2SidestoStories Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 Wasn't sure where to post this, but anyone who's been through a divorce that involved two (very) small children, if you have suggestions for me as to how to approach the subject with them, I'd certainly appreciate it. My eldest is 4 this Saturday, and my son is just an infant. My daughter is very intelligent, and of course has picked up on the stress of everything that has been happening. She doesn't ever ask about her father, so I'm not sure what to tell her in terms of "daddy not being here anymore..." Any thoughts? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 Ugh, I don't envy you the task you've got ahead of you, because it's a tricky situation. The good news is, with a 4yoa, you don't have to get deep, a simple explanation will do, like, "daddy doesn't live here because we're not married anymore." chances are, she'll accept that answer and go on to another subject, it's when you try to over-explain or waffle that little ones torment you with questions you really don't want to answer ... a bit of advice here: no matter how awful things are or were with your ex, don't slam him in front of his child. Both my sisters got divorced about the same time 10 years ago, and they chose different ways to handle it. The younger one considered her ex a prime jackass, but never told her boys that, instead encouraged them to love their daddy. Eventually they got to see for themselves what kind of man he was, and formed their own opinions. Our oldest sister maligned her ex in front of anyone who would listen, going so far as to tell the kids that their father never loved them, never wanted them, and even though they're married with kids of their own, they're still hurt by what she did, and they never really had a chance to form an independent opinion of the guy, just base their feelings on the horrible stuff their mother told them. I think of the two, the sister with the two boys handled it the best way. If a child's dad is a jerk, sooner or later that kid will see it, and it's better that way; if you badmouthe the guy, your child isn't going to trust anything you say. Link to post Share on other sites
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