vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 TBF, my father worked, and my mother stayed home. He was home everyday at 4. How is that being absentee? Maybe because they were European, they were smarter with money, which allowed my mother to stay home. This had many advantages. I did not have many toys, and video games. Just a ball. But I was active and healthy. Never 1 pound overweight. My mother always had energy to help with my homework, and was teaching me foreign languages when I was 10. My parents had time to keep an eye on me, while my schoolmates were smoking pot at 13, I was involved in training for sports. I did not eat pizza or fast food until I was 18. Not like all the little fat kids today eating garbage because mom is too tired from work. I can go on and on, and I am so thankful that my mom was not working to buy a BMW, or a bigger home. Or complaining that she is "bored". people today have forgotten what sacrifice is. And if you do not sacrifice, it leads to mediocrity. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Serial Muse, People get paid to work, because nobody wants to do those tasks for free. If you have nothing else better to do than work, in this entire world, then maybe you should become more interesting? I have dated plenty of career women that do nothing but whine about their job. I do not know what percentage love it, but I assure you it is not high. Sure, the selfish attitude. Neglect raising kids correctly, neglect everything so that you are happy. As long as you like going to work, who cares about your family. Do you think men that bring home the money LOVE spending most all of it on bills? Or should they be selfish and say they want a divorce, so they can buy a boat, a motorcycle, travel, and sleep with lots of women. Men sacrifice too. And A4a, the list i compiled was a very short one. Most women work just to break even on working, while the home and family falls into disarray. And it is complete brainwashing to believe a woman cannot get a job as she has no marketable skills after a marriage. I have known a few who have become quite successful in other non-traditional ways of making a living after a long departure from the work force. And sure, if you want to work while the man stays home, nothing wrong wqith that. But do not tell me for one second many women like that idea. Most women want security in a man, but also want to work for extra income, and to have the choice of working, not working, working part time etc. These are not choices men have. Wow, I don't really know what to say to you, vonerik. You turn everything around into such nastiness. I said I love my job, and you turn that into a selfish attitude, insinuate that it must make me a boring person because apparently it's the only fulfilling thing in my life (wait, when did I say that again?) and, of course, it also is an essentially unfeminine attitude. Good lord. Where on earth are you getting all of that?? I'm sorry, but you seem like a very hostile person, if that's how you chose to read my words. I'm defending my choices, not attacking yours. How about doing me the same courtesy? I don't get it. This whole thread is about whether or not a woman should feel okay about choosing her own path in life rather than having it chosen for her. That women should feel strongly about this issue is no surprise. But that men do seems odd to me. It's just not up to you, gentlemen. Sorry, but it's just not. And listen up. Choosing one's own path in life does NOT mean anything about how you treat your partner, either. It's not about an attitude toward men. In any way, shape or form. It's entirely possible to have a job you appreciate and want to go to, a loving partner and a happy family. Are there sacrifices? Well, of course. There are on both ends. But that's why it's up to the partners involved - not perfect strangers who need to impose their worldviews on others in order to validate them - to decide what sacrifices to make. Sheesh. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 LUV, If you have a teenager at home, and are divorced, obviously that is completely different. I am speaking of younger women who are just starting out. No scenario is perfect. But I am saying if you bring children into the world, the goal should be to do what is optimum for them. Not yourself. male or female. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Sorry, men and women are different. We expect different things. Why do you want to insist men and women are exactly the same? And have the same needs, goals, and desires? You have a job.. Do all the people do 5% of everyone else's job just to feel good? Are the accountants doing some sales? And the attorneys doing some marketing? And the sales people doing some cleaning, and some legal work? I just feel it is sad if 2 people go into a marriage, just partially. Is the woman still working just in case it does not work out? Should the man be stashing money away behind his wives back in case it does not work out? Some of you act as if I am saying the woman should be doing all the work. I am actually willing to do more of the sacrifice in all ways, so that my wife and family can have a better, more enjoyable, care free life. That is who I am as a man, and that would be hard for me to change. I do not like the idea of a woman working to pay bills, while my kids are in day care with strangers. yes, it would be best oif both people worked part time. But how often can that occur? Maybe if I was born in Sweden. Dude people die too..... or are disabled..... struck with illness. Being able to know you can care and are ABLE to care for yourself and family is vital for both men and women. And PEOPLE ARE ALL DIFFERENT - some woman want to travel the world - some want kids and are happy shopping and baking - some hate vanilla ice cream......... some throw taters. That doesn't make them wrong or right. Financially providing for a family can be just as satisfying for a woman as it is for a man.... and just as needed. Just like nuturing a child can be just as important to a man as it is a woman. Hell you are more "womanly" than I am. Kids in day care do just fine..... Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 LUV, If you have a teenager at home, and are divorced, obviously that is completely different. I am speaking of younger women who are just starting out. No scenario is perfect. But I am saying if you bring children into the world, the goal should be to do what is optimum for them. Not yourself. male or female. Okay so if the wife can earn and has the potential to earn more than the man........ the man should stay home and focus on the kids???? Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Where is the OP by the way--never came back! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Tomcat, if shoes and starbucks is more important than your family, please do not get married. It's not the only thing that matters to me, it is a nice addition to be able to afford life's material pleasures while also aspiring to be a great lover, mom, career woman, PTA member, etc. I don't live in a remote town where I have to collect water for my young via a mud vase that I must carry on my head and tread up the hill to my hut. I live in a western society with western rules, and western appeals. I chose to live in this society, and therefore I also enjoy all the perks that this society has to offer me, be it material intellectual or purely for entertainment reasons and the harsh reality is that a lot of things you must pay for and I don't wait around for a sugar daddy to offer me a good blanced life, I sought that out on my own. How I balance the material aspects with my spiritual needs in my particular life is up to me really. And tomcat fr the record, I never said trade a woman in. Thats just dumb. I said IF I married an older woman, when i was younger surely I would. If I marry a woman a couple years younger, or my age, I am not so shallow to trade her in after building a life together. But, you have nothing to say if you cannot twist others words. Please I am not twisting anything around, you are the one that with great zeal posts the articles from some psychiatrist's blog stating that mid life crisis happens to men that marry women the same age as themselves, and feel the need to trade them in whe they get to their mid life because they are not as attractive as themselves (or some other crap along those lines) . They neet to marry women significantly younger so that when they get to be in their 40's they won't have a this "urge" to have a mid life crisis. Shall I dig up the post where you insisted that? Give me a few minutes and I'll dig it up! Or do you just change your opinions from day to day, if that's the case then that's fine you are most certainly allowed to change your opinions no problem there, but don't accuse me of twisting your words around when they are indeed YOUR words/thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 And, just to remind you, this thread was begun by a woman who say the rest of us women should "know our place" which, according to her definition, is on our knees sucking our husband's cock, even if we feel like crap. I have yet to see one word typed by you that makes it clear that you understand how that could piss us off. Her condescending attitude, all the while denegrating herself and wishing to "do" other men. Simmer down woman....... suck a weiner you will feel better! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Where is the OP by the way--never came back! I suspect this thread took some turns she wasn't expecting it to! It's got a life of its own, now. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I have never been so sick that I could not have sex, in my entire life. Why is the "headache" always mentioned? I agree with her point of view, much more than other things I have read on this thread. It shows she is willing to sacrifice to bring pleasure to someone else. How is that bad? I am willing to sacrifice. What is so wrong? It seems many of you are saying you should have a husband, yet also only do what pleases you, when it pleases you. Then do not get married, and you can do whatever you like, anytime you like. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I am willing to sacrifice. What is so wrong? It seems many of you are saying you should have a husband, yet also only do what pleases you, when it pleases you. Nobody has ever actually said that, though. Except you. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 It's not the only thing that matters to me, it is a nice addition to be able to afford life's material pleasures while also aspiring to be a great lover, mom, career woman, PTA member, etc. I don't live in a remote town where I have to collect water for my young via a mud vase that I must carry on my head and tread up the hill to my hut. :lmao: If some man in a village offered you love and marriage and the above in bold.... you certainly should comply! That way you would truly be satisfied and feel loved. TSK TSK....... you don't know true happiness until you carry water on your head to a hut for your family. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 It's not the only thing that matters to me, it is a nice addition to be able to afford life's material pleasures while also aspiring to be a great lover, mom, career woman, PTA member, etc. I don't live in a remote town where I have to collect water for my young via a mud vase that I must carry on my head and tread up the hill to my hut. I live in a western society with western rules, and western appeals. I chose to live in this society, and therefore I also enjoy all the perks that this society has to offer me, be it material intellectual or purely for entertainment reasons and the harsh reality is that a lot of things you must pay for and I don't wait around for a sugar daddy to offer me a good blanced life, I sought that out on my own. How I balance the material aspects with my spiritual needs in my particular life is up to me really. Please I am not twisting anything around, you are the one that with great zeal posts the articles from some psychiatrist's blog stating that mid life crisis happens to men that marry women the same age as themselves, and feel the need to trade them in whe they get to their mid life because they are not as attractive as themselves (or some other crap along those lines) . They neet to marry women significantly younger so that when they get to be in their 40's they won't have a this "urge" to have a mid life crisis. Shall I dig up the post where you insisted that? Give me a few minutes and I'll dig it up! Or do you just change your opinions from day to day, if that's the case then that's fine you are most certainly allowed to change your opinions no problem there, but don't accuse me of twisting your words around when they are indeed YOUR words/thoughts. Tomcat, that entire thread was about older women marrying younger men. And thinking it is natural, and normal. I have not changed any of my opinions. I stated numerous times I would not marry an older woman, and I would not have to trade a woman in, because she will be my age or younger. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 It's her entire demeanor about the whole thing. Like if she doesn't suck his cock, their marriage is over. It's her "duty" to pretend she's just fine and dandy so he can sit back, fat and happy, while she suck, sucks away. Hell, he could just buy one of those blow up dolls with the mouth shaped like an O and get the same. Big f'ing deal. Well the other extreme deals with women who lose all interest in sex. So she gives 5 minutes of her day to suck. Wow, how horrible. At east she is trying. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Where is the OP by the way--never came back! She is busy with a BJ probably. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 As a woman, I'm willing to sacrifice my time and earn way more than your average man so any future family can live in the lifestyle they're entitled to. This is my sacrifice! For certain I won't give up my freedom for a husband that nags or expects me to be a brown-kneed vacuum cleaner. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I hope the OP while performing her "duties" every night, never has a cold and sneezes, or has a coughing attack or her husband might be missing a vital part.:eek: Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 As a woman, I'm willing to sacrifice my time and earn way more than your average man so any future family can live in the lifestyle they're entitled to. This is my sacrifice! For certain I won't give up my freedom for a husband that nags or expects me to be a brown-kneed vacuum cleaner. TBF, so you won't mind marrying a man who stays home? Or do you need material wealth, and that is most important? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 TBF, so you won't mind marrying a man who stays home? Or do you need material wealth, and that is most important? The more I think about it, the more the idea of a SAHH who gives daily oral on his knees, sounds better and better. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Apparently you can never envision a relationship in which both partners are happy. Sad, that. Maybe making her husband feels good makes her happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 TBF, my father worked, and my mother stayed home. He was home everyday at 4. How is that being absentee? Maybe because they were European, they were smarter with money, which allowed my mother to stay home. This had many advantages. I did not have many toys, and video games. Just a ball. But I was active and healthy. Never 1 pound overweight. My mother always had energy to help with my homework, and was teaching me foreign languages when I was 10. My parents had time to keep an eye on me, while my schoolmates were smoking pot at 13, I was involved in training for sports. I did not eat pizza or fast food until I was 18. Not like all the little fat kids today eating garbage because mom is too tired from work. I can go on and on, and I am so thankful that my mom was not working to buy a BMW, or a bigger home. Or complaining that she is "bored". people today have forgotten what sacrifice is. And if you do not sacrifice, it leads to mediocrity. Listen hun, in my teens I lived abraod for a few years they had transfered my father to another country for work and we lived there for 4 yrs. Well in this neighbourhood where we lived all the women were stayhome moms so was my mother for the most part or at least during this period of our lives, and the kids that lived next door to us two boys were obese, all the kids in the neighbourhood used to make fun of them. Another girl three doors down was also chubby, I would eat at their place every so often we were friends their food was no different than what we had for dinner every day and their mother was a stay at home mom yet guess what, both she and her brohter were rather on the chubby side. To say that kids are chubby because they have working moms is ridiculous. My sister is a working mom and so is my SIL and guess what, they don't have malnutirtioned kids, they have active, healthy kids. I know that European attitude of "smart with money" when only one parent works, it's called "we don't give presents at birthdays because it is not accustomed in my house". Or we never went to see a play, or a concert, or a restaurant because mom can make just a good a dinner at home (which she does day in day out BECAUSE IT IS HER JOB), or to see a Disney movie as a family instead we stay home to watch Shindler's List is playing on the history channel, "ohhhh yaaaay joy for me and my 7yr old brother" Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Well the other extreme deals with women who lose all interest in sex. So she gives 5 minutes of her day to suck. Wow, how horrible. At east she is trying. She is trying to not be tempted into an affair or cheating..... If one starts to think about cheating they certainly are missing satisfaction in their relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 The more I think about it, the more the idea of a SAHH who gives daily oral on his knees, sounds better and better. Then find that. At least the children will not suffer due to parents chasing matrerialistic wealth. But we all know you want a guy with "status", and most likely will not admit that on this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Maybe making her husband feels good makes her happy. Just like my SAHH who gives daily oral would be happy? I think he'll be deliriously happy. He can change nappies all day, wiping up drool and poop, then make himself pretty for when I come home from work. I expect that he'll give daily oral on command, maybe a few times a day. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Tomcat, that entire thread was about older women marrying younger men. And thinking it is natural, and normal. I have not changed any of my opinions. I stated numerous times I would not marry an older woman, and I would not have to trade a woman in, because she will be my age or younger. So why did you present an article that stated that only men that marry women the same age as themselves go through midlife crisis? Duhh! Link to post Share on other sites
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