Soop Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 Well i have a little problem that seems to be common within the other threads... shyness, i already know that the reason for my shyness is that i have a very low self-worth and often i stand alone (even if my friends are close) and fold my arms, it isn't hard to work out that its not the best way to befriend girls. I've always had an interesting issue within myself, i have always gone by the rule that if i am not being %100 myself then any girl friend i would have wouldn't be falling in love with a real person, yet, my so called real me is very avoident and in many senses of the word... mean, and by not being myself how could i gain any real feelings towards her? I don't really know what to do, i have never actually spoke about this situation to anyone ever before (and probably never will again).. at being the age of 17 its shameful that i have never had a girlfriend AND i can't even talk to them.. nicely. If i try to be nice my face goes really red, i have pale skin and its hard to stop.. once i can feel alittle heat my convidance or whats left of it quickly goes away. Now be honest, where the hell do i start with this? it isn't easy for such an ugly shameful guy to be attractive towards girls.. i'm probably going to die to have never felt love Link to post Share on other sites
jackie Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 hey man i kno how u feel and its never easy, just get out there and socialize with other ppl more often, being 17 and no girl friend isnt tht bad, I'm 18 and hav no g/fs aswell, and really I dun think looks is everything, every1 is born with sumthing special which can only be find in urself, and when sumbody sees tht special thing within u, they'll like u for who u truly r. just be yourself Link to post Share on other sites
lost Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 Hey man, don't worry, there's no rush, I was 18 and had just finished high school until i had my first girlfriend. Like jackie said just be yourself. Just relax and don't try too hard, i'm sure u don't react that why if you're talking to friends or family right? Talk to them as you would to a friend or anyother person, and i'm sure u don't react that way. And I'm sure you're not as ugly as you say u are, you shouldn't put yourself down like that. And won't worry about never knowing love, you're only 17 and have the rest of life a head of you. Like i said I was 18 when i had my first girlfriend, but we loved each other for many years after we first met, and i'm not the most attractive guy either... But anyway, just relax be yourself and don't try too hard, don't worry about finding love, you have a lot of time, it might even come and find u when u least expect it. I wasn't even looking for a girlfriend when I met my first love, and it was her that asked me out. Hope my 2 cents u a bit. Good luck and don't worry. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 I'm 25 and I never had a girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with that. I know two guys who never had a girlfriend until the age of 26 and 28, and right now, they are married. Well, love never happened to me, or maybe I was not paying attention. No big deal. You should be be more concerned with getting your life together that hooking up. Once you are ready, then go for it. One thing that can help you build your confidence is some experience in public speaking. If you go to a church, volunteer to do some readings. Women pay a lot more attention to body language, and that includes facial expressions when compared to men. In other words, watch your pose when you are around women because that could give them the wrong idea. Link to post Share on other sites
2SidestoStories Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 Hey Soop, I think perhaps one key thing you could "work on" in terms of being able to talk to anyone in general is to not go into every conversation ASSUMING that people are always going to think you're ugly or unfriendly. Part of being true to yourself ought to be, in my humble opinion, recognizing that there truly is something special about you that someone, and likely a fair number of girls out there, will not only appreciate but love. Defeating low self-worth is not an easy thing to do, and speaking from experience, you will more than likely revert to old habits for quite a while until you realize that the dislike for yourself is more a waste of energy than it's worth. Of course, that may be going out on a limb, but I daresay I can recognize at least one very positive aspect of your personality just based on your post: the desire to stay true to yourself. Oh yeah, and courage for posting this. Hmm, and the desire to seek advice from others, which indicates that you would like to learn to improve your self-worth. Sounds great to me! By the by, I think there is absolutely NOTHING shameful about not having a girlfriend yet. Think of it this way: Girls can be pretty obnoxious to have around, all in all. You've had lots of time to sort out what you want! Good Luck! She's out there somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
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