In Love with Best Friend..Any way to transition this

[pittguy578]

I will finally admit to it. I am in love with my best female friend. We have been friends for well over 12 years..I am 30..she is going to be 29..I know she liked me at one time..back in high school..I liked her when I was in college..got drunk and poured my guts out to her over the phone..but we acted as if it never happened. We liked each other..just never at the right time..She has never back in my area for any length of time..lived in DC..then went to law school in Philly....but we always kept in touch..We talk nearly every day..sometimes more than once on the phone. She recently moved back to Pittsburgh after law school..for the first time in a lot of years. We have been hanging out a lot..today we spent the whole day together..We are going to hang out tomorrow and on Monday we are going to lunch..I am going to help her prep for an interview. We are compatible in so many ways..i.e. religion, politics, working out, eating habits. She is very beautiful..she honestly takes my breath away sometimes when I see her. I was in denial that I still liked her..or borderline loved her for a long time, but I realized it again lately. I can't picture myself without her. I can honestly say I love her..no I am not exaggerating. Everyone tells me I have loved her..everyone asks us if we are dating and we are not..sometimes we playfully flirt..like when I said I was working out a lot..she said I shouldn't work out too much..or else I might lose my "butt"..SHe winks at me sometimes..not sure if she is playing..I told her she looked beautiful tonight..but in a friendly way..and have told her that before. She didn't seem upset or weirded out by it

 

I would honestly marry this girl in a heartbeat..tomorrow..and not worry about it. We know each other like the back of our hands. If we had just met, I would definitely make a move i.e. romantic, but I am not sure what to do. I don't want to miss out by being a chicken and not at least breaching the subject..I am not sure how she feels..I don't want to ruin a friendship, but I am not sure what to do.

[paddington bear]

Call her or email her and just tell her, something like, remember I spilled my guts out to you about how I felt about you and then we never really talked about it again? Well, my feelings haven't changed, especially now since I'm seeing so much of you again. Do you see me as a friend or would you be willing to take a chance on something more?

 

If you are in love with this girl, the friendship is ruined anyway, as you are not 'friends' one of you have developed strong feelings for the other. I say, risk losing her by telling her once again of your feelings. Better that than not knowing and maybe years going by hoping and waiting and then one day for her to meet another guy and you ending up devastated.

 

If her answer is that she only sees you as a friend, it will be heartbreaking, but better that you know, then you can try to get over her and find a gorgeous girl that wants you as much as you want her.

[eric82]

First you need to take a few steps back and try to put your emotions in perspective. Yeah you've known her for a long time, but as friends. Just because she is a great friend doesn’t mean she would necessarily make a great partner. Have you had sex with her and seen if you’re sexually compatible? Even if you have, you still don't know what she's really like as a girlfriend or wife until you've been in that type of relationship with her for a while. That’s why I think it’s not a good idea to rush into something like marriage. Behind closed doors and over the extended period of time of a relationship, this woman could turn out to be a completely different person from the friend you know and love, or who you thought she would be, so try to not let your heart go too wild. I’m not saying this to shoot you down, just trying to keep things in perspective.

 

If you want to know how she feels about you, sure you can ask, but I'm of the opinion that actions always speak louder and more honestly than words. How she reacts to your flirtatious touch or kiss will tell you a lot more about her feelings towards you than you spewing your heart out and hoping she feels the same. Pouring out your emotions at this stage just kills attraction. I think the only time you should be sharing your deep emotions with her is when she’s expressing at least some of hers with you. From the sound of things, you're still trying to make sense of mixed signals from her. She should be asking where she stands with you, which from the sound of things, she isn't. Even if she starts dropping hints or asking, I recommend revealing your position gradually instead of being upfront and voluntarily dumping everything that has built up in your heart on her at once. I know the temptation is there because you want her to know and feel the same, but if you spoon feed your emotions to her, she will appreciate you more.

 

As for how to transition out of the friend zone into a relationship, well the odds are stacked against you, but there is a possibility based on some of the positive signs you mentioned (her flirting back, etc.). Basically if you want her to consider you boyfriend material, you have to act like one towards her. You have to communicate with her in ways that make her see you as more than a friend. You seem to be on the right track, just try to keep your mouth shut when it comes to heavy serious subjects like your intense love for her. Light, fun, and somewhat unpredictable is the way to go. She already knows you're into her, let her see how much through your actions. You will have plenty of time to discuss your feelings later in the relationship. For this to become what you want, you have to pace it because like I said, even though you’ve known her for years, you don’t know her in this way yet.

 

Remember man, whenever you feel the need to tell her how much she means to you, realize that at this point it’s not your feelings that are determining whether this transition from friend to lover occurs or not, it’s her feelings towards you.

[D-Lish]

Anthony? Is that you??

[SexinmyCity]

You HAVE to talk to her! Time to take a chance, before it's too late.