LDR's for the imaginative.

[ohhmyandrea]

Judging by the responses I've recieved from people in my own life who have never had to think about a long distance relationship, I assume that LDRs are for the imaginative and those full of faith.

 

So, now I ask that you suspend judgement and maybe help me figure some things out.

 

My boyfriend and I, of a few months, recently had to make the dreaded jump from being connected at the hip to being five hundred some odd miles apart due to him going off to college.

 

While we both were doing alright adjusting to it the first couple of weeks, I just returned from a visit. Being with him and discussing our future seemed like a good idea until it was time to return to my own home.

 

My plan is to move out to his city. During my trip I secured a job, checked out apartments and explored the city. The tricky part is the role his parents unfortunately play. Their approval isnt with the move because we're "young" and they fear that I'll just distract him. They can't control me. Not directly anyway. But because they are funding his school, their opinions can't be totally disregarded.

 

So when it boils down to it, I guess this post has two points.

 

1. How or what do I (we, he'll be here next weekend) say to his parents to make them understand that this is a step in my life and that I don't intend on ruining any of his important school time.

 

and

 

2. How do I let go of all of the jealousy that creeps out knowing that he'll be meeting girls and how do I stop automatically assuming that our lack of time to talk is due to these girls.

 

 

 

Please help.

I fear that the more I try to hold on, the more Im pushing him away.

[LikeCharlotte]

The only advice I can give you is that you have to follow your own path. I mean that if going to the town he is in to live is going to really be a positive step in your life then by all means do it. If it is about him then I suggest you start thinking about you. Where are you going in your life? What do you want? I get the impression that you are both young and the path you chose now is very important. The relationship is very new and it probably feels like the most important thing in your life but it isn't. Is this a place you will want to live and plan a life if it doesn't work out? The path you chose for yourself is what your focus should be. If that path happens to coincide with his... then more power to you.

 

As for your feelings of jealousy; they are normal but the only person who can control your reactions is you. You know you are "automatically assuming" - so cut it out. Worst case scenario, you are right.. and then what? You move on and find someone who has more respect for your feelings. My point is, don't panic. No matter what you will be fine if you know what you want out of your life.