reason people do not see this simple key to being happy. Most people look in all the wrong places for happiness when it’s right in front of them within their own mind. Most people say things like “If I win the lottery or inherit lots of money then I’ll be happy”…”If I can find a beautiful person who loves me I’ll be so happy”…”If I can get this great job I’ll be happy”…”When I can buy the car of my dreams I’ll be happy.” This is totally backwards thinking. None of these things will make you truly happy because they are all transitory. Their effects change or wear off eventually. I'm sure you have experienced this. The ‘secret’ to having all the things you desire in life is to first become truly happy within and then what you want in life will be attracted to you. True happiness can ONLY be found from within. YOU are the only one who can make YOU happy. Be happy you are alive, you are healthy, you are intelligent, you have family, and all the other SIMPLE things you have in your life. True and lasting happiness will come into your life when you realize it’s simply a ‘state of mind’ you consciously CHOOSE to be in. You can instantly switch from depression, anxiety, stress, or sadness by simply exercising your powerful freedom of choice. No matter what problem or crisis appears in your life you can still choose how you approach it and how you feel about it. Instead of letting your emotions control how you feel, which most people tend to do, decide YOU will control your emotions. When you're feeling depressed, stressed, unhappy ask yourself these 3 simple questions: 1.) COULD I choose to be happy 'right now?' (of course you can because it's a choice.) 2.) WOULD I choose to be happy 'right now?' (of course you would because that's how you want to feel.) 3.) WHEN will I choose to be happy...RIGHT NOW! (because you can with your incredible power of choice.) Use those 3 simple, but powerful, questions when anything is bothering you in life. They have amazing power to put things into perspective. When you consciously exercise your power of CHOOSING how you will feel in all matters, life becomes much slower and more manageable. You become much calmer, more joyful, happier, and you make much better decisions in all areas of your life. CHOOSE to be happy young lady and consciously tell yourself this just before you go to bed at night and as soon as you wake up each morning. When things aren’t going your way during your day REMIND yourself of the massive power of CHOICE you have within you to feel any way you want to feel. You have incredible power within you and nothing can stop you when you choose to activate this power. CHOOSE to be happy every day…and your life will change quickly. …CoachDoug Visit my website and find more answers at http://www.law-of-attraction-lifestyle.com Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I need to find myself and find what makes me happy, but I don't really know how to go about that...at the moment nothing makes me happy and I can't for the life of me figure this stuff out! Any ideas? I went through pretty much the same thing two years ago with my EX fiance. I struggled with the same question, but I woke up one day and realized nobody else was going to make me happy, so I started began my own course of action. First, I reasoned that I needed to learn how to be comfortable being alone, that was probably the hardest part. Self affirmation worked well for me, I would look in the mirror and say positive things about myself (sound stupid, but for some reason it works). Also, I started going out to place by myself, and forcing a smile so I would look happy. After a while, things started getting much better for me. I was going out to singles hangout (and clubs) by myself, and started meeting new people and friends. Also, I re-acquainted with lost friends, and from there I started realizing that happiness is all around you if you look for it. Life can be crappy sometimes, but we have to muster up the courage to face our dilemma's and seek happiness at all opportunities that come along. Good luck, Link to post Share on other sites
Tormented311 Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 How about trying a bunch of different things. When I was on MySpece, I liked the HTML, now I'm taking a few classes on it cause I wanna be a web developer. You never know, you might find something you like. Link to post Share on other sites
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