Countdown - How long til your LDR ISN'T long distance anymore

[strongertoday]

Magpies - CONGRATULATIONS !!!

 

I am so excited for you....I persopnally can think of nothing nicer than going and professing my love to official people....to say "I love this man"...to say I love him so much I am willing to do this.....

 

Where are you moving from and to?? and PLEASE make sure you let us know how it goes.....

 

HUGS HUGS HUGS

 

(if you can talk to him just before you go in - then you will be positively glowing !!!! )

[Magpies]

I so wish I can talk to him right before I go in, but I have no cellphone here. I'm an American currently working in Korea and will be moving to Sweden in March (if all goes well).

 

My friend just calmed me down by pointing out the important things - like planning the rest of our lives and stuff I'm behaving like a schoolgirl when in fact I'm divorced! But it was never as planned out as this ... which makes me inclined to think that people in LDRs have a stronger kind of love. It's by no means convenient, that's for sure ... but all this planning fortifies love. And now that I can breath a bit, I have to say that I never thought I'd meet someone so right for me. (Maybe not for anyone else, but simply perfect for me!)

 

I pulled out (for the first time since I bought it months ago) a small charm I bought at a famous temple here - it's for our future baby one day. That made me feel a lot better.

 

Two more sleeps and at dawn I go. You're right, I should just relax, let loose the details and gag them to death with our dorkiness.

 

 

BTW, I love this thread! Thank you for starting it. I hope immigration surprises you with an answer soon! Keep us updated!

[Magpies]

Getting ready for bed and waking up early for my interview tomorrow. Everything's set! I'm excited

[Krajt]

4 years, but I give it two weeks before we split up.

[Rollercoasterr]

If my birth certificate ever makes it's way here, then 17 more days until my LDR ends, but only temporarily. In about 3 months I'll have to leave for school, but I'll be at a school that is a WHOLE LOT closer to him than what I am now. I'll be a little under 2 hours away from him when I go back to school, and I'm 15 hours away from him now. So it's kind of like the LDR is ending in that respect, too. We could drive a few times a week to see each other, but I'm pretty sure the border people wouldn't like that very much, lol.

 

However, 647 days until we say "I do".

[strongertoday]

Magpies - hurry back and give us a report !! We are all thinking of you. And I am glad I started the thread too, it is so easy to forget we are on the final stretch.....

 

Krajt - my thoughts are with you....hang in there.....HUGS

 

Rollercoasterr - wow thats so close...I am sure the paperwork will come really soon...and I hope for tollerant border people everytime you cross

 

As for us...we checked online again and no change. I had a down day yesterday but today he has been fabulous and lifted my spirits lots. He did tell me how hard it is being in limbo and i felt so selfish sitting here in my house with my stuff and all the comfort...so today I will get my mojo back and be 'stronger today'

[Island Girl]

jordane....OMG you must be a mess !! I swear I am nesting here...lol...washing the windows even !!

 

I have recently -- and only recently in my whole lief have started cleaning my house myself and wanting to bake like I used to when I was a child.

 

Never thought about it being nesting!! that is so funny!

 

 

 

Today! Today! Today!

 

Congratulations again and again!!!!!!!!! BEST WISHES!

 

 

Today I got a postcard from him. Finally something in his handwriting (he is the king of electronic communications). Brought it all home how real and close it is.

 

Its wonderful being this excited ....lol

 

I think that is how we became so entwined. The first year we wrote every day. And they were really long letters - well on my part they were 13-14 pages. His were a few pages. But we poured our minds out onto those pages. Innermost thoughts stuff.

 

Just seeing the letters as his hand made them on the envelope would give me butterflies.

[Island Girl]

But it was never as planned out as this ... which makes me inclined to think that people in LDRs have a stronger kind of love. It's by no means convenient, that's for sure ... but all this planning fortifies love. And now that I can breath a bit, I have to say that I never thought I'd meet someone so right for me. (Maybe not for anyone else, but simply perfect for me!)

 

I absolutely second this. I don't know how many times I have heard "wow. 6 years and you have only seen eachother 1 month - I couldn't do it." And when I ask the ones that are married -- "not even with your wife/husband?" The response is no. Unbelievable when marriage is supposed to be until death do us part. Geography doesn't change that - problems sometimes do but geography?

 

BTW, I love this thread! Thank you for starting it. I hope immigration surprises you with an answer soon! Keep us updated!

 

I SECOND THIS AS WELL!

 

Magpies - hurry back and give us a report !! We are all thinking of you. And I am glad I started the thread too, it is so easy to forget we are on the final stretch.....

 

YES YES!!! I wonder how it all went and what the interview was like? I am sure you are bouncing off the walls right now! - They had to have said yes.

[Magpies]

Thank you both for your well wishes~ because it worked! I somehow got there in time, early even, and got the sweetest diplomat ever! We pretty much giggled and laughed the whole hour.

 

I gave her my papers, she looked over them briefly and then asked how we met. My bf and I included a typed version of our stories so it was just pretty much what I've already written (and I told her that). She asked me the following questions:

 

- How did you meet?

- What are your plans?

- Where will you live?

- What will you do there? (work related)

- What kind of work does he do?

- What's his educational background? What's my educational background?

- Does he have any siblings? Do I? What do they do? How old are they?

- What are his parents names? And what do they do? Where do they live? The same with my folks?

- Where did he grow-up? Same with me.

- What are your plans together (she didn't say it outrightly but it was about marriage)?

 

Just all basic info. The majority of the talk was about him and I as friends and how life can just surprise you sometimes. I told her the truth about everything, even about how we haven't really talked about marriage - that we don't want to rush that - but for sure we both want kids one day. I forgot to tell her that we both believe that children, ideally, should be in a family. He also mentioned kids in his letter and I mentioned that I am divorced, and so I want to be cautious and "we'll see". That I won't consider marriage unless kids are in the plans, and they are, but I'll let him pop the question, is basically my answer! She was so cool with it that she even assured me that I won't have to worry about that in Sweden.

 

In the end, she asked me when my contract is over, twice, and then said that I should get it before then. I explained how it'll save tons of money for the both of us if it is and then repeated that it shouldn't be a problem.

 

So sweet! A HUGE WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS THERE! I'm starting old projects I've been neglecting and basically smiling like an idiot all day.

 

Right now I ran into this song on a friend's website and even though it sounds really 80's and sappy, I love the hell out of it and it's making me miss him tons!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdYLFoc9XKk

 

I'm sending back all the happy thoughts and well wishes I got from you all! I hope you get your decision soon!

[strongertoday]

Magpies - Oh wow.....can't help it I am crying like a baby for you....congratulations!!!

 

So when is your contract up? When should you hear? What did your guy say when you told him?

 

I found out yesterday that my divorce will be FINALLY thru on 21 October.....not that we are rushing into Marraige either but we have talked and if he can handle the Aussie heat and my mad life then it will happen.

 

I am feeling a bit like you are...lots of hurdles just falling down..makes the road ahead seem easy compared to what is already behind us....

 

HUGS HUGS HUGS

[Island Girl]

Congratulations Magpies!!!

 

WONDERFUL AND ENCOURAGING!!! :bunny:

 

Much needed today. I just found out immigration will take at least 30 days longer to send the file to the embassy and then it is 3 weeks to "call" for him for his interview.

 

So now it is Nov *sigh*

 

He doesn't have a computer and since a new internet company. Digicell, bought the telephone company there, calling cards don't work and it is $1.50 a minute to call direct.

 

So it is very rare now that we can hear each other's voice.

 

His cousin's wife found this video and sent me the link after showing it to him. He said "yeah that is it - tell her the only difference is I go to work at the farm in the morning and the rest of the time I sit around bored -- and it ISN'T easier."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVNA4MUBLrA&feature=related

 

But it lets me know how he is feeling. The exact same way I feel - the anguish. But the TREMENDOUS love as well. Holding on to us. Both of us in the face of adversity and we must prevail.

[Krajt]

 

Krajt - my thoughts are with you....hang in there.....HUGS

 

 

Thanks, it's not so bad anymore. I will see her a few times a month.

[Magpies]

Magpies - Oh wow.....can't help it I am crying like a baby for you....congratulations!!!

 

So when is your contract up? When should you hear? What did your guy say when you told him?

 

I found out yesterday that my divorce will be FINALLY thru on 21 October.....not that we are rushing into Marraige either but we have talked and if he can handle the Aussie heat and my mad life then it will happen.

 

I am feeling a bit like you are...lots of hurdles just falling down..makes the road ahead seem easy compared to what is already behind us....

 

HUGS HUGS HUGS

 

Thank you so much! Congratulations on the divorce finalization! I remember when mine was final, I felt like jumping up and down and that was before me and my bf got together ... I can only imagine how much more awesome it would have been if I had this much to look forward to!

 

 

As for my contract, it's over late Feb/early March. The official date is Feb 28th, but most likely it will be a few days after that when I finally get to leave. The process averages at 6-months. It all depends on how fast he receives a notice, after that it shouldn't take much longer. I hear that getting the interview is what takes up most of the time -- which is something that really worked in our favor since in Korea, there wasn't a wait time (if I applied in the States, it would have taken months before they interviewed me). I should get official notice before I leave ... hopefully a month before so I can book tickets! I'm cutting it close, I know, but it really reassured me when the lady told me it shouldn't be a problem.

 

I'm really hoping it won't. My bf said he will call everyday as soon as he gets word from them. He left me a message that day sounding really worried. He took a deep breath when I told him all is well. He can't wait and neither can I! I'll be such a LONG winter ... I miss him so much!

 

I'm still sending happy thoughts your way and hoping you get a decision soon!

[Magpies]

Congratulations Magpies!!!

 

WONDERFUL AND ENCOURAGING!!! :bunny:

 

Much needed today. I just found out immigration will take at least 30 days longer to send the file to the embassy and then it is 3 weeks to "call" for him for his interview.

 

So now it is Nov *sigh*

 

He doesn't have a computer and since a new internet company. Digicell, bought the telephone company there, calling cards don't work and it is $1.50 a minute to call direct.

 

So it is very rare now that we can hear each other's voice.

 

His cousin's wife found this video and sent me the link after showing it to him. He said "yeah that is it - tell her the only difference is I go to work at the farm in the morning and the rest of the time I sit around bored -- and it ISN'T easier."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVNA4MUBLrA&feature=related

 

But it lets me know how he is feeling. The exact same way I feel - the anguish. But the TREMENDOUS love as well. Holding on to us. Both of us in the face of adversity and we must prevail.

 

Aww Island Girl, it'll work out OK, you'll see! As for not being able to contact each other, have you tried Skype? It's seriously the best thing ever! I don't have a phone here and use Skype exclusively! If he has a phone, landline or cell, you can call him for a flat-rate, unlimited. Or alternatively, he can go to a public computer and use Skype to call you for free as well.

 

I pay about $25 every 3 months and that comes with free unlimited calls to all landlines worldwide (+some cellphones depending on country) PLUS 3 different local SkypeIn numbers so that my friends and family can call me on their normal phones without a charge (since it's a local number for them). I have 1 number that's local for my friends back home, 1 Swedish number, and I haven't activated my 3rd one. All calls forward to your computer. If you're not home, there's a voicemail they can leave and you automatically see it as soon as you logon. Also, if you have a cellphone, it forwards your calls to your cell for free at a normal rate -- I don't exactly know the details on that because I don't have a cell here but every expat uses it and claims to save TONS.

 

Here's the site: http://www.skype.com/

 

I'm rooting for the both of you!

[crimsonrose]

Hi Hi,

 

I can't stop bouncing here, our Visa was finally approved and he'll be here permanently in 9 sleeps. It's better than Christmas

 

He's American, I'm Australian so it's a huge move for him. But, 9 more sleeps....

 

Congrats to you Jordane, I hope it's going brilliantly

 

Strongertoday, trust me it's just the nerves, if he's anything like my SO he's freaking out about leaving his comfort zone, making the move, all the uncertainties, leaving his family and friends for you, just be patient and reassure him it'll be ok.

 

This is a great article I found that helps with some things

http://www.savvymiss.com/love-advice/love-relationship-advice/love-and-relationships-archive/article/how-to-adjust-when-youve-relocated-for-love-69.html

 

I made sure on his last visit to take him to expat American dinners, so he could meet folks in similar situations, have familar accents etc, I know it's different for him but there are also expat British groups, and in my City (Melbourne) we have lots of new to the city groups that have dinners, social events and outings etc. This way he doesn't rely completely on you and has his own friend structure, trust me that relieves pressure off of both of you.

 

Best of luck to everyone.

9 more sleeps

Goes back to bouncing

Sy

 

Omg, do you have any visa advice. My fiance is in Melbourne too, and I'm in America. He's had family members deported because they screwed up their visas. what kind of visa are you doing???

[crimsonrose]

Because of visa crap, I can't move until mid July 2009. So a little over 290 days. Feels like forever. The only thing that soothes it is that In three months I visit him for 2 months, and then I come back to America for another three and a half months, then I move to him! It's still 9 months till I move to him and 7 months apart, but breaking it up into three months makes it sound alot less harsh. Been doing this thing for 2 years now, 3 by the time I move to him. We're so tired of just sorta surviving through webcam versus actually LIVING, so we're excited. Exhausted and fed up with the distance, but we love each other more everyday so its okies.

[strongertoday]

HUGS crimsonrose.....

 

It can be easier breaking up the time but so much harder to say goodbye at the end of the 2 months....I chucked the biggest '2 year old childs tantrum' for 2 weeks.....just going "its not fair, I want him now".....keep your end in sight and hang in....its all worth it !!

 

I live about an hour outside of Melbourne and its a lovely city...your visit will be in summer and when you move mid winter so be prepared for the temperature change...tho having said that Melbourne can have 4 seasons in one day....lol

 

 

good luck

[konfuzd]

He was supposed to be here by the end of October. Now, he's telling me he's probably not going to be here until the middle of November, and even that's not for sure. I know he can't put it off forever though, because he's already moved all his belongings here.

 

It's so frustrating!

[strongertoday]

awwww konfuzd.......HUGS

 

why does it have to go back 2 weeks?

 

I know it seems like forever now but it will fly by

[crimsonrose]

HUGS crimsonrose.....

 

It can be easier breaking up the time but so much harder to say goodbye at the end of the 2 months....I chucked the biggest '2 year old childs tantrum' for 2 weeks.....just going "its not fair, I want him now".....keep your end in sight and hang in....its all worth it !!

 

I live about an hour outside of Melbourne and its a lovely city...your visit will be in summer and when you move mid winter so be prepared for the temperature change...tho having said that Melbourne can have 4 seasons in one day....lol

 

 

good luck

 

o hell, i did that too! lol. when i left him this last time i was sobbing so hard i got him, 6'6" tall with muscles of a greek god, to bloody CRY! and the time before that i got home and practically rocked back and forth on my bed for a month, begging god himself to make this move faster. lol.

 

i know! this is the first time i get to go to the beach with him! this last time ws in september so it was still cold, but i get to go from winter in el paso, of all the nasty american cities, to summer in one of the most beautiful cities on earth. im excited impatient, but excited.

 

where does your guy live?

[crimsonrose]

He was supposed to be here by the end of October. Now, he's telling me he's probably not going to be here until the middle of November, and even that's not for sure. I know he can't put it off forever though, because he's already moved all his belongings here.

 

It's so frustrating!

 

o god honey. i know. when youre so close to the date and days get added onto the wait, its harder than waiting all those previous months. i remember i was meant to visit my fiane last february and it got delayed to APRIL. torture

[konfuzd]

awwww konfuzd.......HUGS

 

why does it have to go back 2 weeks?

 

I know it seems like forever now but it will fly by

 

Thanks.

 

He had some family issues to deal with that ended up costing him a bunch of money, so he needs the extra time to work. He doesn't have a job lined up here yet, so he has to have some money banked for that lag time between jobs.

[Magpies]

It's exactly 2-weeks since my interview and no word yet from the Swedish Embassy. Work's been hectic, which help kill time but when I get home after a really stressful day, I really miss him. I was going crazy for a little while and my poor baby is going crazy now. It's like we're taking turns. It'll be until march before I see him ... how the hell is this gonna work when I'm already missing him like crazy? I'd lose so much money if I don't finish my contract, and all of that doesn't make any sense anyway because I have to wait for my residency to be approved .. I can't be in the country when it's approved, so even if I can visit, I can't.

 

We stopped lying to ourselves by saying it'll be soon. It's sooo not soon - but .. like it will be worth the wait, that's for sure.

[strongertoday]

crimsonrose - My guy is in Wales, UK. Its getting cold there so he is looking forward to the warmth and visiting the Water Park in Geelong....should be a blast. And I certainly agree, Melbourne is a beautiful city

 

konfuzd - Money issues are hard, but understandable....nothing would be worse than him turning up penniless and feeling dependant and depressed....we are all willling the time to fly by for you (and us all)

 

I feel like I am wishing my life away...lol...My job requires alot of planning too and at the moment I am thinking Christmas and January and he will be here for all that....

 

**remembers to hang some mistletoe this year**

 

[Island Girl]

It's exactly 2-weeks since my interview and no word yet from the Swedish Embassy.

 

I hope you hear soon! How long does it usually take to hear? The USCIS website gives time estimates so I am hoping the Swedish do too. The hardest part is the feeling that it isn't going to end I know.

 

It'll be until march before I see him ... how the hell is this gonna work when I'm already missing him like crazy?

 

You will. Just stay strong for each other and remind each other all the time why you are doing this - no more searching - you have found each other. I think about the 15 years I was waiting/searching for him and 6 doesn't seem like so much especially since I get to talk to him and know he is mine.

 

We stopped lying to ourselves by saying it'll be soon. It's sooo not soon - but .. like it will be worth the wait, that's for sure.

 

Soon is relative right? I do not mean that flippantly AT ALL. I know it is difficult of course (I have seen my husband 1 month out of 70 at this point) but it can be done and has been done. But to put it in perspective I have not seen my husband in over 2 years since we were married and we are still just as committed as ever if not more so. Try to use the distance to your advantage -- make a surprise gift box of silly things that have relevance to your time together (my husband and I used to go to a certain park and sit at a picnic table over looking the city so his box was lined with red and white checkered table cloth - I pinned a note to it that said "no more picnics without you") and some of his favorites with a hand written letter. He'll read and re-read the letter and it is a special feeling when you get something with actual handwriting. Just knowing that person held that paper and penned those words...it does wonders creating a special moment across the miles. And creating it occupies the time...

 

Perhaps that helps

 

I feel like I am wishing my life away...lol

 

I know how you feel. I really, really do. I try to remember every day that I am one more day closer than before so I can feel there IS progress because the endless waiting drives me crazy at times - literally.

 

He still does not know that after his interview in November it COULD be another 4 to 6 months. I am hoping to get special approval but HE has to make it through his interview first. I worry because he hasn't been practicing his English. In the 6 years he has been gone his accent has gotten pretty thick and he speaks Tongan ALL the time so his day to day vocabulary has diminished. When he was here and it was MUCH better some people couldn't understand him although I always could. It sucks I can't be there with him for the interview. *sigh*

 

There are a lot of people out there wishing and wishing to find their "one". Some people never do. And still others are incapable of the kind of love that it takes to hang on in an LDR. Certainly I do not believe ANY of us would be so quick to take each other for granted as I see around me all the time.