MrH Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 Okay this is a long story. I've dated and been engaged to this girl for 1.5 yrs We recently had a baby girl together 8 months ago. We started out great in the beginning she moved in with me almost right from the git/go.(I live in a house with my brother). After 3 months in I messed up. I felt a little rushed,I guess as a guy I needed some space .I did'nt want to tell her cause I did'nt want to hurt her.Around this same time I ran into some I girl I went out with a few times awhile back which brought some confusion about who I wanted to be with. I thought maybe I should ask my girlfriend to move out,step back and get my thoughts together about who I wanted to be with. Anyway without getting any closure in my relationship with the girl who lived me I went out one night got drunk and slept with the other one I recently ran into. My girlfreind found out and confronted me. It wasn't pretty anyway. She forgave me(or so she said). We went on and I knew she lost her trust in me and I wanted to work us out and win her trust and love for me back. Around this time she got really involved in her work things were going okay. We had ups and downs days and I wanted to prove my committment to her so we got engaged and then she got pregnant which changed everything. I owned a business that wasn't doing well financially so it was hard for me to provide.She had take the initiative and get things ready for baby while I was busy trying to get my business off the ground to make things better for us financially. Well last summer things weren't going well to well with her hormones and my stress and me being stupid and taking advice from the wrong people decided to break up. Don't get me wrong I wanted to eb in baby's life I love my child. I guess I needed a break what instead I did was getting involved with another woman for a while. At this me and my ex spoke about things here and there she still loved me but was hurt and resentful for what I had done.My ex did'nt know I was seeing anybody. Anyway around this time my daughter came into the world and my whole attitude changed I wanted to get back with my ex and work this out (probably deep down inside I still did love her.) SO I broke it off with the girl I was seeing and got back with my ex. During all this my ex was living with her very christian family (she is not religious),she was on welfare and food stamps,and medicare.I could afford to provied..I came over to visit my new family every nightOn weekends my reunited girlfriend would come up to my house on weekends with our baby and hang out. It was a happy time for a while.At the same time my business was going south which got me very depressed so I would go home and drink alot even with her and my baby there when they were over.When she first started coming back up to my house on weekends she ran across some pictures of me and this other girl I briefly dated. PIctures f us kissing or her licking my ear. WHen she confronted me with it She said it hurt but said it was okay she understood that we were'nt together. Idid'nt at the time how hard these things were on her.To continue we went on for a few months she was getting impatient with me and my business and so was I. So I got out of it and being so broke I lost my car and my credit and am planning to file bankruptcy here soon. So anyway I went and got another job and she started working again too. Around this time she said she wanted to start seeing other people. It did'nt quite hit me at first what was going on. Now it has. I know there are several things that I've done wrong in all of this and I HATE myself for especially now.I totally failed to provide for my family because of the stupid business I was in and being broke myself. I did'nt listen to her at times when she said certain things I did bothered her like:drinking,pornography,(excuse this but)masterbating,and just a lot of things that I did'nt see or understand then as I do now. I can say right now I've changed my life. I've quit the above things mentioned. I work a job that actually provides. I pay my child support.I even read MEN ARE FROM MARS,WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS which has helped me better understand things. I'm becoming more responsible in a lot of areas, I've become a born again Christian (which made me good friends with her parents now). Now I'm working on getting my own place.MY situatuion is that I see her and my baby all the time at her (parent's) house there's never an issue when it comes to seeing my baby. I want her back I want us back. I've poured out my feelings to her. She tells me things like ,"I don't see us getting back together" or "Thats never going to happen. But she'll turn around one day and sat "Who knows" or recently I asked "would she like to see us back together if she believes in the changes I've made?" SHe says "I can't answer that." It just seems like some days I get little hints from her that there's hope and then some days it might seem hopeless.Everyone I know has seen and believes in the changes I have made in my life to which I thank GOD. But she thinks I'm blowing smoke up her butt. She doesn't believe in me right now. She still hurts from the cheating and the pictures more than anything.She's been out with a few guys but nothing has ever came from it. Over a month she started snuggling and getting flirtacious again giving me hope. And this was before all the drastic changes I've made in my life.That all stopped when she started seeing this other guy but then that deal with that guy quickly ended.During that deal I confronted her about why she was flirting around with me. She said it did'nt mean anything. To me it was teasing.Anyway that quickly stopped.Now she likes to go out with her girlfriend quite and sticks me with staying up late watching our daughter at my house or wherever while she's going out getting tanked. THings like that hurt right now because as a guy my imagination can go wild and I can overeact thinking she's out with a guy too. I still feel this can work out. Is there any hope for us? I thinking of maybe keeping my distance from her for a month to let my emotions cool off and let her cool off form being irratated by me cause I'm still around all the time. I tried it for a week and she would call me at home and talk and it was pleasant to me like something is still there because of how we talked. She says I read into things. Anyway that's most of it. I would be glad to give out more detailed information if necessary. Is there hope? Should I back off totally off for a month? Any feedback would greatly appreciated. Please help I just want my family back! Link to post Share on other sites
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