Noos Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 If a friend is good enough to sleep with and hang out with, why aren't they good enough to date? Isn't friendship the basis of a good relationship and physical attraction the decider of whether you want them as a girlfriend or boyfriend anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 As someone who has recently entered FWB territory, I would say - friendship and physical attraction do not automatically result in a relationship. I like my FWB and find him attractive but I don't/can't see myself with him long term. We're friends - good buddies, but he lacks a lot of the qualities I look for in a partner. It takes nothing away from who he is. He just isn't the one for me. Link to post Share on other sites
audrey_1 Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 All I can say that if a guy comes out and says that he wants to be FWB and deep down you know that you want more cut it off right then and there, bc it will be too hard to handle as your feelings grow. However you feel like Kamille than enjoy your FWB until you find someone you can see yourself with long term. For the most part, FWB is just a way of saying "hey you're not Mr. or Mrs. Right you're just Mr. or Mrs. Right Now and I'm just waiting for something better to come along." askmadamlilia.blogspot.com Yes, if there's any question you can't handle it, then don't do it. It will chip away at your self-esteem. I was in an FWB, but it has moved more to friendship. I'm the one who wanted more from the situation and am trying to lessen my feelings for him. I know what I'm talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
audrey_1 Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 If a friend is good enough to sleep with and hang out with, why aren't they good enough to date? Isn't friendship the basis of a good relationship and physical attraction the decider of whether you want them as a girlfriend or boyfriend anyway? In theory, but does this happen anymore? Probably not the way it should. Society is moving at a faster pace, everything is immediate with all the available technologies, so we assume/expect things to be this way with our fellow humans. Not so. FWBs can be dangerous unless the rules are truly communicated and agreed upon from the beginning. Without that, it leaves too much to interpretation and someone could get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 If a friend is good enough to sleep with and hang out with, why aren't they good enough to date? Isn't friendship the basis of a good relationship and physical attraction the decider of whether you want them as a girlfriend or boyfriend anyway? You would think wouldn't you? I agree with what Kamille said. FWB = I like you, but just not quite enough. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Not in today's society. Men don't want to or have to marry as much anymore and most are still acting like they are still in college. FWB is working great for them because they want sex with no commitment. My suggestion to women is to not have sex with them until you know and have discussed that you are in a one on one relationship. Don't assume because you slept together that you are a couple or you'll get hurt. Anyway, in a FWB situation the man isn't the only one getting what he wants, the woman wouldn't do it unless she wants sex also. So there's really no loser in this. Link to post Share on other sites
jen's mind Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Unless both parties are 100% satisfied with the FWB arrangement, it's really just benefits screwing up friendship. If the thought occurs to you, "How come I'm good enough to screw but not good enough to date?" it's a good indication that it's not working for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noos Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 Anyway, in a FWB situation the man isn't the only one getting what he wants, the woman wouldn't do it unless she wants sex also. So there's really no loser in this. Not sure I entirely agree. men want sex, women want the intimacy of sex. They're qualitatively different things. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 If a friend is good enough to sleep with and hang out with, why aren't they good enough to date? Isn't friendship the basis of a good relationship and physical attraction the decider of whether you want them as a girlfriend or boyfriend anyway? You're missing two key component: shared goals and compatibility. I may like someone and be attracted to them, but that doesn't mean we are compatible enough to be in a love relationship or that we want to be in a love relationship. Some people don't want that - people who are just out of divorces or other break-ups, people who are focused on career or are doing to much business travel to sustain a relationshp (I'll raise my hand here for past fwb's), people who are not age compatible for a long term relationship, etc. There are lots of reasons why someone might want the companionship and sex, but don't want to go any further. Link to post Share on other sites
cutegirl Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Not sure I entirely agree. men want sex, women want the intimacy of sex. They're qualitatively different things. Not really true, I'm a woman and I could care less about intimacy or romance, those things make me gag. IF I were in FWB type situation I would just want to get off. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Not sure I entirely agree. men want sex, women want the intimacy of sex. They're qualitatively different things. You know that's what men think. Most women I know (including myself) want the sex as much as the man. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Not really true, I'm a woman and I could care less about intimacy or romance, those things make me gag. IF I were in FWB type situation I would just want to get off. Wow, I thought I just heard my wife talking ..... Carry on Link to post Share on other sites
SexinmyCity Posted September 14, 2008 Share Posted September 14, 2008 Not sure I entirely agree. men want sex, women want the intimacy of sex. They're qualitatively different things. ouch! So true! Link to post Share on other sites
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