Anything I can do?

[lilbo]

Ok I don't really want to go into a whole lot of details at the moment, but this is the jist of it. I recieved a inheritance about 2 years ago. Had it in the bank for 1 and 1/2 days before my boyfriends mother wanted me to pay off her house with it. I asked her to sign a contract stating it would be payed back within 1 year. She started crying and yada yada yada I loaned it to her with no contract no promisary note, only a verbal agreement.

 

Ok fast forward, it has been 2 years, The original plan was for her to pay off her old house (a land with a trailor to be exact..) then get a loan to get a modgular placed and built on her land that she owned 1 town over. Well so far that has happened, then we were supposed to fix up her previous home and sell it to pay me back. We went over there about 3 times total and only did minimum cleaning. Haven't been there since May of this year. I have offered to clean and fix it up all my myself and yet she still puts it off. I honestly don't think she has any plans on paying me back, and if your curious the amount is 23,000 dollars.

 

It was first 22,000 but then she took the car I bought for my boyfriend and kept it that I payed 1000$ for. She was originally only supposed to borrow the car untill her car was fixed to get to work. She kept trying to make us pay for anything that went wrong with it like the battery, then it was a steering pump over a coarse of 6 months, then we said you have to pay the purchase price that we payed this is ridiculous.

 

It is really really bothering me. It is almost consumes me, I feel she robbed me of my college money and my future. I think about it every single day.

 

She was really nice to me before when I still had some of the other inheritance money that she would borrow from me (this is after the 23,000). And as soon as that was gone now she treats me like garbage. Almost like she looks down at me, treats me like less of a human being, I don't know this is how it feels to me.

 

And when she goes to the casino at least once a month, that really bothers me. Last summer we went with her and her boyfriend to the casino to see a concert, she won about 800$ and put it ALL back in.

 

It is illegal to record someone without their knowing in the state of michigan or I would try to do that.

 

My boyfriend is also very angry at his mother for this, but their isn't really anything he can do about it. He has confronted her many times, and she is so malnipulative she always finds a way to turn it around and twist things.

 

I feel so angry about this all the time, like there is abosolutely nothing I can do about it. I want to go talk to a counselor or someone about this but I cannot afford to do it at this time, money has been tight.

 

What can I do to let go of this, to forget the money and just MOVE ON. I don't feel I can ever honestly have a normal relashionship with her ever again.

 

After her comment last week it has really been eating away at me, what she said was, When I die, you guys should move closer to jane(my boyfriends sister) because it is out of the state and you may have bill collectors come after you from all my debt. I just wanted to slap her across her face with all my strength as hard as i possibley could. I held it in and walked away.

 

I don't think all this anger and frustration I am dealing with is healthy at all and it IS taking a major toll on me.

 

I also wrote this to get it out, it has been so hard to keep it in and try to act happy and always have a smile on my face lately.

[curiousnycgirl]

Hmmmm your only true recourse is to sue her. I hope you have learned a very valuable life lesson here - there are several I can see.

 

1. take care of yourself first and foremost

2. cover your a$$ at all times. Get it in writing!

3. never lend more than you can afford to lose.

 

This woman sounds like a sociopathic narcisist - exactly like my mother! You need to completely disconnect from her. Stop any and all communcation. This does not mean you have to stop seeing your b/f per se - but nowhere does it say you have to see his mother! Frankly if he has issues with this, then he's not concerned for you/your well being either.

 

I am very serious about suing (or at least threaten to) her btw - if she truly is like my mother, she will be so mortified that it will become public, she'll figure out a way to make you whole regardless. So think of ways that would make you happy. Think outside of the box.

 

Would you be ok if she signed the old house over to you - then you could fix it up and sell it, taking 100% of the profits of course. DO NOT agree to fix it up and let her take the income fo the sale and just give you $23K - you will still be out $'s.

 

Good luck with it.

[kchiapet95]

She thinks she'll get away with it. I agree with curiousnycgirl. Sue her.

 

And if you don't get your money back, you have learned a valuable lesson, and cut all ties with her! That's a toxic person in your life. She should be ashamed of herself.

 

*shakes head*

 

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Angel1111]

This woman is pathetic and should be slapped for being such a low-class manipulator. Probably as everyone says, your only option is to sue her but you'll probably never see all of that money again, and even then only if the house sells. With no contract in place, it will only be you and your boyfriend's word against hers -- that is, if he'll testify -- and the check you wrote out to her. Maybe you can go to a small claims court but I don't know what their limit is.

 

It's going to be very hard to let go of this emotionally, especially since it affects your education and future. I think the only thing you can do since money is tight is go to an an attorney who gives free consultations and ask him for advice. Sometimes they'll fight a case and not expect payment until the case is over, or it will be based on how much they win for you. If nothing else, you'll have some answers as to how to proceed.

[lilbo]

I really don't think I can sue because this is how I payed it off... I got the inheritance check, went to the back and made a Checking account, had the money in there for 1 day, She came to us and started saying ok, can we go pay off my house, I said I want you to sign a contract , She started crying and crying saying she didn't want to sign it because she wasnt sure she would be able to pay it back within 1 year (that was the plan I wanted ), I said well ok can you at least sign a IOU ? She said ok after we get back from the bank. So we went to the bank and she did all the talking for us and they just trasferred the amount of what was owed on her trailer/land into her account, from my account and she got a reciept saying her house was payed off and the amount on it. Even the bank teller questioned it and had a rather odd look on her face.

 

We have talked to her about signing the house over to us but she feels it is worth more than what she owes us so that is out of the question. In MY opinion it is not, It is a very run down , nasty trailer that smells, needs TONS of work done to even be deemed livable in, and it is about 20 years old and only on a half acre of land. Michigan is basically is a state of depression and property value is VERY low right now. I honestly do not even think it could be sold for 20,000. If you read my old post about her cat problem, that is why the house is so disgusting. It had cats pissing and spraying all over it for YEARS.

 

I basically have accepted that I will not see this money again, I am looking for a way to let go of this anger and hurt that seems to have such a hold on me.

 

I believe that she believes in her mind that she had this money coming to her and she deserved it because her parents never left her anything when they died. She never said that, but she has mentioned it many times how she never got anything from them. When I got my check in the mail, she came over and wanted to see the check, and she said something like "wow I've never held so much money in my hands before."

 

I've been praying a lot asking god to give me the strength to let this go. I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive her in all honestly even thou god teaches us that we should forgive.

[curiousnycgirl]

You have chosen to accept that you've lost this money, because you have chosen to do nothing, if that is the case, then why bother posting? Move on.

 

However if you do want this money back - you most definitely CAN sue her. It is very easy to prove that it was YOUR money and that SHE benefitted from it's use.

 

From what you describe I do not suggest you sue for the old house to be put in your name as compensation - I suggest you sue for the $23K plus interest plus court costs. Then she can cell her cat pee filled house and several other thingss in order to pay you.

 

This woman is not even related to you - neither by blood nor marriage - why on earth would you give in to her in the first place, and why would you just allow it to slide.

 

Something else is going on here - I just have no idea what.

[2sure]

To be honest, just because you didnt have her sign off on this as a loan - you may still have the means to win back this amount if you sue her.

 

First off, you have record of where the money came from, how you got and what you did with it, where you deposited it. This proves the money was originally yours.

 

Next, you have proof, even if it is just your bank statement, that a day or two later the bulk of the money was withdrawn in one transaction. It sounds like you even can show that the money went to pay off another account under this womans name.

 

You sound young. No court would think that you made this woman a gift of almost your entire inheritance without thinking you were going to be paid back.

 

You have all the proof showing YOUR money was used to pay off HER loan. She has nothing.

 

You can win this

[nleeh]

You are neither doing yourself a favor by forgetting about the money, nor are you doing your boyfriend's Mother a favor by letting her forget about borrowing the money. People who take advantage of other people...and in this case at a very high price...need to be made to take responsibility for their actions when they are unwilling to do so on their own.

 

Yes you were naive to lend her the money without putting something in writing but you have your boyfriend and paperwork to vouch for the transfer of funds plus in court, your boyfriend's Mother may fess up that she owes the money to you.

 

So stand up for yourself and your rights and do her a favor by keeing her honest as well by being responsible for what she owes you or you will not be the last person she cheats.

 

I do hope that your boyfriend is backing you here and is willing to support you in suing his Mother and if he isn't, then please take a second look at your relationship with him.

 

Best wishes.