Noos Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I ahve the feeling that a guy friend deliberately sent me mixed messages recently. He took me out to dinner several times, kissed me, and had been flirting with me for months and months. He slept with me and then acted like it was friends with benefits. I think he deliberately created confusion to make me think he was serious about me and when, after 18 months of knowing him, working with him, seeing him socially and several dates, we sleep together and then he acted like oh, I only meant friends with benefits. Found out he was casually dating another girl around the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
Sw3etdev1L Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 my advice!!!... time for u to start loving yourself better. I mean, hvae some dignity. If he notices you changed..and are a little harder to get. Maybe, you'll revive the flame, the willingness of him to go after you and the interest to really get to know you. Right now, it sounds a little not good to me... I mean, sleeping with you, and going out with another girl? the only person who's getting benefit from that relationship is him, what about yourself? you can have a relationship with another person who will be 100% giving you the attention you deserve..why get the 50? and in hopes of more... Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Deliberate manipulation methinks. I've been in a similar situation. Don't let it go on any further. What do you want? A guy who wants you and only you. Ditch him until he's willing to be with you in the way you want. Don't get into a FWB situation if you want more from him. Every time he tells you about some other girl he's seeing, your heart will break a little bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 From what you've written, he didn't send you mixed messages or deliberately make you think he was serious about you. He's a friend...and now you two have benefits. I don't see where a relationship was discussed or implied. If YOU want a real relationship, it's up to YOU to make sure your personal boundaries (i..e., sex in this case) aren't crossed before a committed relationship is established, otherwise it's what it is: a FWB situation. You can NEVER assume that just because a guy is flirting with you and has sex with you that he wants a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I ahve the feeling that a guy friend deliberately sent me mixed messages recently. He took me out to dinner several times, kissed me, and had been flirting with me for months and months. He slept with me and then acted like it was friends with benefits. I think he deliberately created confusion to make me think he was serious about me and when, after 18 months of knowing him, working with him, seeing him socially and several dates, we sleep together and then he acted like oh, I only meant friends with benefits. Found out he was casually dating another girl around the same time. I don't know, did you guys say you were "a couple" after or before you slept with him? If these things weren't discussed then perhaps he thinks you both got what you wanted and no big deal. If the two of you didn't say you were exclusive I guess it's okay for him and you to still see other people. It seems like only several dates in 18 mos. doesn't sound much like you are dating exclusively. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 From what you've written, he didn't send you mixed messages or deliberately make you think he was serious about you. He's a friend...and now you two have benefits. I don't see where a relationship was discussed or implied. If YOU want a real relationship, it's up to YOU to make sure your personal boundaries (i..e., sex in this case) aren't crossed before a committed relationship is established, otherwise it's what it is: a FWB situation. You can NEVER assume that just because a guy is flirting with you and has sex with you that he wants a relationship. Exactly. Noos, refer to your thread from April. Same guy, same situation. It's time for you to set some ground rules and take charge of yourself. You can't reel in a guy who doesn't want to be reeled in. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t149364/ Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I do not think he gave you mixed messages, I think you made a wrong assumption! Link to post Share on other sites
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