Is interracial dating with asian men not popular?

[monkey00]

Originally posted by [Ros]Kurt[X]

what if you really don't have what it takes to be confident... how can you be confident without being a bully...

again the "asian" I mean is the asian from asia, not asian americans. real asians don't have the american stuff that can make them confident. and they are often left out by people because of their "bad" english. it's not they don't want to confident, they don't have the opportunities to be confident in front of white girls. yes they can work really really hard to build up those characteristic that make them confident, it's just not fair that white guys don't have to work hard at all.

 

Kurt you made an interesting point we all missed.

 

Yes asians from asia that come to the states normally have bad english cause they rarely use it back home. Which somewhat cripples their chances with interracial dating. which in turn, leads them to being friends with only people within their ethnic background. I feel this is where the problem lies in confidence in certain asian groups.

Actually talking about this reminds me of a similar situation with middle eastern/ indian (India) people, which they probably have.

 

I agree, women in general dont have to try hard to choose a good mate. i mean most women do look at their men as being the "provider". So in this situation, yes white guys probably would have better chances with women compared to the asian guy taht came recently.

 

If i didn't come to America at a young age, i think i'd be dealing with that right about now...

[tokyo]

Originally posted by [Ros]Kurt[X]

and they are often left out by people because of their "bad" english.

 

If they want to date an American girl, then they should learn their language properly. I don´t see your point in complaining, I for my part, do not understand why someone who is not even able to communicate properly in my language would want to date me. I absolutely would understand it when someone I was interested in, but whose language I didn´t speak wouldn´t be too eager to date me. Communication is a really important part of a relationship and if you can´t speak your partners language properly then I´m not surprised if despite all your other good qualities you might have a harder time to get in contact with people.

 

 

it's just not fair that white guys don't have to work hard at all.

 

If you want fair chances, then you should consider going back home.

 

 

Too many guys here consider themselves to be such victims that it´s no wonder that they have trouble meeting women.

 

On this time there always comes a bunch of guys who complain they can´t get a white woman. Now, let´s look closer at this. Many women probably have a bunch of criteria that Asian maybe do not meet, they are usually not tall, not muscular, do not show the amount of confidence that attracts women. You can go and complain about the unfair and biased media, about how stupid women are for being so shallow, for being whatever, BUT you are not going to get laid by these women. All your complaints are absolutely worthless in respect to changing your situation and just make you look like whiney losers and that´s one of the biggest turn offs that I know.

 

The only thing that you can do is trying to convince these women that you have a lot of other qualities that make up for your lack of size or muscles. The single market is just like any other market, you want to sell something, in this case, yourself. You improve the product so that it meets the demand of the buyer and you improve the marketing, because a good product alone is not enough.

[RosKurtX]

very unfortunately I don't live in CA nor vegas nor Seatle. I live in a southern state with all those super christians around me. I have some white gal friends, they like me cuz I'm funny and sweet and cute but they never thought about dating me ( in other words I'm everything besides hot). maybe it's not the fact they don't want to date me due to I'm asian, because I don't think I have ever dated anyone for my entire life. I'm the kind of person that people usually call "losers". I don't know why I'm a loser, cuz they never told me. so I'm stuck in this terrible situation and don't know what to do.

[monkey00]

Originally posted by [Ros]Kurt[X]

very unfortunately I don't live in CA nor vegas nor Seatle. I live in a southern state with all those super christians around me. I have some white gal friends, they like me cuz I'm funny and sweet and cute but they never thought about dating me ( in other words I'm everything besides hot). maybe it's not the fact they don't want to date me due to I'm asian, because I don't think I have ever dated anyone for my entire life. I'm the kind of person that people usually call "losers". I don't know why I'm a loser, cuz they never told me. so I'm stuck in this terrible situation and don't know what to do.

 

if thats the case, then the problem lies in you. As kooky said, you're the product, you're selling yourself. What good qualities do you have or can you present to those girls?

 

I understand you live in a southern state where interracial dating is rare, compared to other cities like cali and nyc. But if you dont put yourself out there (product) and go for what you want in life, it just wont happen.

 

do you lack confidence and self esteem? is it cause of your weight?

Try joining a gym and starting a workout program, when you get bigger you'll notice the difference in how yo ufeel about yourself.

[tokyo]

I think guys have the problem of having to be more assertive and more active when it comes to dating, but women are more forgiving when it comes to looks. Your looks are still less important when you can make it up with charm, intelligence and self-confidence.

 

If you want to improve your chances, then I´d suggest to start exercising a bit in order to get in shape. We are not talking about something à la Arnold Schwarzenegger, but just some exercising to make you look fitter, healthier and more active. Second, I´d recommend you to take some classes in whatever, because someone who is interesting and has something to tell will always attract people. Hint: mental stimulation, things are not always happening at the physical level. If your English is bad, then take some classes in English writing or literature.

 

If you are getting in better shape and develop your intellectual skills you will also gain more confidence and a positive side effect of joining the gym or a class will be that you have the opportunity to meet people and get to know them better.

 

I wonder why the Asian guys here are so eager to date white females, they probably would have less problems dating an Asian girl. But maybe it´s less about dating a woman, but more about going for the unattainable ones. If they were in Asia they would probably also go for the girls who are out of their league and complain that life is unfair and women are all superficial and do not appreciate nice guys.

 

I can only say, the women that you are after probably did a lot in order to improve their product which in turn makes you want them. Ergo, you will also have to invest some time and energy in yourself if you want to play in their league. You will have to be better than the white guys, but that´s your choice, you could as well go for a woman who is less demanding, but that´s just not what you want. So stop complaining and try to improve your chances or shut up and take what you can get.

[RosKurtX]

Thanks a lot for the advises. right - I am working in the gym and on the track and hopefully will gain some weight... lol I'm a slim guy weighing only 148lb. I'm feeling pretty confident today though I figured that I should look at girls a little more... one of my gal friends followed me from the dorm room to the exit of the building, I did notice her till then cuz I never look at girls... I said I don't know why I don't look at them, but pretty girls usually make me feel bad cuz I know they all have hot boyfriends and their prettyness makes me feel I'm ugly (I'm a normal looking asian with glasses)... I know that girls are more forgiving in terms of looking, but what would you choose, if two guys are of similar quality but one is prettier? There are TONS of hot looking white guys out there. I'm trying to get to know more people, but 18 credit hrs and 8am classes everyday and my self-esteem doesn't let me go out partying all the time. I can only try to be around people by participating in extra-curriculum activities. I did find quite a few very nice girls that I would love to be with for the rest of my life, but they are all upperclassman. I'm afraid that they will consider a freshman as a little brother instead of a reliable man (however I'm 20 years old). Plus dating between council members is not quite a nice thing to do. Even worse is that I'm ECE major, the world of single men, mostly asian... It's just sooo hard to find a decent girl to chase, who doesn't have a boyfriend. there's a saying: never assume a nice girl is single, cuz she'll always have a boyfriend; never assume a guy is in a relationship, cuz he'll always say that he's single.... hahaha I know that ain't true

[Topaze]

Well I am Black and female and definitely interested in dating Asian men. I have dated Asian men and I have appreciated the way in which I have been treated. Any suggestions for meeting Asian (particularly Japanese) men in Toronto? I am close to a Japanese man. We hand out together A LOT. He ttreats me really well. Takes me out regularly, always pays, gives me gifts, etc. I think he is really hot but I guess he just thinks of me as a friend I have dropped hints but he doesn't seem to be picking up on it and I am not going to chase him. I am looking for single or divorced men over 40.

 

Thanks.

[Topaze]

You have both summed this up PERFECTLY. That's exactly what I see here in Canada too.

 

Black women may as well be invisible and Asian men unless they are tall and in an exotic industry such as entertainment are shunned too. Tall Asian men with a hip appearance (e.g. long hair, very trendy clothes) tend to be hit on constantly by White women.

 

Anyway because of factors like this, I stopped going to clubs. It was just too humiliating to be ignored night after night. The men tended to go for young blonde and Asian women who were thin and dressed in skimpy clothing. Other than that, you could stand there the whole night and be ignored. The Asian men were turned down time after time when they asked women to dance.

 

 

Originally posted by Jeff

Have any of you realize that black women feel this same dilemma in regards to interracial dating in a similar light to us Asian guys? I talk with some and they agree that both black women and Asian men are getting the short end of the stick in interracial dating. Love is not color blind nor preference blind. You just have to work with what you have and hope for luck.

 

Monkey00,

 

I agree with your assessment on modern Western society. Love courtship has changed much in this time and age. I think people are not necessarily going to go for what you can offer from the "inside" but focus more on the "outside." Dating is becoming more primal oriented, unlike the past. If you don't believe, just check out the nightclubs in major integrated cities of the USA. It is meat market, and a very racist one at that. Black guys get more than they could handle, while Asian men and Black women just walk around by themselves. There is no free, fair and colorblind preferences in dating. People date images and stereotypes. Of course, this is accentuated when you take interracial dating/attraction into consideration. Some groups are left out (ie Asian men and black women).

[tokyo]

I'm not sure if what you guys here experience is really racism or not the same problem that a lot of other white guys experience - problems finding a girlfriend. If this was purely about racism, then I wonder how come that some Asian guys obviously do not have problems finding someone. And how come that according to your theory Asian women have more success in the dating game? Seems like this is less race-related, but a gender problem that also white guys have. This has less to do with your race, but with the fact that you are a guys and guys, well, have the luck to be considered the ones who do the approaching and wooing thing. White guys have the same problem.

 

I think we should stop this thread now, because I do not think that this is going to be helpful for any of you. No absolutely not, it only fuels your belief that it's your race that creates your dating problems while in reality it's the fact that you are probably nice guys who don't know how dating works or what women want. Step out of this thread and read the posts about nice guys, doormats, etc. and how to approach women. That seems to be more useful than dwelling on this thread and wallowing in self-pity.

 

I also don't understand it why a white girl should like you just because you like her and if she doesn't, put the blame on your race. Maybe you're just not what she wants. Maybe she just doesn't like your looks, but that's her choice. Just because you are interested in interracial dating doesn't mean that she thinks the same. I'm sorry, why should she? Because you are a nice guy? Well, you may be nice, but still not what she's looking for. I had to turn guys down that were nice and that I liked, but not how they wanted to. I always feel bad for hurting their feelings, but I also can't always say yes, the consequence would be me doing things for other people that I actually do not want to do just in order to avoid hurting their feelings, and a big big harem. You are interested, she isn't and says no, that's how it is. Some white women find Asian guys cute, others don't. Resenting them for their taste is not going to help you.

 

There was a really long discussion on this thread about nice guys, I hope it can make you understand that it's not only about race. Attraction is based on a lot of other things than merely your race. A good-looking, confident, nice, smart Asian guy would not have problems finding a girlfriend.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t53288

 

That may have sounded a bit harsh what I said, but I see one guy without a girlfriend confirming the next one that it's all about race and I'm sure that some women might find this to be a turn off. You should start realizing that with this strategy you are not reaching to find a girlfriend.

[Topaze]

Kooky. I am sorry to say that you are wrong. Ignoring the problem and putting the blame on the Asian men (or Black women) is not helpful and it fact it's downright cruel.

 

We live in a media driven society. Certain people are promoted as "hot" and sought after and others are shunned. I have had White men tell me POINT BLANK that while they would be willing to be my friend, they don't find BLACK SKIN attractive and they would never CONSIDER dating a Black woman. I am not talking about one or two guys either. Also, I have seen men go gah gah over blondes time and time again. I believe an Asian guy posted in this very thread that he wants a blonde. Are you going to tell me that ALL of the blondes have their act together and no attitude problems or issues with how they approach dating and that none of the Asian men and Black women do? I know MANY wonderful, and attractive Asian men and Black women of great character who are without patners and a lot of downright bitchy blondes who are SWAMPED with requests for dates and hit on constantly.

 

So please, don't add to the hurt and humiliation people already face by blaming THEM. It's doouble the cruelty and it won't address or solve the real problem....racism in North America and the fact that the dating playing field is far from level.

[tokyo]

Topaze, I feel sorry when you get rejected for the color of your skin, but I still don't think it has that much to do with racism. It's not my intention to be cruel, but some people here seem to put too much emphasis on their race than other issues.

 

People will alway have preferences about their partner, some people do not want to date someone for a special feature, in your case it was the color of your skin that they didn't like, in other cases it's the color of the hair or the weight. It can be anything. You mentioned Asian men and black women of great character and bitchy blondes who are surrounded by a bunch of guys. You are actually asking why does someone with a great character loses against someone who is so dumb. That happens all the time, through all the races. Everybody would like to be loved for his inner values, but it just doesn't happen, we are not ethereal beings without a body, we get influenced by our animalistic instincts. I don't think race is the issue, it's the lack of attraction. Everybody has a set of preferences, if that doesn't include black skin or slanted eyes, so it be. I honestly don't understand why people insist on dating someone who does not want to date them and then blame it on their race.

 

And my post did not adress in any way black women, I was talking about Asian guys as the topic of this thread revolves around Asian guys having problems with dating.

[Topaze]

Well I have started a Black woman thread as I think that similar dynamics are at play. I will be interested to hear what the men have to say.

 

In terms of insisting that people date me, that is not what I am focusing on. However, we all need love. If you happen to be an Asian man or a Black woman and you live in a White community in which the people around you won't even consider you...I am not saying consider, evaluate and then decide in favour of someone else, you aren't even condisered, well quite frankly it sucks.

 

I know some wonderful Asian men who can't find partners despite the fact that they are truly wonderful human beings. Yet, I see some Black and White guys who are players and jerks and they are swarmed by women. Same with the Black woman thing. I know some truly beautiful Black women (some have even modeled)and they have great personalities and no dates. Yet, I see some blondes who are cruel to the men they date and they have them lining up at the door.

 

Here is one example. One man in whom I was interested told me that he didn't find Black skin attractive. (We were just talking I never let him know how I felt. He has dated 3 blonde women who he has caught having sex with the man who at the time was his best friend (different women, different best friends, different stages of life). Yet, he will only consider a Blonde in her 20s who is slim and with big boobs. he is now 44 and he has never been married. I have since learned that he has many negative qualities so it would not have worked out anyway. But, at the time, it really, really hurt. I have had a number of experiences like that so I can relate to what some of the Asian men are saying.

[tokyo]

The problem you have described with Asian guys and black women being wonderful people and still not getting dates is the same problem that a lot of white people also face. It boils down to personal preferences. If a guy likes blonde with big breasts he also rejects the brunettes, the redhaired, the darkhaired. He will also reject girls who have less in the upper department. So what.

 

And I don't want to sound nasty, but why do you criticize white men for being players and jerks and still getting dates when you yourself seem to have fallen for someone that I would have put in the same category? You fell for him and you got rejected, that of course hurt, but how come you could fall so quickly for someone who obviously wasn't the best match for you? You don't feel so rejected and hurt if you don't fall too much in love with people that you don't know if you can trust or not. That doesn't look like it's a problem with race that you had, but with falling too fast for the wrong person and that happens to everybody.

 

I think dating in itself already is a tough game, and to make sure I don't do well in it either, but I'd say if you bring the interracial card into it, it gets even tougher. Human beings often prefer to stick to what they know and if that means only someone with the same color of skin as they have, then you can't change it. But if you want to spice up the game, then you must be prepared for more rejection and more hurt.

[Topaze]

And I don't want to sound nasty, but why do you criticize white men for being players and jerks and still getting dates when you yourself seem to have fallen for someone that I would have put in the same category? You fell for him and you got rejected, that of course hurt, but how come you could fall so quickly for someone who obviously wasn't the best match for you? You don't feel so rejected and hurt if you don't fall too much in love with people that you don't know if you can trust or not. That doesn't look like it's a problem with race that you had, but with falling too fast for the wrong person and that happens to everybody.

 

Not that difficult to understand. When I first met him, he was in a leadership position at a conference and he seemed like a nice guy. He was physically attractive, outgoing, energetic, and religious. It didn't take long for me to see the other side. Trust me, it wasn't until after I got to know him that I realized that he was a jerk. Kissing and telling. Pretending to be religious and then going as far a she women would let him and then dumping them saying he didn't find them attractive.

 

And no, I don't fall too fast for everyone. Another time when this happened, the guy had been taking me out for 5 months before I realized that he saw me as "just a friend". By then, yes I had developed feelings for him. The other scenario is meetin guys on the net and they will tell you point blank that they would be friends with a Black woman but would never consider dating them. Some Asian male friends of mine have told me about similar experiences.

 

The dating game is tough enough without making people feel like something is worng with THEM when it's other people who are rejecting them and not even giving them a chance because of superficial reasons like race and hair colour.

 

Kooky, your advice about "sticking to your own" is not viable when there are few of "our own" to be had in the areas in which we live.

[aus_half]

Hey guys, I'm an Jap half/Aus half and I was wondering if I'd have the same problem. I've sorta dated a few times before but sorta have low confidence and I'm not sure what to expect. Thanks guys

 

BTW, I'm 15

[Topaze]

I don't think you would have ANY problems. With that accent and your look, you would probably be flocked. I know a guy who is Eurasian (half Japanese as well) and women are hitting on him ALL the time.

 

BTW, do you have an older brother?

[aus_half]

Originally posted by Topaze

I don't think you would have ANY problems. With that accent and your look, you would probably be flocked. I know a guy who is Eurasian (half Japanese as well) and women are hitting on him ALL the time.

 

BTW, do you have an older brother?

 

Heh thanks for re-assuring me, anyways I have no brothers, just one big annoying sister Now to work on my confidence and self-esteem

[limejoose]

Hi all

This thread is way to long to read everything so Ive been reading post here and there. Im a Asian dude and my experiance with women of other races has been mostly positive. Im 6'0'', got a nice body and a bomb tan. People actually mistake me for Mexican when my tan gets really dark. I live in So Cal, Im the typical Cali surfer dude. Yea its true us asian men got the short end of the stick when it comes to how this society looks at us but f**k it. If you let that thought consume you everytime you meet a chick of another color your in for one gnarly ride bros. Its all about how you carry yourself. Meet girls and act like your the sh*t , its all a confidence things. Wahines dont care for anyguys that dont nut up. On my 21st Bday I went to Vages with my bros and we rolled into a hip hop club. Me and one of my bros where the only asian dudes in the club. At first it was alittle intimidating but i got a few drinks in my system and hit the dance floor. The black chicks loved me. Its all about how you shake your money maker man. Just play the game with the card youve been dealt, who knows you might hit a royal flush.

[Topaze]

Way to go. Sounds like you had a great time at that club. I think your height and outgoing personality help. I know that the Asian men I know who are shorter report havig problems meeting women. Then men I know who are taller and have let their hair grow a bit seem to be having an easier time of it now but even they have told me that they couldn't get a date to save their live in high school.

[Hawaii]

I live in Hawaii where I was born and raised. I'm white and female. I've dated men of all races. I dated Asian men. I got sick of the way they tended to treat me. I'm outspoken and emotional. Most of the Asian men that I dated, and there were more than a few, had a very small space for me to occupy and I seemed to exceed it. Instead of feeling more like myself, I felt I had to be less like myself to be accepted. They often looked like they were in pain when they were out with me. There was that whole, exotic p----- thing, as a white woman, I think I was sometimes looked on as potentially easy, something exotic to have sex with. One local Japanese guy I dated was so taken with my looks and exoticness that he never could focus on me as a person. Asian men when they are ready to settle down, tend to marry asian women. Then there's the whole Asian mother thing. Not a few Asian guys are spoiled by their families to be arrogant, full of themselves and unhelpful around the house. The worst part though is when they live with their mothers after the age when that should stop. There's that whole neurotic mother attachment thing. I won't date any male who lives with his mother. I think a neurotic mother son attachment is crippling for any race. (funny, I'm watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" now)

 

I did have a local Japanese American guy that I dated. He had long rock star hair and had grown up like a stray animal. Most of the people he hung around with were white, either growing up or as an adult. All of his girlfriends were punk rock platinum blonds (which I was then). He was different. We got along o.k.

 

Then the only guy I was ever in love with was Asian, Hong Kong Chinese. He was really different. Humorous, a smart ass, artistic, romantic, whimsical and had long hair, at least when I met him. He was truly unique. He had girlfriend so nothing happened, but I was in love with him and saw him quite a lot because of his work. So there you have it.

 

I think Asian guys tend to have a complex that they aren't sexy. It's worse on the mainland. I guess it doesn't help that sexy guys in the media tend not to be Asian. If that's really the problem, work on your confidence. Do you really want a potentially outspoken, emotional, headstrong female? Would you really take an interest in the content of her mind? Or is it an exotic p---- thing until you it's time to settle down? Or a confidence thing?

[aus_half]

Originally posted by slantedeyez

Hi, Im chinese and born fresh on the soils of North America...I wuz just wondering why not many Caucasian, black, spanish etc women choose asian men as lovers..Is it cuz of the way we look? Ive had other women of other nationalities interested in me but if you look at the majority thats a very rare occurance. I personally think its that damn stereotype.."All asian guys have small dicks"..or maybe not..

 

just wondering cuz i dont think its a question that is asked enough hehe..unless I havent skimmed this forum enough times. heh LATEr.

 

I dunno, maybe because of the eyes or something, i mean i have a double-eyelid but i still have some fat there which still makes me look asian, i usually exercise them all the time by forcing the fat somewhere else (probably doesn`t work). But if ur good looking overall, i doubt it`d matter what you are, but ofcourse there is the cultural diversity. My mum (aus) married my dad (jap) during the times when asians were scrutinzed (well japs mainly, due to WWII). Hopefully things have changed now but I still always feel insecure when I`m around non-asians, even though i`m part aus. I dunno why but it`s affected my whole life and i`ve always wanted to throw away my asian-ness and people never think that I`m even part euro. I`ve always felt inferior to all caucasians and i still do. I`m just sick of this feeling of being segregated and it REALLY hurts when i get some racist comments from my friends. Sometimes i just wanna slash my face to end all of this but that`s just plain stupid... Instead of going to a councillor (sp?) i`ve decided that i`d be cheaper to ask the people here. thanks 4 ur time.

[Rocdiva]

Originally posted by aus_half

I dunno, maybe because of the eyes or something, i mean i have a double-eyelid but i still have some fat there which still makes me look asian, i usually exercise them all the time by forcing the fat somewhere else (probably doesn`t work). But if ur good looking overall, i doubt it`d matter what you are, but ofcourse there is the cultural diversity. My mum (aus) married my dad (jap) during the times when asians were scrutinzed (well japs mainly, due to WWII). Hopefully things have changed now but I still always feel insecure when I`m around non-asians, even though i`m part aus. I dunno why but it`s affected my whole life and i`ve always wanted to throw away my asian-ness and people never think that I`m even part euro. I`ve always felt inferior to all caucasians and i still do. I`m just sick of this feeling of being segregated and it REALLY hurts when i get some racist comments from my friends. Sometimes i just wanna slash my face to end all of this but that`s just plain stupid... Instead of going to a councillor (sp?) i`ve decided that i`d be cheaper to ask the people here. thanks 4 ur time.

 

Aus _Half,

 

I understand your frustration and your feelings of alienation from a lifestyle that more closely resembles that of the dominant culture in Australia, but please do not turn those feelings onto yourself. Asian men are among the most attractive in the world just like all other races of men. The only difference is that men from the dominant culture are placed higher than men of other races/ethnicities. It is simply what people/societies often do when they are in power and greatly outnumber everyone else.

 

If your friends are making racist comments either you set them straight or drop them all together. Real friends build you up not tear you down. Your 'Asian-ness' or features should be celebrated not obliterated. I know how it is to be a little different. I am Black and during my primary school years I endured a few comments regarding my eyes. You see I have a Chinese great grand-father and for some reason 'my look' reached back a few generations, in conjunction with my Native American heritage, and gave my eyes a more slanted with very little lid look. I got comments from Kids as they can sometimes be cruel. Overall I am Black and grew up amongst Blacks, but there was a slight difference in my look so I caught it too-just not as much as you have Im sure.

 

It is so funny I used to covet 'round eyes' as a child/teen and tried to *alter* their look with make-up. I even thought about the surgery. It's hard enough being a child then growing into a teen without the *added* pressures of not fitting in. Subsequently, I grew up and gained a stronger sense of who I am and how beautiful I truly am and no one can take that away. I love my eyes I don't try to increase or create my eyelids with make-up like I used to do. I play up my features, my high cheek bones and so-called "pie face" (flat face).

 

Often it is not what people say about us that makes the difference it is what we 'tell' ourselves. Watch your self-talk. Becareful the things that you tell yourself. You are forgetting that the Japanese civilization can credited with with great advancements in the ancient world and in the present that leaves the world in awe to this day. Japanese culture was/is so rich and vibrant and has been so for THOUSANDS of years. KNOW YOUR HISTORY! Learn about your Japanese roots in conjunction with those of your Australian half. There is power in knowledge of self. I urge you to feed you mind what it need to be strong.

 

Peace.

[Soulfully]

Hey there, you asian brothers out there... don't let stereotypes about us get at you. And definitely, as Rocdiva said, honour and take delight in your "asian-ness".

 

I'm 100% chinese, though many seem to think I could be half-breed between an asian and an italian/spanish. Im not tall (5.8) and not bulky, but very athletic & toned, & naturally tanned. Sport trendy hairstyle (very nice hair as told by many female friends), wear urban, casual yet stylish clothes in my opinion & to be honest, I think I look pretty good, and so I've been told. Im 24, have graduate degree, speak 3 languages, a great job & a positive outlook in life, AND i've not really had any problems with girls. I can count 3 worth-counting relationships in my past, two spanish girls, one english, & they were all attracted initially by my looks, typical of our age. I have been told that I make a great lover, partner, companion. So there, dont grind too long over the idea that all your insecurities are based on the color of your skin, the way people see us asian dudes blah blah. & no, I dont have an enormous schlong... just a good average, and just if your wondering, a good average on the so called "white schlong surveys" hehehe. No one I've been with has every really complained.... in fact, more compliments on skills down there and orally . I have a magical longg tongue (apparently so)to complement my average size down there. So, if u are worrying about down there, dont forget you also have something valuable up there too.

 

Anyways, without wanting to sound too annoying, too "full of himself"... seriously, take pride and work with what you have. & that definitely cannot start with an "Oh, but Im an asian dude, so it wont work, Im at an disadvantage etc..."

 

As to my background? I was born in these beautiful Spanish islands down south from spain, with an amazing climate throughout the year. So yes, warm mild weather, not too humid, nice and sunny, beaches etc.... hence the natural tan. And are there many asian people there? No, very few. In fact, until a couple of years ago, I was probably the only young asian dude in my town. Did I feel like a stranger? not really, I was born and raised there..., all my friends are either spanish, english, indian, etc.... Great cultural mix I must say. When I was 18 I moved to England and graduated 4 years later (Psych honours)...yes im probably a little crazy myself. Anyways, that's besides the point. What im getting at, is that I dated spanish women back home, and english when I was abroad. So I havent had any problems with interracial dating...in fact, that's probably the norm for me. Funnily enough, I dont get to see too many asian women around...hardly any where I live now (Spain), and hence, I'm not usually very attracted to asian women...not to say that I wouldnt ever date one obviously...open to anything. I'm probably more attracted to what im used to...spanish latino women...in fact, that's my preference. Anyways, throughout my short little life, I have been attracted to women of almost all races & colours...white, brown (?), black, yellow... all good. And i have attracted women from all races and colour too.

 

So, take pride fellas... do whatever you can do to improve yourself, your looks, your mind, since that comes closely tied in with your physical and mental health. You will gain confidence too and be out there with a confident positive smile that will attract the ladies from all races. And I'm not saying that you should forget that your asian and just blend in...no....take pride in what you are, who you are, and work with what you have.... everybody can. Its funny how people say that asians look very effeminate. Well I can tell you that with strong eyes and eyebrows, cheeks, jawbone, facial hair shadow, and a well-built body, I look more masculine than many of these spanish dudes here... so go figure.

 

If you're worried about stereotypes, say goodbye to them to begin with. & one more thing. Don't forget about your oriental philosophies and spirituality... they can provide great insight and a peaceful balanced mind amidst the jungle and fast-paced western society, with all that work stress & pressures, crazy parties & the dating world, relationships etc.... God I love all that, but I love my oriental spirituality...it keeps me calm, peaceful, in one with myself and everything else....at home.

 

peace.

[Rocdiva]

Aus_Half,

 

There you have it. Straight from the 'horses' mouth.... I'm so glad that he posted that so you can see, with clarity, that you have all that you need in order to suceed.

 

Soulfully- You sound like a bonafide hottie.....hehehe

 

Take Note and Take Care

[Devildog]

Why does it not die? It is almost two years old. Why does someone come along every two weeks and dig it up again?