tell me what you think

[shanta]

Ok I am going to try and make this as short as possible.I have known this guy for 15 years. in the past he was the biggest player ever. well i only started seeing him 8 months ago. we have been seeing each other every weekend for 8 months only missing 2 or 3 of them.he is one way when we are around people and a different way when we are alone. hes still friendly and all when we are around people but not touchy lovey feeling.but when we are alone hes touchy feely and all. i dont think im a booty call cause we havent had sex every time we get together.and we talk during the week.well last week he brings up that hes not financially able right now to be in a steady relationship but that when he is im the girl and he doesnt even know how i feel about that but he wanted to tell me that. well this weekend we got together and i dont know if im just blowing things out of porportion or anything but something clicked and gave me the thought u never going have him in the way you want him so i told him i had to go he asked and asked why i said i just got to leave.he said call me tomorrow i said naw u call me.well about 15 minutes later he called and we talked for a few he was on his way home and i said look its all me its not you i just have gotten closer then i wanted to and just realised i will not ever get to have you the way i want he then asked what u doing tonight then he said he would call and weld figure something out. well this is the first time he hasnt called when he said he would.Do yall think i scared him off or is he just needing time to think about things or do yall think he was playing em all this time or should i call him and say well whats what

[Ronni_W]

I don't know what's going on in his mind, of course.

My gut is saying that he didn't call because he wants you to start chasing him, and after some time of him playing hard to get, you will be willing to settle for whatever he wants to give you.

 

You're not planning to do that, I hope(?) -- you're not planning to settle for something less than you want and deserve? So then, do not give him any mixed messages that you even MIGHT be tempted to settle. Don't call him.

 

He's already said that you are the girl for him, whenever he feels financially ready for a girl...let HIM prove that to you. (I don't get his reasoning but it doesn't matter how mixed-up his reasoning may or may not be.) Let HIM prove to you that he is willing to respect what you want, and let HIM demonstrate to you whenever he is willing and ready to give you what you want.

 

Stay strong with what you want for yourself, and what you deserve in life. You can't go wrong if you do that. Don't call him, is my suggestion.

[2sunny]

i seems you are unclear about what you want from him.

 

it's really not fair to be so evasive with him. you pushed him away without giving him an idea of what was on your mind. this is very frustrating for a man.

 

write down what you do and don't like about dating him.

 

allow him to understand these things.

 

if the good outweigh the bad - there may be reasons to continue forward.

 

listen when you have a conversation with him. you both need to clarify with each other where you stand and where you may be going with each other.

 

communication will be key here.

[shanta]

I don't know what's going on in his mind, of course.

My gut is saying that he didn't call because he wants you to start chasing him, and after some time of him playing hard to get, you will be willing to settle for whatever he wants to give you.

 

You're not planning to do that, I hope(?) -- you're not planning to settle for something less than you want and deserve? So then, do not give him any mixed messages that you even MIGHT be tempted to settle. Don't call him.

 

He's already said that you are the girl for him, whenever he feels financially ready for a girl...let HIM prove that to you. (I don't get his reasoning but it doesn't matter how mixed-up his reasoning may or may not be.) Let HIM prove to you that he is willing to respect what you want, and let HIM demonstrate to you whenever he is willing and ready to give you what you want.

 

Stay strong with what you want for yourself, and what you deserve in life. You can't go wrong if you do that. Don't call him, is my suggestion.

 

his reasoning for the financial thing was cause he runs his own business and is now in a slump and he said hes not financially able to have a relationship relationship becuase of his living arrangements and how they are at the time.But that as soon as he gets everything else in order im the one for him.just kind of hit me all at once after we was together again and got me feeling im never going to get him its just a line he was using.But i dont know if he was telling the truth or what. I am not chasing him or going to. I know i am better then that. thanks so much for responding.

[shanta]

i seems you are unclear about what you want from him.

 

it's really not fair to be so evasive with him. you pushed him away without giving him an idea of what was on your mind. this is very frustrating for a man.

 

write down what you do and don't like about dating him.

 

allow him to understand these things.

 

if the good outweigh the bad - there may be reasons to continue forward.

 

listen when you have a conversation with him. you both need to clarify with each other where you stand and where you may be going with each other.

 

communication will be key here.

 

I know what i want from him it is just he is sending mixed signals.like you are the one but only when this and this and that happens.I know I was in the wrong for just leaving like i did, just not that good at communicating my feelings . The good outweighs the bad its just the wondering and all that is getting to me.He seems to want more i know i want more but i dont know rather to wait for his financial stuff to get straightened out then see whats what or just say look its now or never. Thank you for responding back to me.