do you feel like giving up too?

[Suiyobi]

There are times when I feel like giving up as well but you know it's just like riding a bike: You fall but you get right back up.

 

I'm almost 36 and I've been the ugly fat girl in the friend zone in my teens and twenties, the friend who is the confidante to the guy dating the Barbie doll because he can't talk to Barbie, the pity date, the attractor of lesbians (i'm straight), the invisible girl, the hot girl no one apporaches and then the hot friend used like a piece of meat when she thought he wanted a serious relationship.

 

I think I'm at the point where I've done everything i can to find someone, but i can't even find someone mediocre who won't lie to me, use me or betray me.

 

No male outside my dad, brother and two brothers-in-law have ever loved me, let alone given romantic love.

 

Is anyone else at this point? I'm giving up because emotionally, it's better for me - I can't take being burned again.

[audrey_1]

But I'm better now - I have heaps to offer a guy - I'm non clingy, have my own life, heaps of interests, my own money, my own house, better than average looks, dry sense of humour and am above average in intelligence. I have heaps of friends (some from childhood), a great, close family and I like to travel and go out, go to theatre, art galleries, movies, stand up comedy, etc.

 

I just don't understand why men don't recognise my worth.

 

This is me, too.

 

But I'm starting NC today with a guy who's been jerking me around for a year.

 

And now I'm going to do pilates for ME and only ME.

[spookie]

I think you are either sending out all the wrong vibes, or seeing only the bad types of men.

 

I've always been paranoid of someone cheating on me cause my dad cheated on my mom, but it hasn't happened yet in any of the relationships I've been in. In all but one, the guy wanted more commitment. And they were all pretty high-quality guys - just wrong for me for one reason or another. No total losers.

 

I'm not a barbie doll by a stretch, I don't flirt with guys at all, and I'm pretty quiet; which means that all the reasons you think men are rejecting you, are probably wrong.

 

Either your confidence is so low you seem bitter, and that's turning people away, or your standards are impossibly high.

[donnamorta]

Should you give up?

 

Simple answer, no. But give up on your way of thinking!

 

If you honestly feel this way about yourself, then you need to relax, stop thinking about it, stop caring what other people think of you, and spend time learning to see yourself as the person you want to be.

 

I only say this because think about how many people see themselves the same way you described. Most people think they have problems, especially women who are "gorgeous" or men who are "oh baby so fine". They have real issues with confidence and jealousy... why do you think their personalities are so edgy and mean? Because their personalities are fake, unwanted, and they usually find themselves with someone else equally fake and insincere.

 

All of my relationships with women were with the most beautiful, sincere, honest, loving women this world has to offer. Not because they actually were physically, but when you see these traits in yourself, feeling that way about someone else is simple. Just be happy

[wulfgar]

There are some whom God has called to singleness.

 

If you have this gift (and it sounds that you do) maybe you should just embrace it.

 

-----}--WG--{-----

[Sw3etdev1L]

First of all..You sound very depressed,you sound with a low self esteem, veeery urged, and angry at life!!!.

If you are not good with yourself, how do you want a good person coming into your life???

Stop!!!. I mean..how many girls would want to be free instead of being played by an idiot, or getting divorced at your aged, or trying to refresh their marriage because the marriage is dull and boring!!!.

You have to feel good with yourself. If you feel yourself as the fat whatever who was the second I don't know when being young...you can always decide your happiness. Nobody else but you, inside your head!!.. Go to a nutritionist, start doing sports..find yourself a good man, maybe in the gym!!!. and maybe you'll have a better man in your life, better than your guy friend. They say real health is...feeling good...Spiritually, mentally, phisically, socially and psychologically you know?:::

This is performed by: Working, doing something (a job), not being sedentary, having faith in g.d doesn't matter religion, being physically active (exercise), having a good perspective of life as long as you are healthy (appreciating what you do have, not being focused in the void of your feelings, but in what you DOOO have)...Another thing, take multivitamins!!!, if you don't have any circulatory problems or heart problems you can take OMEGA 3...it helps depression. Maybe you are lacking some kind of a supplement.

When you work at being happy, you do get responses.

There is a spanish phrase which says: "Matrimonio y Mortaja del cielo baja"...well, it means, marriage and death comes from heaven.

You don't have to think about it!!!.. finally, most men appreciate women who are not urged in finding a man, but woman who are usually so good with their lives that they are just a compliment not their whole world.

Hope I helped.

Finally, you have a destiny...open your heart to life..life will give you what you need in its adequate time. Stop worrying. Good luck!!

[Disillusioned]

Well, I've felt like giving up many times too... but then I realized if I gave up, that would just be a cop-out, and I'd be handing the Doubting Thomases victory like it was a gift. It would be just as easy (not to mention wrong) to dismiss all women as unloving.

 

I roll my eyes when someone says, "oh, it will just happen like magic, that one special person will find you." While that would make a great movie, a lot of single people would have to have ESP for it to be true. When was the last time you ever had some weird feeling that you wanted to drive across town or wherever, to some address you've never been to before, and knock on the door, knowing your future husband or wife was going to answer?

 

No... some people might call it cheating, but sometimes you have to give fate a push in the right direction. Right now, I can keep being alone and let depression have its way with me, or I can act on that idea of starting a singles group. Feelings are feelings, but no effort equals no reward. I don't want to give up, and I don't want any of you to give up either. Don't let the Doubting Thomases win.