Is interracial dating with asian men not popular?

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by jenny

that's quite interesting. how would you see their basic principles at odds? expand?

The basic tenets of confucianism would be seen as a step backward for Western behavior towards women. Frankly, the "seen but not heard" subjugation of the wife wouldn't be attractive to any female that I've ever met. Confucianism is a hard nut to swallow for a female, and with the isolation of Confucian nations for so long, the concept of womens liberation would have never made it over there. This is the life they are known, where feminitiy is a burden, not a blessing. Where parents will kill their sinless baby girls in favor of boys, ironically to preserve the honor of their family. Where females are constantly in service, first to their parents, then to their husbands, and finally to their sons.

 

Which is more likely, a western woman confucianizing, or an eastern man westernizing? Both are harder than you would think.

[Jeff]

I think me and MonkeyOO can attest to that we are different from the Asian men and culture across the other side of the Pacific. I am a 4th generation Chinese-American. My great grandfather came to America in the 1850s looking for gold and eventually built the Pacific railways. Other than my Chinese surname and Asian face, I don't know what it means to be Chinese nor have I ever been to China (neither has my father).

 

But, what I am trying to say is the hurdles (visible and invisible) that Asian men face in the dating game is beyond their own control, some of it due to physical factors and some due to perceptions via stereotypes and media images. It is much easier for a black man to sell himself romantically to girls of all races compared to an Asian man and we shouldn't deny or be politically correct about this. The media has recently catapulted black men's desirability. I think Asian guys are catching up lately (with white and Hispanic women) because of the recent media exposure (ie Yao Ming in sports, Chow Yun Fat, Jet Li, Jackie Chan in cinema, etc.). Young girls are attracted to an image and stereotypes, not necessarily for the man inside nor for being colorblind. There is no colorblind love. It is still about sell and demand.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Jeff

...because of the recent media exposure (ie Yao Ming in sports, Chow Yun Fat, Jet Li, Jackie Chan in cinema, etc.). Young girls are attracted to an image and stereotypes, not necessarily for the man inside nor for being colorblind.

 

I think that people see Yao Ming, Jackie Chan, Chow, and Jet as novelties rather than sex symbols. I also think that the nature of true attraction goes deeper than the skin, and a certain amount of it is about attitude.

[moimeme]

Yes, but Dyer, as Jeff points out, the old-country attitudes do wash out fairly soon. Fully 'assimilated' (I am using the word with tongue in cheek) people of Asian descent have the same attitudes their peers do. To think that Confucianism is still present through - what - genes? - is a mistake.

 

I think that for many people it's more visceral than that, and I agree that the more exposure in the media they have, the more people (especially women) will find Asian gents attractive.

 

Let's take a different example. Look at baldness. For a long time, baldness was really not a desirable trait. Then along came a couple of very attractive stars who were naturally bald or adopted baldness - and now there is the whole A-A culture of shaved heads with a huge following of women proclaiming the sexiness of the bald head. Had the trend not been touted in the media, 'bald' and 'sexy' likely would not have been equated. It's a matter of first getting used to a look one might not be familiar with, and then associating the look with attractiveness in one's mind. The media, by giving exposure to whatever a look might be, aids in that process.

 

So, while it may be true that some gents of Asian descent retain some of the traditional ideals and attitudes which you describe, I certainly don't think that is true of a vast majority of them. If the day ever comes when we see some movies with Asian fellows as the sexy, romantic, passionate leads, I think you'll see changes fairly soon afterwards.

[monkey00]

what why is everyone here giving their own opinion on this topic??

 

why dont we just get straight to the point and ask the caucasian girls on this board themselves and get a straight out answer.

 

girls...what reasons do u have for not finding asian men sexy/attractive...or seeking them as a future partner??

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by moimeme

So, while it may be true that some gents of Asian descent retain some of the traditional ideals and attitudes which you describe, I certainly don't think that is true of a vast majority of them.

Neither do I, I never claimed Confucianism is genetic, nor would I claim that Romanticism, Victorianism, or whatever school of thought you invested your amourous feelings into was genetic. I was just citing this paticulart thought that has existed, unalienated by any other thought because of historical isolation, for so long in this part of the world, that it might take time for 'assimilation' to occur. I did ask some girls about the asian thing, most sought physical reasons.

[amerikajin]

I think the media plays a major role in creating stereotypes for sure, though I don't think it's only media. How much of it is media's fault, I don't know.

[Jeff]

I travel to Mexico a lot and it seems Hispanic women are not turned off by Asiatic features in men. Not to mention that Mexican media, although lacking visibility of Asians, at least doesn't stereotype or emasculate it either. I guess it depends on whom you ask, whether they consider Asian men to be unattractive or not.

[dyermaker]

That's interesting, about Hispanics

 

I wonder if that has anything to do with their races, seeing as how those from Mexico as well as those from Asia are of the same genetic race, according to Linneaus (Spelling?)

[Nameless]

ok. being an asian american myself.. ill put in my 2 cents.

 

I believe it has more to do with cultrue. Although most aian american or abc teens are unaware of their own country and culture. When i say unaware, i mean that they have barely even set foot on their own country. But their parents or other relatives living with them might have influenced them a lot. It like when your a baby and its good for the baby to have all the optimistic environment as possible. So the family members usually just influences the teen without the teen even knowing it. So when an abc thinks about getting into a relationship, especially long term ones, with someone of another race, he/she (mostly he) would probably laugh at it or just think it is impossible. If you are wondering why it is impossible, here's a thought. I've been reading these posts on the subject and it all stated that asian guys are physically smaller. We are aware of this so we might just take our losses and go for a girl we have a better chance with... an asian girl.

[Jeff]

Bruce Lee was not very tall (5'5-5'6). Yet, he married a taller white woman in college when he was not yet famous nor rich. He was a "BIG" little man. The guy had no fear. He was different because he projected himself and his pride in Chinese culture and being an Asian American. He was not afraid to approach women. I think when you project confidence, women see that. True that there are lots of girls who will not consider an Asian man. That is only because many of us Asian American men have not proactively reached out to women either. Many Asian guys of my generation have no problem finding a white, Hispanic or Middle Eastern date. We are very much like Bruce. The sky's the limit. There is nothing to fear nor be ashamed about. Go with what you have. Flirting is a joy of life. Use it or lose it.

 

Plus, we have less concerns of rejection because our dating pool is much larger due to we are the smallest numerical minority in America. Eventually, the more you play the game, sooner or later, you will score. Remember, you just need "one" hit out of the many. Life is too short to waste.

 

Look to Bruce Lee as an example. The man did not have an inferior complex nor tried to imitate other races style. He crafted his own image and it won him love.

[monkey00]

Originally posted by Jeff

Bruce Lee was not very tall (5'5-5'6). Yet, he married a taller white woman in college when he was not yet famous nor rich. He was a "BIG" little man. The guy had no fear. He was different because he projected himself and his pride in Chinese culture and being an Asian American. He was not afraid to approach women. I think when you project confidence, women see that. True that there are lots of girls who will not consider an Asian man. That is only because many of us Asian American men have not proactively reached out to women either. Many Asian guys of my generation have no problem finding a white, Hispanic or Middle Eastern date. We are very much like Bruce. The sky's the limit. There is nothing to fear nor be ashamed about. Go with what you have. Flirting is a joy of life. Use it or lose it.

 

Plus, we have less concerns of rejection because our dating pool is much larger due to we are the smallest numerical minority in America. Eventually, the more you play the game, sooner or later, you will score. Remember, you just need "one" hit out of the many. Life is too short to waste.

 

Look to Bruce Lee as an example. The man did not have an inferior complex nor tried to imitate other races style. He crafted his own image and it won him love.

 

YOU CANT compare bruce lee to the rest of today's society. it may have been easier to to score with a caucasian back in those days but in today's world, everything has completely changed. we rely on technology more than ever and the dating game has grown much more complicated than it used to be. the western civilization is slowly collapsing because there are increasing numbers of ppl who do no get married. all everyone cares about now is having sex several times a week with several partners, basically put more and more players are increasing.

 

also another reason may be because many asians arent as involved in the community, media/multimedia as other ethnic groups may be. i think this is probably the main reason why many ppl may consider asians inferior...thus killing/minimizing our chances with caucasians....and thus lies my 2 cents.

[Nameless]

also another reason may be because many asians arent as involved in the community, media/multimedia as other ethnic groups may be. i think this is probably the main reason why many ppl may consider asians inferior...thus killing/minimizing our chances with caucasians....and thus lies my 2 cents.

 

haha, theres our westeren civilization for ya. i was merely joking.. no need to be offended

 

 

o yea, dont think the majority of asians can actually fight with kung fu. no matter wut u ppl think and believe....

Bruce lee is said to have beaten for the 5 guys at the same time (in a real fight, not in movies). He has also shown that he can knock a man across the floor with his 1-inch punch thing. on national television. So now i ask you, Can you compare yourself to bruce lee?

[Nameless]

haha, don't know how to work the quotes.. sorry bout that.. internet dunce

[Jeff]

Have any of you realize that black women feel this same dilemma in regards to interracial dating in a similar light to us Asian guys? I talk with some and they agree that both black women and Asian men are getting the short end of the stick in interracial dating. Love is not color blind nor preference blind. You just have to work with what you have and hope for luck.

 

Monkey00,

 

I agree with your assessment on modern Western society. Love courtship has changed much in this time and age. I think people are not necessarily going to go for what you can offer from the "inside" but focus more on the "outside." Dating is becoming more primal oriented, unlike the past. If you don't believe, just check out the nightclubs in major integrated cities of the USA. It is meat market, and a very racist one at that. Black guys get more than they could handle, while Asian men and Black women just walk around by themselves. There is no free, fair and colorblind preferences in dating. People date images and stereotypes. Of course, this is accentuated when you take interracial dating/attraction into consideration. Some groups are left out (ie Asian men and black women).

[monkey00]

Originally posted by Jeff

 

Monkey00,

 

I agree with your assessment on modern Western society. Love courtship has changed much in this time and age. I think people are not necessarily going to go for what you can offer from the "inside" but focus more on the "outside." Dating is becoming more primal oriented, unlike the past. If you don't believe, just check out the nightclubs in major integrated cities of the USA. It is meat market, and a very racist one at that. Black guys get more than they could handle, while Asian men and Black women just walk around by themselves. There is no free, fair and colorblind preferences in dating. People date images and stereotypes. Of course, this is accentuated when you take interracial dating/attraction into consideration. Some groups are left out (ie Asian men and black women).

 

agreed Jeff,

 

the dating/courting field has grown complex to the point that images(what others portray them to be influencing your opinion) and stereotype....

in today's age your psychological wits must be forced to think a certain way when courting...almost like, denying yourself of what you want or talking to a girl often so you wont seem needy/annoying. flirting..playing hard to get...acting like a jerk or nice guy...

waiting several days to call a girl after getting their #, not callin to often.....what girls say they want in a guy is not really true...(cause they dont even know what they want!).ETC. so much more to add

 

Society has caused us to think and communicate/associate with girls in such a way that if you dont have the mental know-it-alls to do/not do the right thing at the right time they will not be interested in you or their interest level drops....times have changed and so must our minds change to think a certain way for our survival....cuase in today's world women have become attention whores, players, spoiled bitches....and so on...

 

p.s. boy i had no clue black women had it as bad as asian guys did...but alas it all comes down to stereotype and image.

[amerikajin]

Asian men haven't been oppressed the way black women (particularly those in America) have been. Your great grandparents didn't have their families ripped apart by the ugly institution of slavery. Your father didn't have to take a job as a janitor and sit at the back of the bus or eat at a "colored only" table. Not saying you or your parents have had it easy - all immigrants face the challenge of entering and succeeding in a strange society. But blacks were singled out for mistreatment, and their communities have paid a price for it. Black women (and even black men) do have it bad, though times are changing.

 

Regardless of who you are, generalizations don't really matter. If an individual is attractive, they are attractive - period. There's no need to say "I'm Asian, I'll never get a white woman." or "I'm a black woman, I'll never get a white guy." A person gets what they opportunities they give to themselves.

[monkey00]

Originally posted by amerikajin

 

Regardless of who you are, generalizations don't really matter. If an individual is attractive, they are attractive - period. There's no need to say "I'm Asian, I'll never get a white woman." or "I'm a black woman, I'll never get a white guy." A person gets what they opportunities they give to themselves.

 

you may give yourself opportunities, but there are ppl in this world who will deny you of it.

because they pass judgement on you before they even get to know you...

[amerikajin]

Yes, there are, but tell those people to kindly f_ck off.

 

You guys want to be heart throbs and you want a certain profile of women to like you. You're automatically assuming that because you don't do well with them that it's automatically because you're Asian, and I don't always think it's so cut and dry. Are many white women guilty of stereotyping? Yes! There's no denying that. You probably stereotype, too, whether you realize it or not.

 

Work with what you have and be confident in yourself. You'll find yourselves opening up opportunities you didn't previously expect. White women (and I think Western, particularly North American women, especially) appreciate a guy who's self-assured and not worried about whether or not he's good enough for her. I repeat: there have been Asian guys who have been as good (and in many cases) better with the ladies than I and other white guys. Even with confidence, you'll run into white women who aren't interested in Asian men, but the trick is not to let that get to you. If you do, you'll find that a lot of other women - women who would ordinarily give you a chance - will pass you by as well.

[Nameless]

it is undoubtebly true that black women have suffered more than asian men. But this is dating, i doubt that slavery or building railroads will play a big part. Although it plays a part in racists but thats another story.

 

As for passing judgements before u know some1. Like it or not every1 will judge on the spot. It in human nature. You may judge on stereotypes or just on trendy clothing. Its sort of an unconscious act to judge and sterotype at the first sight of a person. But like amerikajin said, if we asian men just believe other ethnicities will not accept us, we may lose our chance for something great.

[Nameless]

o yea, the railroad thing was mostly made up of chinese immigrants.. So u kiddies out there wont get confused.

[dyermaker]

Slavery and Railroad building has nothing to do with it. Irish people were treated terribly (You see, one had to PAY to acquire slaves, but if an Irish guy died, there'd be more on the boat the next day), terrible conditions, shunned from society, for many years in America's past.

 

That never stopped Colin Farrel from getting play, he nailed Britney.

[monkey00]

Originally posted by dyermaker

Slavery and Railroad building has nothing to do with it. Irish people were treated terribly (You see, one had to PAY to acquire slaves, but if an Irish guy died, there'd be more on the boat the next day), terrible conditions, shunned from society, for many years in America's past.

 

That never stopped Colin Farrel from getting play, he nailed Britney.

 

eh i know the story, i saw gangs of new york!!

[Caligirl23]

I have dated 2 black guys one white guy and an asian before and to report on that "all asians have small dicks" and hate to say its been true. Of the two asians one was 5 inches and one was 5 1/2 inches. The theory all black men are huge is also incorrect one of the black males was 6 and one was 7, the white believe it or not was the biggest he had a 9 inch penis.

[ShortFuze]

I'm asian and I would date white women. I got no problem with that. I'm more into white women than asians. But I do see more asian girls with white and black men. I hardly see white or black women with an asian guy...probably just not in my area..