mizzy_C Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 I had a conversation with my mom today that she iniciated that really made me think... Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 ish months now. I've had a few boyfriends before him and my parents liked them, but didn't really get involved with them. Except for my last ex, my father hated him, haha. But anyways, when i started dating my boyfriend that i have now, my father was SOO excited about it. I remember that he always used to ask if we were dating yet. They had acutally worked together so my dad knew him (thats how we met i guess) and my dad really realy likes this guy, which seems weird cuz my father has never really liked any of my other boyfriends, and hes not the type of person to talk to, or get to know my friends or boyfriends. But they get along together so great and my dad sometimes does stuff with him without me being around which i find a little odd, but good in all means. Just different then what i'm used to.. Did any of your parents ever get close with your S.O while u were dating?? Anyways, my mom brought somethign up today that kind of made me think. My boyfriend recently moved away to go to college, and my mom was asking if i was going to move down there with him in a few months, which i plan to, just not right now. Lately shes kind of been pushing me. well maybe pushing is the wrong word. but encouraging me to move down with him. Like she would be happy if we lived together, which is good i like to have her blessing aswell. Then she asked me how serious we were, and i said well fairly i guess, then she asked me if he was 'the one'. I didnt know what to say! This is my mother asking me this! I replyed, mom, i'm only 20, im not thinking too seriously about that stuf right now! She said i know, then she mentioned abut how my cousin got married at 22.. I said yeah. i know... Just seems like shes hinting that she wants us to get married or something lol. Do parents really know best and kind of have a hunch about these things? or is she just getting in over her head, which is so unlikely for my mom. Shes a very practical woman. And her mentioning this to me threw me off a bit, just because its my mom. Not because i don't want to me with this guy, because i do of course. Does anyone else find this sort of weird or is it just me lol Link to post Share on other sites
ed-205 Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Sounds to me like they want Grandkids! There's nothing wrong with that, but don't let yourself be pressured into something you aren't ready for! Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Do parents really know best No, actually. Parents DO have our best interests at heart but they do NOT know best what is best for their adult children. Adults know best what is best for themselves, that is. How are you doing in your own life, right now? If your parents are perceiving that you don't have clear goals to which you're working towards, that might be one source of their caring and concern. But if that is the case, they could also just talk to you about that instead of hinting you into living with or marriage to some guy (however nice) before you are ready, and/or before you have the education and skills that will enable you to live and function as a fully independent woman. Maybe you can ask what are their real concerns, and see if/how you can assure them that you're on-track, and busy creating your own bright and happy future? Link to post Share on other sites
georgejungle Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 My Aunt MEDDLES. She needs to approve of WHO her sons date. My cousin once dated a girl that my Aunt LOVED, they broke up. But My Aunt continued to stay in contact with that girl and invite her to Social Family Gatherings and now she's like part of the family still, 2 years later. She's always hinting and saying out loud that her other son needs to get his act together and Propose to his girlfriend of 2 years. She says it playfully, but I think she's too up in his business. He's 23. He's capable of making his own decisions. Parents, as sweet and as caring as they can be, can sometimes be TOO overbearing and too intrusive. I hope i'm never like that. you may only be 20, but you're an adult and capable of making your own decisions. I think the slightest little pressure for you to figure out if he's "the one" by your mom, is a bit too much. You'll have PLENTY of time to get married down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 It depends, some parents will hate a guy or girl just because of outward appearance not knowing their heart like their children do. What all parents should want is someone who loves and respect and makes thier daughter or son happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mizzy_C Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 my parents are not the type to like every guy i've dated. first one they liked so-so then then after he hurt me they didn't like him anymore. second boyfriend parents didn't like from the start even though i dated him for 2 years. this guy right now, well my dad worked with him before we started dating and my dad liked him right away. he used to talk about him before i even knew the guy. so my dad knew what he was like, and was very happy for me when i told him that we were dating. my dad is so hard to please as well. he's not the social type and the type to talk to all of my friends. he actually doesn't ingage in conversations with my friends. just a quick hello and that's about all. my dad loves this guy i'm dating now.. they will talk for hours. when we first started dating, i took my boyfriend to a snowmobile race, and instead of spending time with me, my dad hogged him the whole day lol! he was behind the race lines helping change things on the snowmobile and everything else. i hardly saw him that day and he came with me haha. because my father likes him so much (my mom doesn't know him as well as my dad because my dad worked with him for a year or so before we dated) my mother really likes him too. it's so not typical of them to be so involved with my boyfriend. but i love it. because i know if we ever get married, my parents would be thrilled to have him as a son-in-law. Link to post Share on other sites
MN randomguy Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Well, I have meddling parents in a negative way. (will start a post on it maybe not tonight, but look it up and give advice peeps) I don't think one comment by your mom is incredibly overbearing. It is good to take their advice into consideration especially if they don't normally take such a shine to BFs Parents, (especially dads) know there's a lot of douche bags out there. If this guy isn't and your dad knows this. He wants to get you "locked in" married off before you do something crazy or wind-up with one of said douche bags. Like ed-205 said don't let yourself get pressured. But right now it sounds as though you've got a good thing going. Link to post Share on other sites
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