liquidgraffiti Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 [FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica][sIZE=2]Well, I have a dilemma, hopefully, you guys and girls can help me out. I really like this girl that works with me, she has 2 jobs. As soon as she finishes working where I work, she has to go to the other job. I always try to go with her to her other job by mass transit. On Sat. I drop her at her house so she can change and go to her other job (She works every single day, she has a lot of debts) I’ve been doing this for about a month and a half already. I have already told her that I like her a lot, that she was someone really special and really different, she’s 20 btw, I’m 24, she told me she liked me too, but that she couldn’t date me because it would distract her from her other job (She has 3 years with her other job, and about a year where I work). She told me that if we were to go out and date, then she would probably have the urge to call out at work just to go out with me and that her priorities would get sidestepped. Now about last week I got a little wasted at a bar with a couple of friends and I send her a txt saying that I really loved her and I told her that while it was nearly impossible to love someone when they haven”t even had a chance to go out even once, I told her I loved her anyway on that txt (Again I was a bit wasted). She txts me back and says that while she has no doubt that this relationship will be something really special, she wasn’t ready for it. I asked her if she liked me or not, she said, she likes me. I then proceed to ask her that if I was a boyfriend material for her and she said, ‘ if that’s what I was looking for, yes ‘ I told her that while she’s not ready for a relationship, I was going to be there for her supporting her in any way I can. She told me that she wouldn’t want me to wait around for her. What should I do, I will give her the space she needs and the time she needs. She works too hard and it pains me to see her like that. I really, really like her a lot and I think that she’s the one. Btw, I think that this case is unique, don’t you ? A girl with 2 jobs, who has no time to go out :-( Any advice will really be appreciate it.[/sIZE][/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
Orbit Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Let me start off by saying don't ever, I mean ever send a drunken txt, e-mail or phone call, specialy if you are telling someone how you feel about them. Have you every actually gone out with this woman, date or hanging out or anything, other than walking her to the train or her other job? Link to post Share on other sites
Author liquidgraffiti Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 Let me start off by saying don't ever, I mean ever send a drunken txt, e-mail or phone call, specialy if you are telling someone how you feel about them. Have you every actually gone out with this woman, date or hanging out or anything, other than walking her to the train or her other job? Yeah about the txt, she did give one big hug the next day, it was nice. Don't know if it was a sorry hug or not, but it felt nice. Well, we did hang out once, in a Starbucks, I was with her killing time until her next job, for like 3 hours. I've asked her twice after that, and she is basically busy all the freaking time. Once I was waiting for her to go to her house with her and she had a phone conference call, I waited for her for about 10 minutes and then she told me it was a private company matter, and told me that she wanted to be alone. And let me get this out now, for plp thinking that maybe it was her bf or she was hanging out with her friends after that and that maybe she wanted to get rid of me, by giving me a lame excuse like 'conference call' I just left and haven't spoken to her since. It's been about 5 days now, and somehow I've managed to avoid her (we have the same job). She did send me a txt today asking if I was mad at her. I'm backing off slowly because the less I see of her the less worse I will fell. I'm trying to cut communications with her. I just hope she doesn't get the wrong idea. What should I do now ? I know she likes me. Link to post Share on other sites
jen's mind Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Well, for heaven's sake, don't just cut off the communication with her! Why is it that when things get weird, guys decide that the best thing to do is keep quiet or disappear? Do you think that avoiding her at work and not contacting her otherwise is "backing off slowly"? You might be feeling better, but she's feeling like s**t. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 I really, really like her a lot and I think that she’s the one. Btw, I think that this case is unique, don’t you ? A girl with 2 jobs, who has no time to go out :-( Any advice will really be appreciate it. Um... #1.... slow down. #2..... no, not unique. Actually, quite normal and ordinary. But, it is fun to feel special #3.... if she likes you, she will make time to go out with you. Trust me, work isn't that important when romance is involved. Time expands. #4.... Yes, advice.....formally ask her out on a date, not to hang out, not to walk to the bus stop, not wonder if she's interested. Be specific and invite her to *join you*. If she declines or waffles, tell her that you asked her *first* because you liked her. Smile and leave her. Then, move on to the next "one". If she accepts, go enjoy yourself and really start to get to know her. Only "avoid" her if she turns you down. If your interest is romantic and hers is not, it's patently unfair to you to set aside your feelings to provide her with male company. She needs to earn the pleasure of your company Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 She needs to earn the pleasure of your company Read this many times and figure out what you are doing that causes her to see you as a guy to hang out with but not to date. ( you give her way to much and she has not earned it ). Link to post Share on other sites
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