pinata Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 It has recently come to light that I am a self-sabotager. I've always prided myself on being happy and comfortable with myself, always loving myself and not beating myself up for things. Over the past couple of years, I've really seen myself not go anywhere at all. I procrastinate more than ever. I've stayed in bad relationships longer than necessary. I break up with good people and end healthy relationships abruptly. I say I'm going to save money and then go out and then blow it on things I don't need. I've never put it all together until now. I understand that recognizing this issue is a big step... I don't know how to stop myself from this. Especially in relationships. It's such a natural reaction to things... I turn against them so naturally I don't even realize I'm doing it. I always make up other excuses for why I do it. Link to post Share on other sites
nama Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I am like this too - but breaking the habit. The first step is to realise what you are doing - and you have done that. You are conscious of the habit. There are reasons why you do it - deeper reasons. My reason was that i had low self esteem - i didn't like myself. I thought that i was a failure and not a very nice person and because of this (i was preoccupied with this) deep down i felt i would get nothing out of life. Now, i've got rid of toxic things in my life, do things i enjoy and remember the compliments that i hear. All this has shown me that i'm just as good as the next person and deserve happiness too. Why do think you self-sabotage? Really think about this.... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 There are other possible reasons for procrastination and self-defeating behaviours, as well. If you want more ideas, scroll down to the "road blocks" on this page http://www.coping.org/growth/risk.htm . It offers quite a comprehensive list -- often what your eye or mind "jumps on" right away, is dead on target (so don't let your conscious mind interfere with what you want to learn about yourself, is the caution.) You may also find the "action steps" at the bottom of the article useful. The site appears to deal with procrastination under 'time managemen': http://www.coping.org/growth/time.htm Link to post Share on other sites
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