Is it love?

[misternoname]

Quick background...

 

I'm 45. Been separated from my wife of 24 years for 5 months. She's a serial cheater (do you agree that 4 affairs quailifies applying that label?).

 

Anyways, I've already filed...just waiting for the 60 days to expire so we can get it over with. I started dating several months ago. I mainly used match.com. I went out with around a dozen different women. They were all very nice but I never felt any chemistry despite multiple dates with the same girl. Two months ago I met my current girlfriend on match as well. Our first meeting was very laid back....just met for drinks. I left feeling like she had potential but didn't give it much thought. The second meeting was an actual date. We had a wonderful time. When the evening ended I kissed her and WOW...instant electricity!

 

Here we are two months later and we have decided to be exclusive. We see each other virtually everyday. I enjoy her company immensely. The intimate aspect is great but more importantly we just enjoy spending time together.

 

Her background is similar. She's 37, divorced and recently broke up with a guy she had been seeing for the last couple of years. He turned out to be an abusive alcoholic con man (her friends have verified all that). She's very kind hearted and seems to be a lot like me in that she stuck with a bad situation hoping she could change her significant other until it was too much to take. Like me, she finds our relationship to be refreshing. I'm very stable and would never abuse a woman physically or mentally.

 

Now to my question...I think my feelings for her have moved from attraction to actual love. I haven't admitted that to her or my friends or family. I'm afraid they will immediately label her a "rebound." I'm aware that I'm at a very vulnerable stage of life but I can't deny how I feel. I haven't told her yet but based on our numerous conversations I'm almost 100% positive she feels the same and probably has the same concerns.

 

We're going on a quick vacation together in a couple of weeks. I'm contemplating telling her then...sounds like an appropriate/romantic time to do it.

 

Are there any unwritten rules about when you can be in love with someone? You always hear of love at first site (I guess in my case it was love at second site LOL). In my opinion, it happens when it happens and time is not a real concern.

 

Thoughts???

 

P.S. So that you don't assume I'm trying to "replace" my wife, she is everything my spouse wasn't. My STBXW was a classic narcisist. She would do anything that tickled her fancy with no regard to how it would affect me. Their personalities are very different as well. The ex was very moody and had a terrible temper. My new girl is laid back and logical. I don't know how she fights becasue we haven't had so much as a minor disagreement. My ex and I fought about piddly crap on a daily basis.