A huge part of me wants to get out but i don't know how

[katrollins]

well me and my guy started out 4 yrs ago. after 3 mths we broke up and he hurt me bad. couple weeks later he was apologizing and saying he wanted me back and the day after hooked up w/ another girl whom he stayed w/ for 9 mths while i dated one of his friends. we both happened to become single around the same time and on the rebound. one nite i went out to a dance and ended up dancing w/him all nite and riding home w/ him and losing my virginity to him. that was 3 yrs ago and we are still seeing eachother like that about once a week.

 

we date other people and stuff but it hurts when i hear him talk of his other girls and even when we are seeing other people it never works w/ them b/c of eachother. it used to not bother me and i had him right how i wanted him until he realized how much i care. we are constently saying that we are not going to see eachother n e more but it never happens. he acts as though he couldn't care less about me and that i always come to him and tries to make it look like i am the psycho ex that won't leave him alone to his friends. but his friends all know me now and some of them i am really close to (which botehrs him) and he tells me they can't stand me. all his friends say we will end up married.

 

i don't understand. we get into these talks about how we need to be able to be just friends and i should be able to handle being around him and whoever he is dating at parties and i can't and by the end of the nite after talking about it he ends up sneaking off w/ me and doesn't even act liek he is worried if we get caught which we have. he nevers stays away. i love him so much that i can't stay away either. he acts like he doesn't care at all and acts as though he never did and blames all the times that he said he loves me on being wasted. which he was.

 

i have gained weight since we hooked up and he says stuff about it kinda. not rudely just saying that i have let my self go and it hurts when he talks to me about his new chics and they are all skinny. the worst thing is a month ago i found out we have HPV which is genital warts and his new girl answered the phone one day when i called his apt for his roomate adn he wasn't there and she asked me alot of questions about me and him so i told her that yeah he still came to see me and told her i would advice her not to sleep w/ him and told her why. she was understanding and sounded like she was gonna do the smart thing and i even warned her that he is good at talking his way thru things but that i have proof and sure enough he admitted it all i guess and she said (after 3 weeks of dating) "it's ok b/c i love you" and he told me she said that and he was ok w/ her saying that and when i flippedout i said "i say that i love you in someway after 4 yrs and you run" he said he might love her too. me and him didn't see eachother for 3 weeks (longest record ever other then when i was out of state for a summer) and i was sure she won and we were over.

 

but then he came back. i thought it was b/c we can only have sex w/ eachother but i learned he could get it from her b/c the stupid ***** is willing to catch it. so now we r back at it and i found out from his friends and then finally him that they aren't that serious. and his friends are still saying that me and him will end up married. we are working on our 5 yr. and for 2 1/2 we have tried to stay away from eachother- yet we don't. what do i do? he is all i can be w/ like that for now and i love him but i need to be w/ someone who shows me he cares. everyone says he will grow out of it (he's only 21) if you actually read all of this about how horrible this has gotten and are not too confused i would LOVE to hear your advice. thank you i am just realy confused. a huge part of me wants to get out but i don't know how and then there is the part of me that thinks what if he finally does come around and admit everything again. i mean one week he will be perfect adn the as though he realizes it the next he is horrible. please help.

[Tony T]

What do you love about him. This guy treats you like royal crap!!! Go get some books on self esteem and try to think more of yourself. You need somebody in your life who treats you special. It's unfortunate that you have HPV but it's better for you to be single the rest of your life than to be with such a total jerk who makes you feel cheap and worthless.

 

Please see a doctor about the STD. There may be some treatments you can try in order to at least put it in remission and get rid of the warts. I feel so bad that you are putting yourself through such emotional turmoil to be with a guy I consider to be in the top five percent of a**h***s in the world. People on roller coasters have to get off eventually. You are on an eternal emotional roller coaster...unless you leap off at a slow point.

[katrollins]

thank you tony for your advice. you are right i do need out but i guess i did forget to put the good things in there, not saying that they will level out. He is one of the funniest guys i know. n e time i am down he will make me laugh. even if i am mad. he knows me inside and out and i had a lot of stuff happen and changes in the past 3 yrs w/ my family life and depression and the guy that was probably my soulmate dying and he stuck thru it w/ me. when he says the things about me letting myself go he always also says that i am a totally different girl from when he first met me. he is not always horrible i think he is just tired of having to deal w/ it all. whenever i am not in my depressed mode he is great and things are great. he doesn't really do the talking about me to his friends thing ne more it is more like a yr ago i guess he finally realized it is well known abd he doesn't act as immature in front of them. he doesn't ignore me he just doesn't show me alot of PDA kinda attention until we are alone. but it was like that when we met. like i said we have our weeks but thank you for helping me. i think he just gave up on trying and i as confused as i am i kinda don't blame him. i think i just need counseling LOL but thank you.

[anndorra]

LISTEN CARFULLY!!!!!

 

[color=blue][/color] even if this guy dose have feelings for you its an unhealthy relationship. he already put you in risk with one STD and continues to . what if next time its aids? if he was really worried for you would he do this? please , for youre self end the relationship. i under few circumstances advise people to compleatly avoid people, especially people you care for. but this is going to cause serious damage to YOU!! more than it already has. i understand youre feelings. i have in the same position. but i never let it go this far. i did however have a compleate brakedown over it. you have to find the line . what is youre fed up point? you have to realise for youre self that this is not worth it no matter how much you care. if you really need to prove it to youre self. stand firm. tell him you do not want to see him anymore . you care too much and he is just hurting you. if he wants you around things have to change NOW! do not let him wheasel his way out stick to youre guns. if he dosent believe you it will not worck. if you do this and he trully loves you he will be so afraide of loseing you for good he will take action. if he dosent he never really cared. 4 yrs later mine still trys to mess with my head but i will not let him. the love there is all mine, if he cared he would not hurt me so much. if he dose not come around. please for youre own sake stay away from him. do whatever it takes i moved towns.