TogetherForever Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Hi Stamp. I'm feeling for you Dear. I do need to ask though, Why do you believe the husband? How do you know he's not blowing smoke up your a$$? If you haven't sat down with the both of them, you really don't know. TF Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 ((SD)) Eh. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 That's a good point, TF...and a valid enough one to think about. I'd like to point out tho, in all my years on this and other forums, I've rarely seen a case where the BS lies about the situation. First, I think the majority of the time, there's no need to...the WS digs deep enough holes for themselves without any need for the BS to lie about anything. Secondly, most BS's are devestated by those lies...what they're normally seeking in all of this is the TRUTH of the situation above anything else. You might ask the same question of her H...why on earth would he trust anything Stampdaddy told him??? At some point...you listen to what's said and make your own decisions on things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 Hi Stamp. I'm feeling for you Dear. I do need to ask though, Why do you believe the husband? How do you know he's not blowing smoke up your a$$? If you haven't sat down with the both of them, you really don't know. Because I know, and am very close to the entire situation.. It's not like I live on the moon. There are many, many things that over time confirm themselves.. things SHE has said that he said, and vice-versa... he is not blowing smoke up my ass. remember, it has been over a year since he found out and that we talked the first time.. we have talked maybe 5-6 times.. It is just all to evident. But now, it doesnt really matter to me, because she lied to ME. She betrayed ME. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 That's a good point, TF...and a valid enough one to think about. I'd like to point out tho, in all my years on this and other forums, I've rarely seen a case where the BS lies about the situation. First, I think the majority of the time, there's no need to...the WS digs deep enough holes for themselves without any need for the BS to lie about anything. Secondly, most BS's are devestated by those lies...what they're normally seeking in all of this is the TRUTH of the situation above anything else. You might ask the same question of her H...why on earth would he trust anything Stampdaddy told him??? At some point...you listen to what's said and make your own decisions on things. the thing is: I am the only one that has given him the truth, and he admits that. and YES, he called ME for the TRUTH. remeber what I said? He gave her 2 opportunities over the weekend to see if she would tell the truth, and when she siad what she had to say, that she has NOT seen or talked to me since February, WHO did he call to verify this with?? The ONLY person that could tell him the truth. and as for him trying to blow smoke up my hiney? WHY in the world would he do that? Because I COULD have blown her completely out of the water. YES, she was with me 4 days last week... WHY would he call me to play a game?? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Well...the most obvious reason he'd call to "play a game" would be if he thought you had some sort of influence on his wife still...so that he could get you to "give up" and walk away. I don't think that's what's going on...I believe that the two of you had an honest conversation with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 I saw the husband playing that game to get his wife back by any means possible. That's what I was trying to figure out. Briefly. SD, I am sending you hugs (((((SD))))). You deserve better. Hang in there!!!!! TF Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 I saw the husband playing that game to get his wife back by any means possible. That's what I was trying to figure out. Briefly. SD, I am sending you hugs (((((SD))))). You deserve better. Hang in there!!!!! TF thanks and I am sorry if I racted to firmly.. I am VERY close to the situation and there has alwas been alot of conversations and I know it is hard for some to understand that I am not as in the dark as others in my situation.. H actually has confirmed MANY things that have been true. She really hasnt lied to me about much, it was just last week that I caught her in the first one after all of this time, followed by a second one confirmed by him (not really a lie, but more like betrayal) Thanks for the hugs Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 thanks and I am sorry if I racted to firmly.. I am VERY close to the situation and there has alwas been alot of conversations and I know it is hard for some to understand that I am not as in the dark as others in my situation.. H actually has confirmed MANY things that have been true. She really hasnt lied to me about much, it was just last week that I caught her in the first one after all of this time, followed by a second one confirmed by him (not really a lie, but more like betrayal) Thanks for the hugs She lost. Big time!!!!! IDK you irl but, SD, you are an awesome person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 YES, she was with me 4 days last week. I hope you are finally understanding that you have to take control over this. You aren't going to get over her until you decide to. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 11, 2008 Author Share Posted September 11, 2008 She lost. Big time!!!!! IDK you irl but, SD, you are an awesome person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! took me a minute to decode that LOL, but thanks for the nice comment.. yes she did lose big time, but it was her fault and NO fault of mine.. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 took me a minute to decode that LOL, but thanks for the nice comment.. yes she did lose big time, but it was her fault and NO fault of mine.. You got that right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
allbetternow Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 maybe its karma? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 maybe its karma? Maybe so.. Although I am disconnecting so quickly in so many different ways, I do feel sorry for the person that I met.. what she has become is pretty damn sad.. but unfortunately, I don't think I could look at her with much of a heart anymore, she stole that away and then killed... Link to post Share on other sites
allbetternow Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Maybe so.. Although I am disconnecting so quickly in so many different ways, I do feel sorry for the person that I met.. what she has become is pretty damn sad.. but unfortunately, I don't think I could look at her with much of a heart anymore, she stole that away and then killed... you've said that a few times. why is this diffrent? Not the first time she has lied. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 you've said that a few times. why is this diffrent? Not the first time she has lied. It's VERY different this time because HOPE flew the coop Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Time to pack it in for good and just move on without looking back SD... you'd never feel the same way about her now anyway even if she were free. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Time to pack it in for good and just move on without looking back SD... you'd never feel the same way about her now anyway even if she were free. No I wouldnt, it would be impossible to.. The sad thing is her H and I said EXACTLY the same things to her: "you have stolen so much from me.. all of my memories of you, of us, are trashed.. All of your sweetness is sour, and my love will turn to hate" Link to post Share on other sites
allbetternow Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 It's VERY different this time because HOPE flew the coop From Feb 8: Why are you still thinking about this, arent you happy to be away from the madness? Man, for me, it is MY "divorce" from her.. You just can't flip a switch. I gave myself to "US" and wasn't just some dude having an affair.. (I realize some will say you can't give yourself to someone who is already taken), BUT, I did, and she accepted and I have built my life around us.. Now I am dismantling, and yes, while it hurts, like I said, what hurts most is your view of that person you loved so much changing right before your eyes, and realizing that it's just your VIEW, but the person isn't changing, that is who they were all along, you just didnt see it... Feb 22: This just happened today, and I was already at a point of dismantling, because of her, and NOW, I feel like she is throwing me under the bus for the last time.... When all I did ws LOVE HER From March 3: In watching and listening to her, the lying, lying, lying (and knowing that her husband KNEW in his gut it was my #), and HOPING that she would do the right thing by standing up and taking one flippin' ounce or responsibility, but not, and the light started to come on. June 25th; I wouldnt even say that I made that clear to her.. Her, "I'll see you in the fall" statements have been answered quite clearly by me, "There will be NO FALL for me.... This is what I believe. And I can't just sit and wait for fall to come, because you won't be coming.." And I don't know what to believe anymore. I am truly weaning myself off of so much right now, but I am doing it I could go on, but I think you get my point...... It's Fall. Not trying to do anything here but help you see this and really mean it this time. The fact that she begged him not to divorce her should be a very big light bulb for you. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 No I wouldnt, it would be impossible to.. The sad thing is her H and I said EXACTLY the same things to her: "you have stolen so much from me.. all of my memories of you, of us, are trashed.. All of your sweetness is sour, and my love will turn to hate" How sad. This really choked me up but it's so true SD. Don't allow her to bring you down. ( And ditto for her H. ) TF Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 point taken Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 point taken My exh looks like Shemp. He got a bad hair weave/plug job & everytime I look at you avatar, I think of my ex. Thanks alot. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 nothing really new to report.. havent heard a peep.. not since last Wednesday.. I guess I kinda expected to hear something by now.. And I am NOT saying I want to, just expected to. My anxiety and panic attacks are under control, except I feel they are lurking and ready to pounce on me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Are you planning on taking any further steps to remove yourself from the situation? Changing your phone numbers, etc...? I know she knows where you live...but if you take this kind of step it not only makes it that little bit harder for you to get sucked back into it, but it also sends her the message....STAMPDADDY HAS MOVED ON! Something to think about. Hang in there, man. Personally, I'm really hoping that once the smoke clears, you find yourself someone that DESERVES you. You strike me as a damn good guy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 Are you planning on taking any further steps to remove yourself from the situation? Changing your phone numbers, etc...? I know she knows where you live...but if you take this kind of step it not only makes it that little bit harder for you to get sucked back into it, but it also sends her the message....STAMPDADDY HAS MOVED ON! Something to think about. Hang in there, man. Personally, I'm really hoping that once the smoke clears, you find yourself someone that DESERVES you. You strike me as a damn good guy... Thanks for the kind words.. No, I am not planning to do anything to help "remove" myself from the situation.. I can maybe remove my HEART, and the rest would take care of itself.. I guess I am hoping to get some kind of little clue as to what may be going on with her.. That would help me decide what to do.. And I am probably being stupid to even hope for that at this point.. Anyway, thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
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