Whats wrong with my wife, or is it me?

[jacob555]

I was looking maybe to get some advice, hopefully from females. I have been married to my wife for 3 years now, but we have 5 year old twins. Our sex life is horrible now. We have sex about once a week, and probably 2 out of 3 times it is pitty sex. My wife has to be in the mood before hand if anything great is going to happen. She is very basic when we have sex, mitionary only. Before she had the kids, we did it in many ways, now for her it is just a race to have an orgasm when she is in the mood, and a when she is not it is a "hurry up and cum". She sais every once in a while (once a week or so) she is in the mood, but she is not motivated to have sex. Light porn is something that gets her in the mood but afterwards she seem disgusted with herself that she watched it and tells me never again, throw the porn away. Just some background, she does not feel like I help out around the house but I do do the dishes, vacuum occationaly, take care of the kids when she is cleaning... But it doesnt matter what I do, she will still say I do nothing. She quit her job with the understanding that she would start doing more around the house and work part time, she works probably 10-15 hours a week, has my mom watch the kids durring the day, still does nothing around the house and complains to me that I dont do enough. I recently broke my leg and have been on crutches for the last two months and she is constanly angry at me for not helping out on the things I cant do now. On the contrary when she takes time to just lay around and watch T.V. or just relax(for a long time, she becomes very affectionate (not in a sexual way) telling me how she loves me and such. I guess I am asking two things, what can I do to improve my sex life and two does my wife still love me.

[quankanne]

sounds like she's overwhelmed and frustrated at all the duties entailed with being a stay-at-home mom of two small children. And believe me, no matter what you do, she probably will want to go back and make sure you did it "right," (i.e., her way), so that frustrates her even more. maybe you guys can sit down one evening and draw up a list of chores that seems fair to the both of you, then go above and beyond what you come up with. That would go a long way in helping her see just how much you do pitch in.

 

as for your sex life ... well, I've been told that having kids changes everything, and I suspect that women who are moms tend to identify themselves as mama and wife first and foremost, so that everything else falls by the wayside. And if she feels that every overture you make toward her must end up in sex, she's not going to feel very good about it when she's got fifty million other things on her mind! Maybe going back to courting her would be a good idea? Kind of let her know you are interested in her, not just nailing her.

[moimeme]

still does nothing around the house

 

I wouldn't sleep with you if you had that attitude. Here's a clue; send your wife to a spa for a couple of days and you stay home with the twins. Men who have done this quickly stop their 'she doesn't do anything around the house' BS. You clearly have no clue how much work she is doing.

 

I do do the dishes, vacuum occationaly, take care of the kids when she is cleaning

 

Oh wow. You're in line for Husband of the Year you are. NOT. Laddie, get a clue. There is a TON of work to be done around the house when you have kids and a husband to take care of and your utter lack of understanding about this stinks. I'm surprised she has sex with you at all.

[midori]

I think quankanne & moimeme have hit it on the head. Don't be put off by the fact that some of us are chastising you. I think you've got an unrealistic picture of how things are for your wife, and how much you're actually contributing.

 

Originally posted by jacob555

take care of the kids when she is cleaning...

 

So the kids are her responsibility unless she is actively engaged in work that prevents her from watching them. Think about that for a minute.

 

You mention that your mom helps watch the kids in the daytime, but you also mention that your wife works part-time ... so your mom's help isn't exactly to relieve your wife of watching the kids, it's to allow her to earn some money. Right?

 

It kind of sounds like you've got it in your head that your duties primarily consist of working for a wage/salary, and that home & kids are primarily your wife's responsibility -- but you're nice enough to lend a helping hand when you can. With that attitude I can see why you'd be baffled by your wife's resentment.

 

But stop and think about it: you put in a 40 hour week at work (or maybe more like 50 hours?), and then put in another 5 hours or so at home each week. Total: 55-60 hours of work each week, excluding weekends. But what about your wife? If she's working outside the home for 15 hours each week, let's spread that out and say 3 hours each day at her part-time job. Then maintaining the house, doing grocery shopping, cooking, and watching the kids for the rest of the day (not to mention getting them up, dressed and fed before the "workday" officially "begins"), that would amount to, what, another 11 hours or so each day. Basically a 14-hour day for her, or about 70 hours of work each week, excluding weekends.

 

What you ought to do is make up a schedule of your days, and figure out what percentages of your time, and your wife's time, is devoted to work: in the home and out. Watching the kids is work, not downtime. Watching the kids while trying to perform other work is very stressful and makes other chore take twice as long.

 

Taking care of 3 small children is a LOT of work. A lot. I don't know if you have looked into childcare for your children, but if you did you would see that good childcare -- heck, even merely adequate childcare -- is very expensive. Wanna know why? Because it's incredibly labor intensive.

[aries]

I just wanted to respond to the husband because I am a stay at home mom. I have a two year old who is about to turn three and believe me she is a handful, and that is just one child. The only time I have time to myself is when the grandparents want to take my child occasionally on the weekends for a day or maybe to spend the night. When that does happen we usually take that time to spend with our good friends who we do not get to see very often. I do everything around the house, bills, dishes, cleaning, feed the pets, dinner, etc., and take care of her while everything else is going on. My husband will take out the trash, but get this he won't even put a new trash bag in the can when he gets done.

 

I had a great job, but after she was about 9mths we both decided that me staying at home was best for her(I felt so guilty about leaving her at daycare when she was that young, I stayed home with her until she was 4mths old then went back to work and then quit. Plus daycare is really expensive and to me it just did not make sense to basically work to pay for daycare.)

 

My husband has a wonderful career that sometimes demands working over time and some weekends. I guess I cut him some slack because of that. I love my husband but after being with her all day which can be emotionally draining because she wants my attention at all times and then when he gets home he will play with her but at this time I am cooking dinner and picking up the house for the 3rd time of the day. After dinner I put her to bed and by then I am exhausted, and a lot of times he will have already fallen asleep on the couch watching T.V. It is really hard to give to someonelse because I am so tired myself and I may have a good 1 1/2 to just relax and take a breather.

 

I think most husbands have a total miss-conception about what is going on in the household during the day. I get on the computer for about an hour maybe a little longer while she is watching cartoons. I have already been distracted about 5 times since I have been typing. The rest of the day is cleaning, going to the store, playing with her, and whatever else comes up. It's not easy. Sometimes I just crave adult conversation. Do not get me wrong, I love being a stay at home mom. I just get tired of men and some women who think it is just a cakewalk and all I do is sit around and watch soap operas and eat bon bons. Our sex life suffers also but I do not know what men expect. It's not that I do not want to be with my husband but at times I am physically and emotionally exhausted.

 

We are getting ready to move to where my husband is working. We just bought a house and we have been staying with family while we have waited until our other house has sold and until we found a new one. I plan to put her into part-time daycare because she is older now and I think she needs it socially although being with me she already knows her ABC's, colors, can count to 15 and many other things that I know she probably would not have learned this early if she was in daycare.

 

I suggest that you do what some of the other people have said on this thread but I also suggest maybe allowing her to use a mothers day out program, maybe once or twice a weak. I know of one that charges $14 from 7:30am-2:30pm. I think that is pretty reasonable for her to keep her sanity. I do believe that you taking the time to write and ask what you should do deserves some applause even though I still think you will never understand what she goes through each day. I wish my husband would do the same.

 

As for the sex, I know men need it more than women and I do feel guilty when I am just not in the mood and I hate having sex just to have it. But we both created this life and there is some sacrifice involved when you bring another being into this world. I know this will not last forever, as she gets older she is getting more responsible and able to do more and more on her own. Just be patient and help your wife out a little more. Let her know that you realize(even if you do not) how hard her days are. If you have time pamper her a little and you would probably be really suprised at the results. Let her know how much you appreciate the sacrifices she has made to be a wonderful mother. These are the things we need to hear at this time in our life. Marriage is a partnership and one person can't do it all without there being consequences.

 

As I said before, I think you asking for advice shows that you are concerned and I think you are on the right track. Put in the extra effort and I am sure things will get much better.

 

Support Always,

Aries

[mamabarrett]

As a mother of 4 year old twins myself, I can tell you that there is something "wrong" with both of you. I just returned from a four day trip that was my FIRST time away from the twins since they were born. I also work part time (30 hours a week) and their father works an opposite schedule from mine so that one of us can be home with the children and not put them into childcare. Let me tell you, there is a LOT of work that is involved in running a household and taking care of twins. And its not like having two single children of different ages; its EXPONENTIALLY more involved. Two baths, two meals, two children cranky and demanding, two children to dress, sibling disputes to mediate, twice the noise and activity, twice the personalities. And then, there is the housework. The laundry, the dishes, the mopping, the tidying, the bills, the scheduling....let me ask you....do you wash windows? Do you realize that windows need washing sometimes? Do you know how many dirty handprints are resultant from twin action? I bet your wife does. My husband and I are on the verge of separation and I will tell you why. Its because there is no balance in our duties and there is no compassion on his part when it comes to me. I am TIRED. SO TIRED. I am the first one up with the kids in the morning and the one that puts them to bed at night. I am the one they want when they are unhappy or in need of emotional soothing. Or have owies. His response is "Well, they don't want me. They want you" (or else he'd help, I suppose). When is the last time you brought your wife flowers, or gave her a backrub, or put the twins in the stroller at 7:00 am and left her a note saying "Sleep in, take a bath, take care of you...". I can tell you that I used to ask for that and never got it. Not once in 4 years have I been allowed to sleep in. When I finally flew back East for the 4 days I can tell you that I missed no one. Being that exhausted can do that for you.

 

The answer to your question? There is very definitely something wrong with both of you and you better step up and take some additional responsibility and start a little pampering for your wife or you too will be headed for separation. HIRE A SITTER. HIRE TWO FOR THE NIGHT. Don't just tell your wife you love her, show her. She needs time off. From everything. I guarantee you that she has nothing left to give and she needs to find that extra space to love herself and all of you again. She sounds bitter and a little overdone. If you love her and she loves you and you want a healthy, loving relationship, give her 100% of your energy for awhile and then as much as you possibly can after that. Its like running a marathon every day with twins and when there is no one to hand you a water bottle and tell you that you did a wonderful job, you just don't feel supported. And day after day of that, you wonder if you are running the race alone. Be her cheerleader and she will be yours when she feels whole again. Good luck, I wish you the best, truly, because I know firsthand what the stress level in your home is like.

[HokeyReligions]

I may have a little different perspective. My husband stays at home and I work. While we no longer have any human children, we do have five K-9 kids and because we have a couple of fighters they have to be "rotated" out of their kennels all day - so every hour one set of dogs must be kennelled and another set come out. They need some quality time with their daddy and must be let out and fed and watered. That's pretty stressful for my husband because he can't concentrate on anything for any length of time - the dogs constantly interrupt him and want to play or want a hug or something! Just like having little kids around demanding attention.

 

I used to gripe at him because he never does anything around the house unless I harped on him. I was upset that I was working all day and he should have been taking care of things. He, on the other hand, griped at me because he said I come home from work, sit down and eat the dinner he fixed, and either get on the computer, watch TV or go read.

 

Well, we listed out every thing that we do and, except for having to take care of the dogs every day, we both went on strike for a while just to show each other, and ourselves, what we did. We were both surprised. He didn't realize that I did laundry several nights a week, or that he always had fresh towels in the bathroom, or that he could always find what he needs in the den, even though he never puts anything back. (We had a dandy fight about the lost remote to the TV during the "strike")

 

Sometimes it actually does help to sit down and write out a list. Something else that may help both of you is to read Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. I know this is an old "fad" book, but there are some chapters that talk about sex after children, and the different types of sex and how not to feel guilty. I don't remember all of it, but one part talked about "fast-food" sex and "gourmet" sex. She would have fast-food sex with him because he was really in the mood and she loved him enough to do it even though it wasn't so fulfilling for her or take as long. Instead of him feeling guilty - he would enjoy the sex and felt so loved because he knew that was the reason she was doing it at all - because she loves him. They both also knew that when they were both in the mood, not tired and wrung-out emotionally or physically, they would take the time for gourmet sex. He would hold himself back and concentrate on making her feel good. They eliminated the "guilt" factor. I can't explain it as well as the book, but it was something that kinda hit-home with my husband and I.

 

Don't forget, women can experience performance anxiety too. If you two can't solve the problem with more open and in-depth communication, then I would suggest a counselor to help you figure this out. It is definatly a hurdle you can both overcome.

[davep]

Its both of you.

Hope you get it worked out.

anyone who's been around the block a time or two knows that life's tough with young children. Then it gets tougher when they're older.

 

Then, you get sick and die, penniless, and miserable.

 

Ray Barrone's dad said it best.

 

"I go outside and look up at the stars..and pray for a comet to swoop down and bring me sweet relief"

 

 

LOL

[davep]

A prior post:

 

"The answer to your question? There is very definitely something wrong with both of you and you better step up and take some additional responsibility and start a little pampering for your wife or you too will be headed for separation. HIRE A SITTER. HIRE TWO FOR THE NIGHT. Don't just tell your wife you love her, show her. She needs time off. From everything. I guarantee you that she has nothing left to give and she needs to find that extra space to love herself and all of you again."

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

In other words..her misery and yours.. is YOUR responsibility.

So YOU must DO something to FIX it.

 

(The message did not include

"AND ANOTHER THING. If YOU feel badly..it's also YOUR responsibility to fix that")

 

You need, as a relatively young husband, to understand- that this is evidently part of the female life plan.

 

See, it is established- and confirmed by other females, that YOU are responsible, and that YOU must do something to fix it, now.

 

This dovetails with the life plan, so that later in life, (about age 38 or so) when you think you've given, done the right things, and tried your best, that you can experience the "I don't want want you to fix everything for me" stage.

 

At that time, you will be educated about the fact that she needs space, and that she always hated that you always tried to fix everything for her. You'll be pleased to learn that she resents you for it. Which creates anger. And of course..because she's angry...not much more sex than youre having now. So just forget that.

 

When you think you understand and have apologized.. (what more can one do?)

You'll find out that you also wouldnt let her grow, and that you always tried to manipulate her. And.. the female mantra" "all you care about is sex."

 

Of course, we know that if all we cared about was sex, it would be about 15 minutes and about $50.. or $300 for a model. If all we cared about was sex, it would be easier and cheaper to buy it. But that logic is useless with a female..because it destroys the ability to use the mantra.

 

Understand, buddy, from here on out, youre a sinsiter and evil creature.

And, how you could do this to a sweet young girl is unbelievable.

Also, you will be pleased to know that you always disappoint her.

Shes angry with you, from years ago...so just forget sex..that goes without saying.

 

In the end, you can traipse off to counseling, get some Zoloft, read about menopause, and hope she chills out someday. Or wait for a comet to come down and whisk you away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hey...remember when your buddies were joking about "your life being over" when you told em you were getting married??

 

Remember how the females got so upset that they would dare say such a thing? Same thing, posting this stuff here.

 

They typically have no real interst in helping you.

They identify with the poor sweet creature you left in chains at home and want to direct you to making her feel better- sort of vicariously fixing their own husbands, I guess.

 

Welcome to the nightmare, pal.. get in line.. it forms back there.

We have a pool going on the comet's date and time if you'd like to participate.

 

 

[jenny]

i had no idea misogyny had a manifesto. thank goodness it's so poorly written.

[davep]

Glad you enjoyed it.

Perhaps be more observant, and you won't be caught off guard next time.

[jenny]

i did, actually. i also really liked your idea of marriage as being simply unneccesary - now that women can earn their own way in the world, it is an archaic model.

 

i don't know what has happened in your life, but i'm sorry about it. many women are not like the ones you describe, though some are, i imagine. but surely as an innovative thinker, you have some other response than detailed bitterness and grandiose assumptions?

 

i'm not interested in a flame war. i'd rather know what happened with you, specifically, to make you feel this way.

[moimeme]

In other words..her misery and yours.. is YOUR responsibility.

 

Hoo boy. These words are usually spoken by someone who has no capacity to count how much she has done and is already doing and how little he may be doing for his part. Here is where the 'score counter' comes in.

[mamabarrett]

One other thing that I didn't include that might be helpful in actually answering your question...I don't know if this is true for your wife, but having twins (any pregnancy really) puts an incredible amount of strain on a woman's body and for myself, I find many sexual positions make me feel self conscious, insecure and unattractive. Where I was comfortable doing just about anything before I got pregnant, we were told to abstain from sex during a complicated first trimester and after the twins were born, I had stretch marks all over my tummy and breasts (which no longer settle in any youthful fashion whatsoever), gained a lot of weight and feel much more like a baby factory than a sex kitten. It seems like we just never have the privacy or make the time to get back into a comfortable groove. I still love my husband deeply and feel a bond with him that I've never had with previous lovers or boyfriends and feel so hopeful for our relationship when he does something selfless and nice for me (for example, when you let your wife rest on the couch even though its longer than she maybe usually gets allowed to). It sounds perfectly natural to me that this would evoke many "I love you"s from her. And they are probably very sincere. I hope you are not resigned to your relationship remaining this way, as I'm sure you married her for her personality more than just her sexual ability and try wooing her again. Despite lengthy discussions about separating, my husband and I are talking about what we can do to accommodate each others needs. There is still hope for us and I hope you take some steps to keep your relationship with your wife from reaching the breaking point that our relationship has reached. Statistics for couples with twins and triplets show that divorce rates are much higher and you can understand why. As for some of the postings after my first response...well ...I'm sure you can weed out the ones that are genuine and the ones who are taking advantage of a platform upon which they can vent their frustrations with, ultimately, themselves.

[sumdude]

Yikes, with very little background some of you ladies are immediuatly blaming the man here. On the flip side once a week ain't so bad with a pair of kids around. So count your blessings, talk to your wife and cut a middle of the road deal that will work for both of you. She probably is working harder than you think but since I'm not there I won't make any assumptions unlike some other folks who might take thier issues into some else's life.

[BadMan]

I hate when I come home and my wife is bitchy because she felt like she had a hard day.

Please. I have watched our baby a lot and it's a cinch. I'd rather do that than go to work.

I go to work everyday so that she and the baby have a nice place to stay and food to eat and

she still complains.

[aries]

Well, from the responses that you received from the men in this thread, it sounds like you should divorce because your going to be miserable no matter what. Great advice for your fellow man!!!

 

I think some men find it humorous to say things that will get women upset as in davep's post. I think all of us women have seen his type, no wonder his marriage is failing with that attitude.

 

What you have got so far are a few women who are in similar situations who have given you some ideas of what they would like to receive from their own husbands. I did not see any male bashing here, just women who were detailing their situation because it sounds a lot like your own. I know that my husband has valid complaints about me, noone is perfect in a marriage, but you asked what you should do, and I believe your open to ideas other than misguided slurs.

 

To davep:

I think is is pretty pompous to say that a male's life has ended because of marriage. What about the female, do you think that marriage isn't a ball and chain for us also at times?

[Rnu69]

My wife used to **** everyone but now doesnt do me!!!!!

[choke]

Hey Jacob,

I’ve been in your situation, and frankly I think you’re getting a lot of bull**** answers that will not help you at all.

 

I work full time. My wife works part time and cares for our 2 boys. For years, she felt I was lazy, inconsiderate, and worthless and I thought she was ungrateful, frigid, and hateful. Pretty good relationship, huh?

 

I thought that because I did X amount of housework and helping with the kids, didn’t screw around and told he I loved her that I was great husband. She thought that because she took care of the house, fed me and cared for the kids and let me ‘have my way’ when I wanted that she was a great wife. But neither of us ever came out and directly stated what was important to each of us.

 

My wife needed to hear that she was needed and that what she did was appreciated. That’s all. She needed to know that I valued her. She needed to be shown a higher than average amount of respect, and I wasn’t giving that to her.

 

I needed to feel that she wanted to be sexual with me, that she loved and desired me, and she wasn’t providing that.

 

This is an over-simplification, but you get the point. It’s not what YOU think you should be doing for your wife and it’s not what any one else thinks you should be doing, but what is important to your wife. You could be doing everything in the world except for what she needs, and it’s like you are doing nothing in her eyes. The same goes for her, she needs to KNOW what’s important to you so that she can provide it. Right now, sex is probably not important to her so she thinks it shouldn’t be that important to you. Somehow, you are doing the same thing to her.

 

The answer is actually very simple Bro, once you each know what the other needs to make them happy, you do it and you both make each other happy. The more this occurs, the happier you will both be. The happier you both are, the happier you want to make your spouse. Create that upward spiral Bro.

 

Quit asking us what you should do and go ask your woman. Then go make her happy Bro.

[VivianLee]

Originally posted by choke

Hey Jacob,

I’ve been in your situation, and frankly I think you’re getting a lot of bull**** answers that will not help you at all.

 

I work full time. My wife works part time and cares for our 2 boys. For years, she felt I was lazy, inconsiderate, and worthless and I thought she was ungrateful, frigid, and hateful. Pretty good relationship, huh?

 

I thought that because I did X amount of housework and helping with the kids, didn’t screw around and told he I loved her that I was great husband. She thought that because she took care of the house, fed me and cared for the kids and let me ‘have my way’ when I wanted that she was a great wife. But neither of us ever came out and directly stated what was important to each of us.

 

My wife needed to hear that she was needed and that what she did was appreciated. That’s all. She needed to know that I valued her. She needed to be shown a higher than average amount of respect, and I wasn’t giving that to her.

 

I needed to feel that she wanted to be sexual with me, that she loved and desired me, and she wasn’t providing that.

 

This is an over-simplification, but you get the point. It’s not what YOU think you should be doing for your wife and it’s not what any one else thinks you should be doing, but what is important to your wife. You could be doing everything in the world except for what she needs, and it’s like you are doing nothing in her eyes. The same goes for her, she needs to KNOW what’s important to you so that she can provide it. Right now, sex is probably not important to her so she thinks it shouldn’t be that important to you. Somehow, you are doing the same thing to her.

 

The answer is actually very simple Bro, once you each know what the other needs to make them happy, you do it and you both make each other happy. The more this occurs, the happier you will both be. The happier you both are, the happier you want to make your spouse. Create that upward spiral Bro.

 

Quit asking us what you should do and go ask your woman. Then go make her happy Bro.

 

Awesome post!! You just basically "nutshelled" what makes a marriage work! Now we (husband and wives) need go out and do this!!

[Moose]

Ok, I'm gonna give my 2 cents on this thread.....We have 5 kids and all I hear on this thread so far is how hard it is for you to take care of one or two. My wife hasn't had a job outside of the home for nearly 20 years, she's raised our kids and they never have been to a daycare center.

 

Yes I work full time during the week as an applications engineer, weld a couple nights out of the week in a local mine 2 miles underground, and I run a welding shop on the weekends. My wife? 24/7 she is at home taking care of the house and kids. Does she complain? NO!!!! She loves being at home and with the kids. It's what she's dreamed about all her childhood life. The only thing she complains about is that she wished we had more time together. ( and I agree ).

 

Now mind you, our kids now consists of 2 teen-agers, a 12 year old, 8, and 6 year old. We have what we call a monthly chore chart and a set of, " Schlack Rules to live by ", posted in our kitchen for the kids to follow to the letter or they suffer punishment. This was our way of taking care of Mom's work load. But even before that we had at least 3 kids in diapers most of the time and she did a wonderfull job in taking care and raising them.

 

Yes, I do chores too....they alternate monthly. This month my responsibilities are to feed the horses, mow the lawn, do the evening dishes, ( Not the dinner dishes ) and wipe the counters and bar off after dinner. The worst is having to do the dinner dishes!!!! I hate it when it's my month to do that!!!

 

I just want you guys to realize that taking care of a family like ours requires our full attention and we are happy with the way we have things set up. You are giving this guy a lot of grieve and blaming him for everything and I don't see it that way.

 

My opinion:

 

1. Split the household chores, it only take 30 days to create a habit, and it's not too awfull bad afterwards.

 

2. Take your wife out more, spend time with adults every now and then, or see if she wants to go out with her girlfriend one night out of the week.

 

3. Again, here's the broken record.....go to this link: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/garychapman/ and get the book, this is my salvation as far as my relationship with my wife. ( I haven't had any problems with getting her in the mood to make love since I got this book!!!! )

 

Don't get me wrong, I, Excuse me, We used to be like a lot of couples in here screaming and fighting and no sex yada, yada, but this book turned everything around for us.....Good Luck to ya!!!

 

Moose

[Karlise13]

Parenting is very hard work. Maybe she feels overwhelmed because she's not 'loving it all the time' like some women.

 

There's a very humorous take on the ups and downs of parenting written by Susan Jeffers, PhD. She's a mom who freely admits that parenting can just plain suck sometimes. It's worth a read; will give the man some real insight into the pressures put on women to be Supermoms and may give your wife the realization that things can't always run smoothly in a house with kids.

 

Maybe she needs to give herself permission to drop the 'mom' role often enough for you two guys to reignite some passion in your relationship!

 

Anyway, once a week is PRETTY GOOD for a mother of two small children. I know parent friends of mine who go MONTHS without sex. They are just too exhausted and cranky.

[Bee Fifty-Twos]

Cripes, buddy, I've been married for less than two years, have NO kids, and have already had several spans of SIX MONTHS in between love making. Now obviously my wife and I have some other issues to deal with, but COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS if you are able to share that experience with her that often. Just want you to realize that your situation doesn't sound half bad to some of us.

Hope everything works out.