Friends or Lovers?

[ATR]

(firstly i would like to say i am sixteen and i haven't ever had a proper girlfriend before, been asked out and said no. I just want a "proper" relationship. I think i may have found my S.O. )

 

Long story put short. I met this girl over a year ago now, there was instant attraction from the first time we met eyes with each other.

Since then I've talked to her nearly every other day on MSN and have her mobile number and text each other often.

So yesterday after a years wait we finally meet up in a massive shopping center. We saw a movie together, ate lunch together, chatted all the time and generally had a good time.

The problem is we didn't actually get up to anything. Didn't hold hands or kiss etc i think maybe i was expecting too much.

When we left each other it was a quick hug and goodbye.

As i am heading home on the bus i thought it would be cute (and cheesy:p) to leave her a text saying i miss her already.

She responds by saying, she wants to see me again and that she "likes me".

I tell her i like her allot too and we leave it at that.

Now here i am stuck at what to do... I sent her a text basically saying "is this us going out now?" (was that the right thing to do?) and she replied saying "it depends how you define going out".

Now do should i text her back saying "Would you like us to have a LDR?" or should i take the last hint as "nothing more than friends.

I want to see her soon and so does she back, should i wait till then?

 

Much help would be appreciated!

[Hoosier09]

Stop with the texting. Talk to her in person. She might not be totally honest over txt. It's a lot easier to misunderstand each other and can be misleading. It sounds like you guys have a great connection. Don't rush anything. Let her define the relationship. Just continue to hang out with each other. Let her take the lead I would say because you might feel more towards her than she feels towards you right now. Dont worry about kissing and holding hands. Just have a good time and those things will eventually come. Those things can complicate a relationship. Spend more time talking on the phone too That's always great. It sounds like you have a great thing happening for you. Just don't rush anything. I know it's your first relationship and it tempting but trust me, its better to go slow. You will develop a better love for each other. Good luck man.

[ATR]

Ok, thank you very much for the advice.

 

I haven't sent a reply to her yet but she just text me saying "But if you want:) x"

So she wants us to have a relationship? Or is she hiding something, does that sound like she's doing it to make me happy?

I would love to phone her instead of text, but she has told me that she has a phobia of speaking on the phone. I don't want to make her nervous by calling her. Do you think i should try web cam or something?

You say hang out with her more, that's the problem we live about 70miles away from each other and it is pretty expensive for us to meet up. This is the first time i have seen her since the July before last! However we have agreed to meet up more regularly:)

 

Once again, thanks for your help.

[Rollercoasterr]

It's nothing for me to have to drive 70 miles every day. My work is 40 miles away from my house. So trust me, while it does suck, 70 miles isn't THAT big of a distance.

 

And about her phone phobia thing. That sounds a little iffy to me because if you two had so much fun that day and she's saying that you can have a relationship if you want, then she should want to talk with you more than on text. And she's answering your questions very vaguely. She needs to tell you STRAIGHT UP what she wants out of this, and if SHE wants to be in a relationship, without giving you answers like she has been. Or actually, if she's the same age as you, maybe her parents wont want her to be dating a boy that lives so far away, and that might be the reason she doesn't want you to call. It's easy to hide texts, but not so easy to answer the "Who's on the phone?" question. Either way, you need to ask her what the deal is with all of her strange behavior, because it's unfair for you to get yourself emotionally involved with someone who isn't "available" the way you want them to be.

 

I would be very very careful with this one because it sounds as if maybe she's got something to hide. I hope that's not the case, but it's not looking too good.

[ATR]

Ok thanks for the honest answer.

I do not have a car, so it took me roughly 4hours to get to her which means we do not have much time in the day to hang out.

So what shall i say to her? "Yes i do want a relationship, but do you?":confused: Also her mum i apparently extremely strict. She lied to her mother about us meeting each other and told her that it was one of her other girl friends. She told me that her mum would worry about rape:eek: They do not get on well at all...

She is awaiting a reply to "But if you want" but i have no idea what to tell her:mad:

 

Girls girls girls:o

 

Edit: **** it i am just going to ask her "Do you want a relationship with me?"

[ATR]

I would just like to say, i did ask her out... via text and she did say yes:love: i can't describe how happy i am. I'm going to try and get us to start talking on the phone as i understand there is more connection.

 

Thanks for your help.