trixiegirlie Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 I'm so confused right now and I don't know what to do. I was dating a guy for 9 months and we fought all the time. We broke it off for 3 months and then got back together. Things were going great. Then he started acting strange a week ago. He got very quiet and didn't want to hang out with me. Then, on Sunday, after he had been out with friends all weekend, he came home and told me he was moving out. He says he's stressed out and he can't talk to me about it and that makes him uncomfortable around me. He is very angry with me and I don't know why. I can't figure out what I did. I left him alone for a few days, but he was calling me and saying mean things. Today I called where he is staying and left a message saying I was sorry he feels he can't talk to me, but that I love him and care about him. I've gotten no response from my message, but he did leave me a message on my cell phone about something trivial. He sounds so angry. My family and friends say to forget him, but how can I forget someone I love??? Link to post Share on other sites
serenityprayer Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 [font=century gothic][/font][color=black][/color]I'm no expert in the field of relationships nor in love, but from reading your post, my heart and sympathy goes out to you. It must hurt to have someone you consider your love treat you with such anger. It seems that you have an attachment to him which is perfectly normal, esp. since you spent about 9 months with him. It's so easy for people to tell you, "get over it. he's a jerk." but as most of us know, getting over people that we claim to love isn't that easy. I sometimes wish it could be... This is my suggestion to you: Define what love is. Define what it is and apply your current situation to it. For me, I define True Love as told in the bible in the Corinthians section. Often times when I find myself being miserable over some jerk that doesn't even love me, I read the scripture over to myself and clearly, that jerk is nowhere close to the definition of love. I observe people around me, including myself, and I realize that too many people, including myself allow themselves to be and stay miserable in the name of love. I pray that day by day you will become stronger and deal with your struggles face to face. Everyday is a battle..Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author trixiegirlie Posted August 14, 2003 Author Share Posted August 14, 2003 Thank you so muh for your kind words of encouragement. I often forget that the Bible is the best source to find definition and meaning in life. I will keep your words in mind as I move forward day by day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trixiegirlie Posted August 14, 2003 Author Share Posted August 14, 2003 I guess my confusion doesn't matter anymore since my ex left a message this morning saying that I should move on because he is "sort of interestedin someone else" Link to post Share on other sites
sunnie23 Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 my heart goes out to you girlie, the exact same thing happened to me. exactly-times and everything. i went out with my ex for 8 months, when he started behaving differently. we broke up and got back two months later. about a month went by and suddenly he was very mean to me-then one night we were on our way home and a girl approached him-suddenly they were together all the time and i got dumped. it's horrible when things fall apart, but just remember, you WILL love again, and it WILL be better next time. Link to post Share on other sites
amory62 Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 A very similar thing happened to me. My boyfriend began acting distant and quiet, and I was unable to figure out what exactly was going on. Of course, I immediately thought I might have something to do with his sudden disinterest. I realize that it is very hard to listen to the advice of others, because in all actuality, he has given a certain part of himself to you that he has and never will give to anyone else. You know him in a different way from others, and so might also be able to understand the situation better. However, it is often best to simply remove yourself from what is going on, and to try to see it from his point of view. If he truly is as stressed as he claims to be, he may feel that he needs some time to figure things out. If he really loves you, he may be afraid of hurting you. Perhaps this "other person" is an easy way out for him because he does not truly care for them as much. However, since I do not know him, I cannot say. My boyfriend was very open with me about what was bothering him, and it was a great relief to me to understand what was going on in his life. Unfortunately, your boyfriend is shutting you out. There is not much you can do, but give it a few weeks, and perhaps try contacting him again, with the casual request for lunch or just to talk. When he realizes that you can get along without him, he may see that you are truly an independent being, and not his responsibility, because that may be too much to take for him. Good luck with everything... I hope everything works out for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trixiegirlie Posted August 20, 2003 Author Share Posted August 20, 2003 I miss him so much this week I can feel it in my skin. I want to write him a letter and tell him my feelings, but I'm afraid it will backfire on me. I just lovfe him more than I can explain. It's so frustrating to love someone and not be with them. I keep hoping he will call me, but I'm scared that he might only call to tell me something I don't want to hear... Link to post Share on other sites
sunnie23 Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Hey, i don't know if you'd be in to this or not, but there are a few books that REALLY helped me through my breakup. In the Meantime, by Iyanla Vanzant. Another that will help you with your desire to contact him is Don't Call That Man! I'm not sure who the author is. But, if you're not into the self help stuff, next time you get the urge to call him, call your best friend. let him/her know that you'll be using them as a sort of "crutch" to get you through. Keep busy and pamper yourself. Do everything you really love to do. Remember that this breakup was caused by his issues, not yours. This is a process, allow yourself to grieve. I wouldn't advise calling him, you might stir up unneccessary emotions, he might take you back out of pity, or you'll set yourself back in the process of getting over it. Keep in mind it's a one step forward, two steps back thing and just because you feel bad one day, doesn't mean you won't feel great the next, and vice versa. My heart goes out to you, as i sit and remenise about my past heartbreak. *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
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